TV News
Man Arrested For Liking Dancing With The Stars, Basically
How much should any man enjoy watching Dancing With The Stars? Enough to remember that it even exists? Yes, that's exactly how much. If you know more than three of the Dancing With The Stars contestants by name you're on iffy ground. And woe betide anyone who actually votes on the Dancing With Stars results. But is unexpectedly turning up at the Dancing With The Stars studio with two loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and a handful of love letters to Shawn Johnson liking the show too much? Apparently so, because a bloke's just been arrested for that.
How much should any man enjoy watching Dancing With The Stars? Enough to remember that it even exists? Yes, that's exactly how much. If you know more than three of the Dancing With The Stars contestants by name you're on iffy ground. And woe betide anyone who actually votes on the Dancing With Stars results. But is unexpectedly turning up at the Dancing With The Stars studio with two loaded guns, a roll of duct tape and a handful of love letters to Shawn Johnson liking the show too much? Apparently so, because a bloke's just been arrested for that.
American Idol: Rubbish Generic Blonde Woman Out
Well, that whole 'predetermined American Idol top four' thing turned out to be blindingly accurate, didn't it? Just look at Alexis Grace. According to reports, Alexis Grace was going to be one of the last four contestants on American Idol. But that probably won't happen any more, because last night Alexis Grace got voted off American Idol. This means that Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert also aren't as safe as they think they are. Especially Lambert, because his voice sounds like a malfunctioning pungi and it's only a matter of time before he's attacked by a venomous snake.
Well, that whole 'predetermined American Idol top four' thing turned out to be blindingly accurate, didn't it? Just look at Alexis Grace. According to reports, Alexis Grace was going to be one of the last four contestants on American Idol. But that probably won't happen any more, because last night Alexis Grace got voted off American Idol. This means that Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert also aren't as safe as they think they are. Especially Lambert, because his voice sounds like a malfunctioning pungi and it's only a matter of time before he's attacked by a venomous snake.
American Idol: Stuffed Full Of Country
Now we all know who the American Idol top four will be, there's no need to watch for the next two months. Unless, you know, you're a masochist. But credit where credit's due, American Idol is determined to make the long, flat ride to the inevitable Danny Gokey victory interesting. Wait, did we just say 'interesting'? Because we actually meant 'so flesh-meltingly horrific that if any of us survive it with all of our senses intact it'll be a great big bloody miracle'. Last night was Country Night on American Idol. And, yes, it was as awful as it sounds.
Now we all know who the American Idol top four will be, there's no need to watch for the next two months. Unless, you know, you're a masochist. But credit where credit's due, American Idol is determined to make the long, flat ride to the inevitable Danny Gokey victory interesting. Wait, did we just say 'interesting'? Because we actually meant 'so flesh-meltingly horrific that if any of us survive it with all of our senses intact it'll be a great big bloody miracle'. Last night was Country Night on American Idol. And, yes, it was as awful as it sounds.
Dancing On Ice: Will Ray Quinn Win The Final? Yes
So this is it, our last Dancing On Ice dispatch of the year. We won't pretend that it's been fun. Or good. Or worthwhile. But over the months we've seen all kinds of Dancing On Ice-related excitement take place. Todd Carty almost falling over, um... no, actually Todd Carty was the only piece of Dancing On Ice-related excitement to happen this year. But who'll win? That's down to you. Well, not you. The people who vote on shows like Dancing On Ice. You know, the illiterates. Anyway, here's our final look at the inevitable Dancing On Ice winner, Ray Quinn...
So this is it, our last Dancing On Ice dispatch of the year. We won't pretend that it's been fun. Or good. Or worthwhile. But over the months we've seen all kinds of Dancing On Ice-related excitement take place. Todd Carty almost falling over, um... no, actually Todd Carty was the only piece of Dancing On Ice-related excitement to happen this year. But who'll win? That's down to you. Well, not you. The people who vote on shows like Dancing On Ice. You know, the illiterates. Anyway, here's our final look at the inevitable Dancing On Ice winner, Ray Quinn...
With Video: America’s Next Top Cattle Stampede
America's Next Top Model is known for two things - delaying the credits for a full sixty minutes even though nothing seems to be happening, and sometimes ripping off that 24 show. Surely that last bit confused you - we're talking about the various bomb configurations Top Model management always forces their contestants to run from. As we understand it, this is an excellent way to tell if they're still photogenic while they think they're going to die. Take their recent bomb scare, for instance - it happened at a casting call, and let us tell you - most of those girls seemed very un-poised.
America's Next Top Model is known for two things - delaying the credits for a full sixty minutes even though nothing seems to be happening, and sometimes ripping off that 24 show. Surely that last bit confused you - we're talking about the various bomb configurations Top Model management always forces their contestants to run from. As we understand it, this is an excellent way to tell if they're still photogenic while they think they're going to die. Take their recent bomb scare, for instance - it happened at a casting call, and let us tell you - most of those girls seemed very un-poised.
Dancing With The Stars: Steve-O Hurts His Little Backy-Wacky
Steve-O is a man who, for a fairly large chunk of his career, made a living by stapling his balls to his thigh. Steve-O is fearless. He sets his hair on fire. He lets people throw darts at him. He shoots fireworks out of his bottom with such confusing regularity that people often mistake him for Sydney Harbour Bridge. But even Steve-O's boundless physical endurance has its limits, which is why he ducked out of last night's Dancing With The Stars because he hurt his back. Next week: Johnny Knoxville quits Hell's Kitchen because an onion looks at him funny.
Steve-O is a man who, for a fairly large chunk of his career, made a living by stapling his balls to his thigh. Steve-O is fearless. He sets his hair on fire. He lets people throw darts at him. He shoots fireworks out of his bottom with such confusing regularity that people often mistake him for Sydney Harbour Bridge. But even Steve-O's boundless physical endurance has its limits, which is why he ducked out of last night's Dancing With The Stars because he hurt his back. Next week: Johnny Knoxville quits Hell's Kitchen because an onion looks at him funny.
Dancing On Ice: Can Donal MacIntyre Win The Final?
It's the final of Dancing On Ice on Sunday and, despite all the nasty things we've said about it lately, we're sad. Why? Because we've just realised that throughout Dancing On Ice, Jane Torvill has been dressing in an increasingly inappropriate way, culminating on Sunday with an outfit that she appeared to have stolen from a teenage girl. If Dancing On Ice had lasted just a month longer, we swear we'd be seeing her in a nappy and bib. And now we won't. Sad. Never mind, here's the Dancing On Ice final rundown for Donal MacIntyre...
It's the final of Dancing On Ice on Sunday and, despite all the nasty things we've said about it lately, we're sad. Why? Because we've just realised that throughout Dancing On Ice, Jane Torvill has been dressing in an increasingly inappropriate way, culminating on Sunday with an outfit that she appeared to have stolen from a teenage girl. If Dancing On Ice had lasted just a month longer, we swear we'd be seeing her in a nappy and bib. And now we won't. Sad. Never mind, here's the Dancing On Ice final rundown for Donal MacIntyre...
Michael Jackson Lined Up To Fall Apart on X Factor
You know that Michael Jackson dude? The pop star who looks like a cross between a waxwork dummy and half a human being? Well he’s announced a few gigs in London to recoup some money so he can pay off his debts and buy more extravagant things like a 40-foot-high sculpture of Barbara Windsor. When London is plagued with his presence later this year, the singer will no doubt be asked to take part in multiple public appearances. Evil music lord Simon Cowell is one of the people who wants MJ to appear on X Factor when it annoyingly returns on our screens towards the arse end of 2009.
You know that Michael Jackson dude? The pop star who looks like a cross between a waxwork dummy and half a human being? Well he’s announced a few gigs in London to recoup some money so he can pay off his debts and buy more extravagant things like a 40-foot-high sculpture of Barbara Windsor. When London is plagued with his presence later this year, the singer will no doubt be asked to take part in multiple public appearances. Evil music lord Simon Cowell is one of the people who wants MJ to appear on X Factor when it annoyingly returns on our screens towards the arse end of 2009.
