TV Gossip

Cameron Diaz To Hear ‘Sound Of Music’?

Cameron_diaz_sound_of_musichecklerspray has never really seen the point of musicals.

Disagree with us? Just sit down and watch a couple, for Chrissakes: garish, neon, sickening mug-fests in which the entire cast delight in jettisoning any sort of dignity in favour of prancing around and warbling about whatever colour hat they’re wearing.

We remain equally baffled, then, by the continual heralding of nightmare-via-projector ‘epic’ The Sound Of Music as some sort of wonderful cinematic masterpiece.

Therefore we reveal the following with some trepidation: original star Julie Andrews is recommending Cameron Diaz for the lead role in an upcoming theatrical version.

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Natalie Portman: Big Brother Contestant?

***LATEST BIG BROTHER ODDS! CLICK HERE***

CameraMore than any other of the previous five TV-gripped years, the middle months of 2005 are truly turning out to be the summer of Big Brother (DVDs).

First came the news that the BBC’s slightly dodgy Dr. Who (DVDs) revival would feature an episode in which glum Chris Eccleston (DVDs) stepped through those famous diary room doors. And now? Now rumours are spreading across the Bonza land of Australia that lovely young starlet Natalie Portman may be entering the Big Brother house.

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Big Brother 6: First Look

Drip drip. The details are leaking through.

CctvAnd don’t pretend you’re not interested. Is Big Brother lowest-common-denominator trash TV, wired and immersed in base-level voyeurism and mindless pseudo-celebrity? Damn right it is.

Are you still going to watch it anyway? Course you are.

The Sunday Mirror knows this all too well. Which is why the tawdry tabloid leapt at the chance to publish sneaky new murmurings about Channel Four’s upcoming summer of guilty pleasure…

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EastEnders: only one Moon brother getting the boot?

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Explosive scud missile information for anyone who still thinks EastEnders is worth half an hour of their time. Jake Moon is not, repeat NOT leaving the soap. Which is interesting, as he was apparently sacked several weeks ago.

Jake’s played by an actor (for those of you that aren’t sure) and he’s called Joel Beckett. More important to him is that some sneaky gossip was leaked to The Sun claiming he may actually to able to pay off his new Mini Cooper after all.

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Another crap sitcom for NBC?

There are three types of American sitcoms. First there are the huge, massively-rated ones that get shown at primePoker time in England. Think Friends or Frasier or Will And Grace.

Then there are the ones that are enormous in America, but get the shoved into strange timeslots here. For instance, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Everybody Loves Raymond.

Then there are the ones that nobody watches anywhere, so they get shoved on at 3am on ITV. Like Veronica’s Closet or Coach.

It remains to be seen what becomes of All In, NBC’s new poker sitcom starring Janeane Garofalo.

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Liam Neeson To Become Pope?

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The poor old dead fella hasn’t even been buried yet, but already TV people are seeing fit to greenlight papal projects - no doubt ‘inspirational’ movie-of-the-week-style fodder - left, right and centre.

Step forward, RAI Television: an Italian production company who are presently in talks with none other than Liam Neeson (you know, the guy you hire when Daniel Day-Lewis is too busy cobbling shoes or something).

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BBC To Resurrect Bob Marley (literally)

The BBC. They’ve done a lot of silly things over the years. Eldorado, for example. Fame Academy. That sitcom with the bloke from Minder that treated the nightmare of Alzheimers as a ‘bit of a laugh.’  Oh, and let’s not forget their most recent conquest: handing over a whole five-million English pounds to secure the services of official least-funny-man-alive (and that’s including Robert Mugabe) - Graham Norton.

And now they’ve excelled themselves. In a move of spectacular idiocy - hecklerspray is talking five-star, gold-award-winning calibre - the makers of a BBC 3 documentary about Bob Marley wrote a letter to the self-titled Bob Marley Foundation asking for an interview with the man himself…

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Sorry Doctor, Who Is Next?

The BBC production of Dr. Who has already seen it’s main star Christopher Eccleston resign from the prospect of a second series.  This comes only after the first episode has been broadcast and raises the question of the longevity of the series.  How many Doctors can they really go through?

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Teen Star Lindsay Lohan To Unleash ‘Divorce T.V’

Teen star Lindsay Lohan (her of cack-awful remake Freaky Friday and ok-in-a-quietly-disturbing-sort-of-way Mean Girls) has announced plans to take part in a reality TV show which would chart the ongoing progess of her parent’s divorce.

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Simon Says “Step up Security”

Simon Cowell the pop perpetrator behind horrible acts like Gareth Gates and Will Young is in fear of being assassinated. Surprisingly enough it is not due to the music but as a result of his participation in American Idol…

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