TV News
Bagpuss Returns: A Generation Weeps Sad Tears For Times Gone By
If you're old enough to remember when Spit The Dog was the name of a badly-mannered puppet, and not a party game played by Premiership footballers, then here's some great news for you: the current owners of the Bagpuss rights have announced that the little critter is to return, and haunt forever the dreams of a new generation. Huzzah! To see the potent effect that Bagpuss had on the minds of millions, check out this true fact: Catherine Zeta-Jones was so entranced as a a child by the adventures of Emily that she took to heart the love that little girl had for her "old, saggy friend. Baggy, and a bit loose at the seams". Twenty years later, and who should catch Catherine's eye? Only Michael Douglas. Case proven.
If you're old enough to remember when Spit The Dog was the name of a badly-mannered puppet, and not a party game played by Premiership footballers, then here's some great news for you: the current owners of the Bagpuss rights have announced that the little critter is to return, and haunt forever the dreams of a new generation. Huzzah! To see the potent effect that Bagpuss had on the minds of millions, check out this true fact: Catherine Zeta-Jones was so entranced as a a child by the adventures of Emily that she took to heart the love that little girl had for her "old, saggy friend. Baggy, and a bit loose at the seams". Twenty years later, and who should catch Catherine's eye? Only Michael Douglas. Case proven.
Jon Gosselin Tries To Destroy Jon-Less Kate Plus 8 Forever
Advance warning: you probably won't side with anyone in this story because, well, it's about Jon Gosselin. And his awful wife. And his awful show. You see, earlier this week Jon Gosselin was effectively fired from his TV show Jon & Kate Plus 8, which would continue without him as Kate Plus 8. Except now Jon Gosselin has decided that if he can't be part of Jon & Kate Plus 8 then nobody can, so he's banned the crew from filming his kids. Oh, and he spelt his own name incorrectly on the sign informing the crew of this. He's a catch, that one.
Advance warning: you probably won't side with anyone in this story because, well, it's about Jon Gosselin. And his awful wife. And his awful show. You see, earlier this week Jon Gosselin was effectively fired from his TV show Jon & Kate Plus 8, which would continue without him as Kate Plus 8. Except now Jon Gosselin has decided that if he can't be part of Jon & Kate Plus 8 then nobody can, so he's banned the crew from filming his kids. Oh, and he spelt his own name incorrectly on the sign informing the crew of this. He's a catch, that one.
So You Think You Can Da… Hang On, Is That A Vagina?
Did you see the gigantic vagina on So You Think You Can Dance this week? No, we don't mean Nigel Lythgoe. The actual gigantic vagina. No, really, we fully understand that any TV show featuring so many close-ups of Nigel Lythgoe's great big mingey smug face might desensitise viewers to the sight of any female genitalia, but So You Think You Can Dance literally broadcast footage of a contestant's vagina this week. Or at least something close enough to ensure that everyone's talking about it. Readers should be warned that the following contains graphic, unsettling descriptions of Nigel Lythgoe's face.
Did you see the gigantic vagina on So You Think You Can Dance this week? No, we don't mean Nigel Lythgoe. The actual gigantic vagina. No, really, we fully understand that any TV show featuring so many close-ups of Nigel Lythgoe's great big mingey smug face might desensitise viewers to the sight of any female genitalia, but So You Think You Can Dance literally broadcast footage of a contestant's vagina this week. Or at least something close enough to ensure that everyone's talking about it. Readers should be warned that the following contains graphic, unsettling descriptions of Nigel Lythgoe's face.
Jon & Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon Equals, Um, Something
Jon Gosselin, this is your lucky day! From November 2, TLC will be removing you from Jon & Kate Plus 8 forever! You got your wish! From November, Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be renamed Kate Plus 8 and you'll be scrubbed from history forever. This is exactly what you wanted! No more cameras following you around all the time. No more media intrusion. No more European yacht parties. No more disproportionately sexy young girls who'll have sex with you just because you're on TV. Oh Jon Gosselin, we envy you. Or we can't wait for you to disappear from our lives forever. One or the other.
Jon Gosselin, this is your lucky day! From November 2, TLC will be removing you from Jon & Kate Plus 8 forever! You got your wish! From November, Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be renamed Kate Plus 8 and you'll be scrubbed from history forever. This is exactly what you wanted! No more cameras following you around all the time. No more media intrusion. No more European yacht parties. No more disproportionately sexy young girls who'll have sex with you just because you're on TV. Oh Jon Gosselin, we envy you. Or we can't wait for you to disappear from our lives forever. One or the other.
Big TV Ratings For Glee – A MUSICAL!
September is the month when hopeful nobodies dream of being the next Matthew Fox or Eva Longoria. This season there are some new faces staring down the precipice preparing for instant fame or instant coffee. Could the six Friends have known their fate when the pilot aired? One of them did – but that was later with the spin off. There are some key things to look out for that might help the success of a new show: A familiar face – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. A familiar crew – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. An established audience – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. You can see where we’re going here. Clearly, there is no science to what is popular and what is not.
September is the month when hopeful nobodies dream of being the next Matthew Fox or Eva Longoria. This season there are some new faces staring down the precipice preparing for instant fame or instant coffee. Could the six Friends have known their fate when the pilot aired? One of them did – but that was later with the spin off. There are some key things to look out for that might help the success of a new show: A familiar face – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. A familiar crew – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. An established audience – Worked with: Frasier. Not so much: Joey. You can see where we’re going here. Clearly, there is no science to what is popular and what is not.
The Emmy Awards: Big TV Love-In Update
Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It's only a shame that such wonderful nights out don't stretch into normal jobs. We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be.
Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It's only a shame that such wonderful nights out don't stretch into normal jobs. We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be.
X Factor Recap: Big Double Bill Action
And so it was the weekend when the big pulsating brains behind X Factor decided that they might as well do two shows in two days. That equals around three hours of hot singing action, plus judges comments. Dannii Minogue, fast receding into the background, has ceased to say anything of worth, and the occasional flashes to her still, eerie face have carved her a niche as the only subliminal judge on the panel. The other three still cast their important judgements, and Cheryl has now taken to the stage on at least three occasions to hug the weeping contestants, much like Mother Teresa would, had she ever been given the chance to get out of the slums to judge a singing contest instead. She's dead now, bless her. Has been for ages.
And so it was the weekend when the big pulsating brains behind X Factor decided that they might as well do two shows in two days. That equals around three hours of hot singing action, plus judges comments. Dannii Minogue, fast receding into the background, has ceased to say anything of worth, and the occasional flashes to her still, eerie face have carved her a niche as the only subliminal judge on the panel. The other three still cast their important judgements, and Cheryl has now taken to the stage on at least three occasions to hug the weeping contestants, much like Mother Teresa would, had she ever been given the chance to get out of the slums to judge a singing contest instead. She's dead now, bless her. Has been for ages.
Dollhouse Season 2: Terminators & Interracial Sex. Possibly.
Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse! It’s a whole lot of fun, with prizes to be won, it's the real crazy show where anything goes... Wait, no - that’s Pat Sharp’s Fun House. We always get the two confused. Anyway, Dollhouse - the hit US show about zombified (kinda) prostitutes (ish) who live in a spa (sort of) and have had their personalities stolen (OR HAVE THEY?) by an evil corporation (OR IS IT?), and are implanted with new ones (OR ARE THEY?), then hired out by rich perverts/pop stars/the FBI for weekly adventures (STILL WITH US?) - is returning for a second season. Summer Glau, the whey-faced Terminator from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is joining the cast, and the tone of the season will be 'sexually dark'.
Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse! It’s a whole lot of fun, with prizes to be won, it's the real crazy show where anything goes... Wait, no - that’s Pat Sharp’s Fun House. We always get the two confused. Anyway, Dollhouse - the hit US show about zombified (kinda) prostitutes (ish) who live in a spa (sort of) and have had their personalities stolen (OR HAVE THEY?) by an evil corporation (OR IS IT?), and are implanted with new ones (OR ARE THEY?), then hired out by rich perverts/pop stars/the FBI for weekly adventures (STILL WITH US?) - is returning for a second season. Summer Glau, the whey-faced Terminator from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is joining the cast, and the tone of the season will be 'sexually dark'.
