TV News
Dancing On Ice: Coleen Nolan’s (Finally) Out
Next week sees the Dancing On Ice final take place - and it'll be taking place without Coleen Nolan. Things were against Coleen Nolan from the very start. Last night Coleen Nolan had to contend with a back injury that she picked up in training. And to her credit, during her routine to You’re Still The One, it didn’t seem as if Coleen was injured at all. Admittedly that’s because she always skates like a woman with a smashed spine, but never mind. So who'll win Dancing On Ice on Sunday? Here's our rundown for Jessica Taylor...
Next week sees the Dancing On Ice final take place - and it'll be taking place without Coleen Nolan. Things were against Coleen Nolan from the very start. Last night Coleen Nolan had to contend with a back injury that she picked up in training. And to her credit, during her routine to You’re Still The One, it didn’t seem as if Coleen was injured at all. Admittedly that’s because she always skates like a woman with a smashed spine, but never mind. So who'll win Dancing On Ice on Sunday? Here's our rundown for Jessica Taylor...
Shannen Doherty Returning To Show Nobody Watches Any More
Gee, things on 90210 sure are hotting up - like last week, when that person did that thing to that person? Wow. OK, we admit it. We haven't watched any of 90210, and nobody else has either. But that's all about to change, because 90210's knight in shining armour is charging over the horizon to resurrect its ratings - that's right, Shannen Doherty is returning to the show! According to the woman herself, Shannen Doherty is set to appear in the 90210 season finale. Finally, someone with enough star power to hold down a supporting part in a 2007 made-for-TV Christmas movie. You're saved, 90210! Saved!
Gee, things on 90210 sure are hotting up - like last week, when that person did that thing to that person? Wow. OK, we admit it. We haven't watched any of 90210, and nobody else has either. But that's all about to change, because 90210's knight in shining armour is charging over the horizon to resurrect its ratings - that's right, Shannen Doherty is returning to the show! According to the woman herself, Shannen Doherty is set to appear in the 90210 season finale. Finally, someone with enough star power to hold down a supporting part in a 2007 made-for-TV Christmas movie. You're saved, 90210! Saved!
The Restaurant’s Third Course: Coming Soon
Remember that reality TV show which was a bit like The Apprentice but focused on the contestants’ restaurant-owning acumen rather than the art of arse-kissing Alan Sugar called The Restaurant? Well it is back for a third series.
That’s right, Raymond Blanc is returning to judge nine couples who think that they can run an eatery because they once threw a successful dinner party so they can join him in restaurant running Disneyland. However this time Raymond says, “This year will be survival of the fittest. I am not looking for dreamers, I want to see couples with fresh ideas and a partnership that will flourish under pressure.” He says that every time, though, doesn’t he?
American Idol Double Elimination: Monobrow & The Dullard Out
First the good news - after months of endless faffing, American Idol has finally started eliminating finalists. Now for the bad news. Jorge Nuñez was eliminated from American Idol last night. Jasmine Murray also got the boot, but it's the loss of Jorge Nuñez that stung the most. Not because he's a good singer, you understand. but because all the cheap-shot monobrow jokes we thought up about him will have to go to waste. Still, Danny Gokey and Scott MacIntyre are still there, so at least we can still use our cheap-shot blindness and dead wife jokes. Hooray for American Idol!
First the good news - after months of endless faffing, American Idol has finally started eliminating finalists. Now for the bad news. Jorge Nuñez was eliminated from American Idol last night. Jasmine Murray also got the boot, but it's the loss of Jorge Nuñez that stung the most. Not because he's a good singer, you understand. but because all the cheap-shot monobrow jokes we thought up about him will have to go to waste. Still, Danny Gokey and Scott MacIntyre are still there, so at least we can still use our cheap-shot blindness and dead wife jokes. Hooray for American Idol!
Dancing On Ice: Ray Quinn, Blah Blah Blah
Once again, we come to the end of another week of Dancing On Ice rundowns - and something's just hit us. Famously Dancing On Ice has the stupidest viewers on TV - as evidenced by the way it keeps voting off the good skaters - and that's given us a terrifying thought: is Coleen Nolan going to win Dancing On Ice? She hasn't been in a skate-off yet, so the viewers obviously love her. She might win. That's a chilling proposition. Someone hold us. Anyway, here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Ray Quinn...
Once again, we come to the end of another week of Dancing On Ice rundowns - and something's just hit us. Famously Dancing On Ice has the stupidest viewers on TV - as evidenced by the way it keeps voting off the good skaters - and that's given us a terrifying thought: is Coleen Nolan going to win Dancing On Ice? She hasn't been in a skate-off yet, so the viewers obviously love her. She might win. That's a chilling proposition. Someone hold us. Anyway, here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Ray Quinn...
Dancing On Ice: Donal MacIntyre
Now that the Dancing On Ice final is less than a fortnight away, the required elements in each show are starting to get harder and harder. There was no more clowning around on with hats, or doing pansified synchronised spins, on Sunday's Dancing On Ice. No, instead they had to pull off one of the hardest moves known to man. They had to jump up and down. Truly, Dancing On Ice, you're advancing the nature of humanity as we know it. Here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Donal MacIntyre...
Now that the Dancing On Ice final is less than a fortnight away, the required elements in each show are starting to get harder and harder. There was no more clowning around on with hats, or doing pansified synchronised spins, on Sunday's Dancing On Ice. No, instead they had to pull off one of the hardest moves known to man. They had to jump up and down. Truly, Dancing On Ice, you're advancing the nature of humanity as we know it. Here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Donal MacIntyre...
Look! Here’s Your American Idol Top 13 Hate-Targets!
Tonight, the top 13 American Idol contestants take part in the first of this year's soul-destroying live finals. So, you know, hooray for that. The American Idol finalists are gently being eased into the competition, because tonight is Michael Jackson night and therefore all they need to do to impress the judges is squeak a lot and, if possible, turn into either a giant plasticine rabbit or quite a nice car. However, there's just one thing wrong here - we don't actually know who any of the top 13 American Idol contestants actually are. So we suppose we should bloody find out, then...
Tonight, the top 13 American Idol contestants take part in the first of this year's soul-destroying live finals. So, you know, hooray for that. The American Idol finalists are gently being eased into the competition, because tonight is Michael Jackson night and therefore all they need to do to impress the judges is squeak a lot and, if possible, turn into either a giant plasticine rabbit or quite a nice car. However, there's just one thing wrong here - we don't actually know who any of the top 13 American Idol contestants actually are. So we suppose we should bloody find out, then...
Dancing On Ice: Jessica Taylor
The thing we like best about Dancing On Ice, other than the fact that it's nearly over, is the weekly Torvill and Dean routine. Really, we honestly love it. It doesn't matter what they do, Torvill and Dean always deliver. Like on Sunday's show, for instance, Torvill and Dean's routine was almost completely unforgettable, apart from the fact that he was dressed like a stroppy waiter and she was dressed like a discarded Ferrero Rocher wrapper. It's attention to detail like this that makes Torvill and Dean number one! Here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Jessica Taylor...
The thing we like best about Dancing On Ice, other than the fact that it's nearly over, is the weekly Torvill and Dean routine. Really, we honestly love it. It doesn't matter what they do, Torvill and Dean always deliver. Like on Sunday's show, for instance, Torvill and Dean's routine was almost completely unforgettable, apart from the fact that he was dressed like a stroppy waiter and she was dressed like a discarded Ferrero Rocher wrapper. It's attention to detail like this that makes Torvill and Dean number one! Here's the Dancing On Ice rundown for Jessica Taylor...
