From the category archives:

TV News

Star Wars TV Show Gets A Name & Might Not Be Terrible

by Michael Park

Yes, we know what you’re thinking and stop looking at us like that. You’re one of those Star Wars nerds that hate everything to do with the franchise after 1982, aren’t you? You don’t have any time for Ewoks or Gungans or modern, snazzy computer graphics. You want to watch monsters that move like they’re [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

It’s The Desperate Slags On Ice Lineup Everybody! Is Your Favourite Sugababe In Here?!

by Robin Darke

Still reeling from the Christmas carbohydrate intake and eventually calming down from the unfortunate and thinly veiled insults from your elderly, racist grandmother? Well don’t get too comfortable because your rage-meter is set to reach all new, Jeremy Clarkson-esque highs with the unveiling of the Desperate Slags on Ice lineup. Dancing On Ice always been [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Will Smith Is An Egomaniac Anti-Christ Don’t You Know?

by Mof Gimmers

Think about Will Smith in your piddling mind. Go on. Try. What are you thinking? That he seems like an inoffensively nice bloke. The kind of chap you could take home to mama and everything would be AOK? WRONG! JESUS CHRIST, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? THE MAN IS CLEARLY A MONSTER! How so? Well, you [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

ITV Cut Tim Minchin’s Jesus Song From Jonathan Ross Show (And We’re Surprised?)

by Mof Gimmers

Tim Minchin has had a pop at ITV after his live performance of satirical Christmas song WoodyAllenJesus was cut from last night’s Jonathan Ross show. For the first time in his life, he can feel like he’s some kind of modern day Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks got a routine kicked off Letterman. Don’t you pillocks [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Chantelle Houghton And Alex Reid Get Their Own Mind Numbing Reality TV Show

by Matthew Laidlow

Just think of a man who makes a career out of punching people. Now, think of WWF wrestlers, who are paid to pretend to punch people. Now think of someone who is paid to be repeatedly punched. Hi there Alex Reid! Of course, when he’s not in heels, Alex Reid gets battered in the realm [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Craig Revel Horwood Celebrates Not Being Fired From Strictly Come Dancing By Losing His Moobs

by Robin Darke

It must be awful when you’ve become so fat, so disgustingly obese, so very massive that you have you’re own blood group and that blood group is Rocky Road. So absurdly gargantuan that the only way to way to lose weight is resort to some serious cosmetic surgery that sucks out all the little fat [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Kitty Brucknell Has Sex With Justin Timberlake Impersonator: Everything In World Ever Now Comparatively An Emaciated Husk

by Sophie Hall

Hello! This story doesn’t make any sense! In fact, this story is so categorically stupid that it requires a key. So, here is a key. KEY, YEAH? *SCOTT JORDAN – Man who says he looks like Justin Timberlake and substantiates this claim with a photo of himself in a trilby, which apparently is something the [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Golden Globe Nominations Cause Fleeting Interest All Over The World

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! The Golden Globe nominees have been announced! Isn’t that amazing? Your day just went from pretty average to spectacular on the waft of a bunch of nominations for a bunch of actors who barely know you exist! Tip top stuff. Two veritable strangers to us all are having a particularly good day today, namely, [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Charlie Brooker Is Having A Baby… HOW DARE HE BE HAPPY?!

by Mof Gimmers

People are really, very very stupid. They’ve always fallen for the oldest trick in the book and, wanting to eschew the popular kids and good-looking folk, they’ve adored those who trade in false-modesty. The ‘I’m crap like you too!’ brigade. Then, best of all, when the facade slips, the falsely modest get a hot girlfriend [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Dappy Slags Off X-Factor, Simon Cowell Must Be Quaking In His Expensive Shoes

by Matthew Laidlow

If you know someone who’s doing well, you’d be there for them, right? Always showering them with praise or offering words of encouragement when stuff goes a little bit pear-shaped. Anyone with a heart would anyway. But is everything we see even real? We’ll never know if the smiles and waves that were directed to [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →