Top 10s
Who Wants To Hear Some Bad Accents? OK, So That’s Everyone…
As we all know, it's rude to insult the dead. They're dead. They can't hear what you're saying, and they can't be rude back. Plus, it's probably quite disrespectful, because, you know, they're dead. Come on. What kind of person are you? Anyway, the point is that we're not going to say anything rude about Heath Ledger's English accent in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, because he's dead, and it would be a cheap shot. Instead, we're going to list some other attempted accents, that may or may not be worse than Heath's, whilst kind of hinting that perhaps they were better. What we're not going to do is come out and say that his accent was totally rubbish. We're not that cruel. We would never say that. Ever. The man's dead. Here are some other appalling stabs at sounding English...
As we all know, it's rude to insult the dead. They're dead. They can't hear what you're saying, and they can't be rude back. Plus, it's probably quite disrespectful, because, you know, they're dead. Come on. What kind of person are you? Anyway, the point is that we're not going to say anything rude about Heath Ledger's English accent in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, because he's dead, and it would be a cheap shot. Instead, we're going to list some other attempted accents, that may or may not be worse than Heath's, whilst kind of hinting that perhaps they were better. What we're not going to do is come out and say that his accent was totally rubbish. We're not that cruel. We would never say that. Ever. The man's dead. Here are some other appalling stabs at sounding English...
Top 15 Most Badass Videogame Weapons
You know, here at Hecklerspray, we deplore violence. But even we cannot fathom why people get in such a flap about videogame violence - it's not real. Besides, the more time some sweaty kid spends locked up in his room playing Grand Theft Auto, the less time he is out on the street causing mischief. It also means he can satisfy his bloodlust within the four walls of his bedroom – just like certain other urges teenage boys get. And if he wants to beat some poor old lady to death in the street, so be it. It's only pixels after all. Nobody gets hurt.
You know, here at Hecklerspray, we deplore violence. But even we cannot fathom why people get in such a flap about videogame violence - it's not real. Besides, the more time some sweaty kid spends locked up in his room playing Grand Theft Auto, the less time he is out on the street causing mischief. It also means he can satisfy his bloodlust within the four walls of his bedroom – just like certain other urges teenage boys get. And if he wants to beat some poor old lady to death in the street, so be it. It's only pixels after all. Nobody gets hurt.
The Most Wonderful Pretend Prostitutes Of ALL TIME
Everyone knows that, in movies, it's tough being a woman. The roles on offer tend to only be those of kindly nuns, tearful wives silently rinsing cups in the sink, or unbelievable ball breakers. There is no real middle ground. Of course, one other role that we haven't mentioned yet is that of a wonderful prostitute. Everyone's played one, from Jane Fonda to Charlize Theron. So with that in mind, we thought it best to highlight the greatest on-screen hookers of them all.
Everyone knows that, in movies, it's tough being a woman. The roles on offer tend to only be those of kindly nuns, tearful wives silently rinsing cups in the sink, or unbelievable ball breakers. There is no real middle ground. Of course, one other role that we haven't mentioned yet is that of a wonderful prostitute. Everyone's played one, from Jane Fonda to Charlize Theron. So with that in mind, we thought it best to highlight the greatest on-screen hookers of them all.
Top 20 Greatest Ever Songs From Ads
Advertising – it’s the easiest job in the world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but coming up with a successful advert is not exactly brain surgery. Bit of sex, a lot of humour and a cracking song and you could sell vomit-coloured shoes to even the most discerning of fashion shoppers. We like to think we are immune to such obvious marketing tricks, but we’re not. Tampons are not exactly a regular on my shopping list. But give me an ad featuring Anna Friel in a skimpy top dancing to the Pixies or some cracking Motown track and it won’t be long before I’ll be queuing up for my sanitary towel fix.
Advertising – it’s the easiest job in the world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but coming up with a successful advert is not exactly brain surgery. Bit of sex, a lot of humour and a cracking song and you could sell vomit-coloured shoes to even the most discerning of fashion shoppers. We like to think we are immune to such obvious marketing tricks, but we’re not. Tampons are not exactly a regular on my shopping list. But give me an ad featuring Anna Friel in a skimpy top dancing to the Pixies or some cracking Motown track and it won’t be long before I’ll be queuing up for my sanitary towel fix.
Top 12 Most-Hated Premiership Footballers
Premiership footballers? Not exactly the most likeable bunch in the world, are they? Never has failure been rewarded so richly than in the top flight of English football. Apart from maybe the banking sector – but that's a whole different story. They turn up for a few hours of training four days a week, play a match at the weekend and sometimes in midweek and earn a fortune doing it. Sickening, isn't it? Jealous? You bet we are.
Premiership footballers? Not exactly the most likeable bunch in the world, are they? Never has failure been rewarded so richly than in the top flight of English football. Apart from maybe the banking sector – but that's a whole different story. They turn up for a few hours of training four days a week, play a match at the weekend and sometimes in midweek and earn a fortune doing it. Sickening, isn't it? Jealous? You bet we are.
The Top Twelve Non-Existent Movie Sequels EVER
Everyone loves a sequel, and everyone else loves a remake. After all, why should you have to get to know confusing new characters and unfamiliar situations when what you really want is a temporary lobotomy to shield you from the trials and banalities of actual life? It's far more comforting to see a slightly different version of something you already know about, like the recent TRANSFORMERS 2: HELL YES and STAR TREK: BUT FASTER. With that in mind, I've come up with a list of films for you to watch next summer while you sink into your air conditioned seat, overdosing on Minstrels. I hereby proudly present my Top Twelve Non-Existent Sequels...
Everyone loves a sequel, and everyone else loves a remake. After all, why should you have to get to know confusing new characters and unfamiliar situations when what you really want is a temporary lobotomy to shield you from the trials and banalities of actual life? It's far more comforting to see a slightly different version of something you already know about, like the recent TRANSFORMERS 2: HELL YES and STAR TREK: BUT FASTER. With that in mind, I've come up with a list of films for you to watch next summer while you sink into your air conditioned seat, overdosing on Minstrels. I hereby proudly present my Top Twelve Non-Existent Sequels...
Top 28 Red Dwarf Moments
Is the age of the sitcom really over? Purists would no doubt argue that it is; pointing to once beloved shows like Fawlty Towers and Blackadder having been killed off by the rise of single-camera shows like The Office or The Peep Show. We don’t bother getting bogged down in pointless debates like these, far better to spend many happy minutes reminiscing about what it was that made classic sit-coms like Red Dwarf so great in the first place.
Is the age of the sitcom really over? Purists would no doubt argue that it is; pointing to once beloved shows like Fawlty Towers and Blackadder having been killed off by the rise of single-camera shows like The Office or The Peep Show. We don’t bother getting bogged down in pointless debates like these, far better to spend many happy minutes reminiscing about what it was that made classic sit-coms like Red Dwarf so great in the first place.
Top 17 90s TV Girls Who Made You Come Of Age
Remember being a teenager in the 90s? Remember the TV shows we used to watch back then? The pattern was nearly always the same: the actors were all way too old, the morals were way too obvious and the girl next door way was too hot to be real… Great days, I’m sure we all agree. But who were the hottest hotties who made us really come of age back then?
Remember being a teenager in the 90s? Remember the TV shows we used to watch back then? The pattern was nearly always the same: the actors were all way too old, the morals were way too obvious and the girl next door way was too hot to be real… Great days, I’m sure we all agree. But who were the hottest hotties who made us really come of age back then?
