TV News
Sometimes rambling can be a good thing. Other times, like when you've been arrested for drink-driving and you feel like discussing everything from the ownership of Malibu to how Jews ruin everything to girls with sugar tits, not so much.
Most people, had they been in a similar situation - and then seen that situation get blown up into one of the biggest stories of the year - would become a recluse living off the What Women Want money, but not Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson has a confusing-looking dead language-scripted movie coming out soon - and that means Mel Gibson has to go on TV, apologise relentlessly for his stupid drunk rambling, declare that he's not a monster and try to explain the difficult technicalities of trying to pack loose toothpaste into small containers to Diane Sawyer.
Raise your glasses 'cos the bitch is back.
You can't keep a good hellraiser down. According to reports, Sharon Osbourne turned up on set of The Sharon Osbourne Show drunk yesterday. Luckily Sharon Osbourne had a killer excuse for being so hopelessly drunk:
"I’m pissed, but it's my birthday."
That's right, yesterday was Sharon's 54th. We wonder if she
...
Sunday morning TV is a truly terrifying thing to behold - if you're not subjected to 19 solid hours of Hollyoaks, you're forced to watch religious folk banging on how they can heal people with their hands.
Folk like - ooh, let's pick a name at random here - hatefully smug 1980s one-hit-wonder balladeer Chris De Burgh. Yeah, Lady In Red Chris De Burgh. Chronically unable to pronounce the word 'romance' without sounding like he's getting struck down with a debilitating stroke somewhere in between the first and second syllable Chris De Burgh. Yeah, him. Good job we picked Chris De Burgh as an example, really, because mulleted nobsack Chris De Burgh has only bloody well gone on Sunday morning TV and told the entire world that his hands can perform miracles like Jesus, hasn't he?
Being a Star Trek fan is hobby fraught with danger; if members of your own family aren't persecuting you for being a friendless spod, then other Star Trek fans openly ridicule you for thinking that the Cardassians could beat the Tholians in a fight.
But sometimes, all the various threads of Star Trek fan can gather together as one. Next Generation fans can mingle with Voyager fans and Star Trek III: The Search For Spock fans can mingle with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country fans, all without fear of overheated discussions about whether or not Star Trek: The Animated Series should be included in the official Star Trek canon turning into gruesome blood-soaked battles. One such occurrence of peaceful Star Trek fan-gathering happened yesterday, when Christie's started its three-day auction of official Star Trek memorabilia, allowing absolutely anyone to own some cheap wobbly tat that was on telly once.
Childhood. Happy times loved and cherished by all. Back when you were little, you didn’t have anything major to worry about it. As a 11-year-old, the thought of getting a job in the real world, finding a mortgage and maybe even going to university were just distant things. Nothing to worry about.
Being a kid also meant you could do stuff that you can’t really do now when you’re all mature - and get away with them, too. Things like, say, shouting a barrage of swearwords at fat-mouthed middle-class "I've got an olive in me helmet" posterboy dinnerlady Jamie Oliver for making your school canteen sell only sticks of celery.
Schizophrenia affects loads of people in the UK. We could be dead clever and look up some fascinating statistics on Google but we understand that you're not that interested and you understand we're not. So let's just agree that it affects 'loads of people' and leave it at that.
Schizophrenia is a subject that came to mind after watching the last 10 minutes of X Factor on Saturday. In fact, scrap schizophrenia - we've coined our own term: Polymorphic media personality disorder. That pretty much sums up Sharon Osbourne and the fact that, although she's everywhere at the moment, she never actually seems to be the same person in any two places.
Anyone familiar with Lost will know that all sorts of mental crap is the norm for the people on the island, but something has recently happened that not even the most ardent Lost fan will be able to believe. That's right; forget that flashing black smoke or the exploding hatches or the man with the pretend beard or the way that Sergeant Zim from Starship Troopers managed to be the man who taught Sayid how to torture and the man in the hatch with the Scottish bloke - by far the weirdest Lost-related thing to happen lately is that Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who plays Mr Eko in Lost and was recently arrested for disobeying a police officer and driving without a license, has had his charges dropped. A member of the Lost cast who knows how to drive a car properly? Now that is unbelievable.
It's been exactly one week since Lukas Rossi won Rock Star: Supernova; and already the band, the winner and just about ever other pointless aspect of that jumped-up talent show/ bad haircut showcase have been all but forgotten.
It was already going to be difficult for Supernova - the Rock Star: Supernova band featuring Tommy Lee, Jason Newstead, Gilby Clarke and Lukas Rossi - to maintain the momentum they built up during the show's duration as they disappear to record their new album together, but now a judge has made it even more difficult for Supernova to maintain a career by ruling that Supernova can't even call themselves Supernova any more.
