A few weeks ago, Editor Mof bombarded you with some of the greatest music from the history of video games. He steered clear of some of the more obvious titles, sometimes favouring good soundtracks over good games.
However, as technology in gaming marches on, leading us down ever more beautifully decorated linear corridors like lambs ripe for the slaughter, we’re led to ask- what are the greatest video game opening sequences? Those opening movies that draw you in like a moth to a flame or Justin Bieber to a fan’s vagina.
With the release of Harry Gregson-Williams’ collaboration with the London Philarmonic Orchestra which even manages to make a reworking of the Angry Birds soundtrack sound utterly epic, we started to think about the best opening “FMVs” that we had ever seen. The ones that really capture the essence of a game without giving too much away. So here’s ten of the best…
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The word retro is often misused. People tend to mean ‘old’, rather than something new, that looks vintage. That’s what retro is. Anyway, we got thinking about retro things and, in particular, cartoons.
That’s because cartoons are the best thing ever, ever, EVER.
Of course, there was a golden age of cartoons with Bugs Bunny, Tom & Jenny, Roadrunner et all, providing us with snappy jokes, immediate punchlines and amazing, hair-raising action! But cartoons didn’t stop being good. In fact, in recent years, some ‘toons have tried to recreate that vintage animation spectacle, capturing the spirit of getting hit in the face with a pan, or better yet, a complete and utter disregard for being remotely realistic. In short, let’s look at the best retro cartoons!
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THIS WEEK! ITS TIME! TO SING! SONGS FROM MOVIES! And probably not do a very good job at them. It’s ‘Movie Week’ everybody. That’s song from films that have been released in the old cinema.
Past year’s have had some truly terrifying performances, like Olly Murs waggling his penis to ‘Twist And Shout,’ Joe McElderry being generally closeted singing ‘Circle of Life’ and the Dreadward doing ‘Ghostbusters.’
There was also the dichotomy of awful and brilliance (and the resurgence of Louis Walsh’ famed Rulebook) when Jamie Afro (the awful) sang ‘Crying’ by Roy Orbison from the brilliantly nihilistic film Gummo. Needless to say Louis had no idea what Gummo was and almost lost his Lucky Charms over it, but what was stranger was Simon Cowell did know what it was. Perhaps he tried to buy the rights to remake the film with Eoghan Quigg as Bunny Boy. Or perhaps he knew that the most diverse film Louis Walsh has seen was ‘Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert,’ and wanted to really blow sand up his vagina.
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Whether you like it or not, the vast majority of the world is made up of people who play video games in one way or another. Yet bafflingly, they’re still seen as a lesser cousin to the pop culture’s big three of music, movies and TV.
This surely has to stop?
Anyway, with a lovely orchestral score of the Zelda theme doing the rounds at the moment, we thought we’d have a look at the best music that has featured on video games. There’s a dazzling amount to choose from… so which have we gone for? Over the jump to listen and disagree.
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When we make lists, they’re usually pretty easy to do. You just take your own opinion of something, prioritise it and throw it in an article without giving the consequences much thought. As such, we still have people arguing the toss (pun intended) over our ‘Top’ Sci-Fi babes & newscasters.
Of course, some lists aren’t that easy to come up with and require rigorously observed criteria in order to make them acceptable for the delicate eyes of our readers.
Our quest was long and arduous but we got there in the end.
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Apple geeks around the world were united in grief last week when Apple announced that Steve Jobs had suffered a fatal 404 error and couldn’t be restarted. Whilst a replacement for Steve Jobs had already been secured so Apple can dominate the market with sleek and flashy products that’ll require a replacement six months later, we don’t care about that.
It’s all about tie-in movie deals that are coming soon thanks to Sony snapping up the rights.
Total Film published a list of actors who they thought could play the billionaire tech lord throughout his reign at the helm of Appple. After Justin Timberlake successfully played Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and won countless awards due to his uncanny resemblance to everyone’s favorite social network poster boy, we figured we’d think about those who should really play Jobsy.
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With the news that Adele (her again!) is like, totes, going to write and release the theme for the new Bond film, us handsome devils at hecklerspray are going to take a look at the Top Ten Bond themes.
So get comfy, pour yourself a drink and get ready to agree with every single one of our choices.
Right?
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Americans just can’t seem to get enough British TV at the moment. Sherlock, Life on Mars, Antiques Roadshow, Outnumbered, Footballers’ Wives, Celebrity Fit Club, Richard Blackwood’s Renaissance Showdown – they’ll remake practically anything it seems, even British programmes that they’ve already remade.
First Britain created Pop Idol. Then America snapped it up. Then Britain created The X Factor (essentially the same show as Pop Idol – but with red). Now America has their very own X Factor (American Idol – but with red).
The Yanks love bad British TV so much that they’ve even snapped up Jeremy Kyle to present exactly the same show as the one that he presents here – but in the US! He might have lost the intense neon blue lighting that made his programme seem like it was being presented from within an ultraviolet fly killer and gained a really small washed-out picture of the New York skyline, but essentially it’s the same – the same types of people, the same completely-unqualified-to-comment-on-anything advice being dished out, etc. Oh, how things were different way back when.
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