Oh, Dennis Rodman – the Easter Island statue of the NBA and various reality TV shows. He’s not doing so well these days. In fact, he’s broke. He’s more broke than hecklerspray. People want dollars and pounds from Rodman because he had sex without a condom on.
Yep, Dennis is being asked to pay more than $800,000 in child support and he can’t afford to pay it.
Dennis’ ex-wife Michelle Rodman filed new papers this month, claiming The Worm owes $808,935 in unpaid child support for his 9- and 10-year-old children, with an additional $51,441 in unpaid spousal support. Alas, he’s a sad old drunk.
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If you watched Channel 4’s titillating documentary, “My Phone Sex Secrets,” then somewhere, in the back of your mind will undoubtedly be the notion that maybe you could breathe heavily down a phone at some random wanking pervert whilst being paid by the minute.
Well that’s what ex Everton goalkeeper Neville Southall thought, as he’s opened up his own premium rate phone line, there’ll probably be marginally less wanking but, given Neville’s rather robust frame, there is sure to be a lot of heavy breathing.
Curious fans or a very niche subset of the pervert community can now log on to asknevillesouthall.com and pay to receive either an email, costing £49, or a one hour long call from the great man, for a recession busting £99.
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Remember when Tiger Woods was really good at golf and had a computer game and all that jive? Then, he let his penis wander a little and everyone suddenly had an opinion on him? That was funny wasn’t it?
It looks like he’ll never recover from the moral outrage, which of course, is exactly what he deserves for being so appallingly talented.
Talented he may be, but mental also. According to his former coach, Tiger (who denied the world the headline of ‘Tiger Uppercut’ by never getting into a fistfight) was so nuts that he banned his ex from smiling.
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When you look at your parents, are you proud? If you are, you shouldn’t be. They gave birth to you for a start and that’s as big a failure as it gets. However, David Beckham’s children are very proud indeed.
They should be. They live in a number of gigantic houses and will never have to work a day in their pampered little lives.
And what are they thankful for? David’s footballing exploits? Victoria’s singing career? (Hahahah! HAHAHA!) No. They are most proud of their father’s groin area, complete with 20ft ballbag! Hurray for staring at your father’s genitals!
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Followers of pro-wrestling are invariably still washing their brains with industrial bleach after seeing the skinny-flick of Chyna and her very large nubbin being taken on in the ring by fellow grappler X-Pac.
Of all the celebrity sex-tapes, it really is up their in the harrowing league with Gene Simmons and Screech Powers.
Not that this is stopping our Chyna. She’s decided to make a career out of nudity and, having appeared in Playboy a couple of times, she’s now making a porno which is based on the Royal Rumble and features a Hulk Hogan lookalike with his lad out, ready for some Spunkamania. And yes, we’ve lost our lunch three times already, just thinking about it.
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Women! When you’ve stopped complaining about the negative, overtly sexual images of women in media, which breed an unrealistic body-ideal in young girls, we’d like to point you in the direction of David Beckham in his underpants.
See, ol’ GoldenNads has done a photoshoot for some undercrackers he’s flogging through dreary clothing bazaar, H&M.
A number of women have stopped worrying about the patriarchy long enough to admire Beckham’s bulge and sigh with feint arousal everytime they see it. So what does David have to say about it? Well, it doesn’t involve stuffing but it does involve his daughter.
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Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.
Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.
And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.
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You may think the Super Bowl is all about a sporting event, but you’re wrong. It’s all about television and, specifically, the adverts that litter the game. American Football is the perfect sport for the advertising exec.
Why?
Well, not only is America filled with vain, greedy sporting superstars who are willing to shill to the highest bidder, but American Football is also filled with stop/start action and, for every stop, there’s a chance for a television advert. To many, the commercials are the whole reason for tuning in. IMAGINE! Anyway, if you can’t be bother with all that sport cluttering up a perfectly good break, here’s the ten best Super Bowl big game commercials.
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