The Big Brother Gods – in association with delicious chocolatey snacks for fat buggers – have spoken. No sooner than Sam inevitably got kicked out of the Big Brother house, we said hello to Susie.

And Susie is… just the sort of fame-hungry idiot that normally gets into the Big Brother house, which is a bit disappointing. But still, Susie controls who gets nominated for eviction this week so at least we’ll have some horrifyingly toe-curling bum licking to keep us entertained as the Big Brother housemates, who are slowly learning that the Big Brother eviction mob hates everyone indiscriminately and getting more scared by the day, try and frantically curry favour with her.

So here’s part one of our weekly look at the Big Brother betting odds to win – for Grace, Lea, Lisa and Imogen, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower.com…

We can’t believe our eyes, ears or mind – an entire week has passed in the Big Brother house without any Big Brother walkouts. What the hell is going on? Let’s get someone out – and quick!

As announced on Tuesday night, the Big Brother housemates facing eviction on Friday are Nikki and Sam. You remember who Nikki and Sam are, don’t you? One has a dick, the other is a dick. Ahh, that’s right, you understand now. In a way, it’ll be a shame to split Sam and Nikki up – they’re a great double act. Nikki is convinced that – despite being a homosexual man in a pre-op transsexual’s body (or “man-beast” as Nikki charmingly calls him) – Sam fancies Nikki, as “he is a man, so he must.” Make the most of this partnership, we’ve only got a few more days of it.

So here are the Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Nikki and Sam, with betting odds provided by PaddyPower.com…

It tortures us to say it, but perhaps Sezer was better off in the Big Brother house. Now he’s out, Sezer has seemed meek and a bit more thoughtful about things, and his presence is definitely missed in the Big Brother house.

Because, Christ, nothing has happened on Big Brother in the last 24 hours. Pete’s impromptu was enough to get the obviously bored housemates dancing and hollering as if they were witnessing the birth of Christ instead of a mentally ill man hitting a saucepan with a stick. Big Brother has decided to liven things up… with a glorified spitting contest. oh, the excitement.

So here’s part two of this week’s Big Brother betting odds to win, for Sam, Aisleyne, Richard and Mikey, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower…

Could the Big Brother nominations have actually gone any better than they did? The pre-eviction fallout has been nothing less than spectacular as the egos of the nominated Big Brother housemates explode into a million pieces.

And what’s more, in every single one of the deranged screaming arguments that the Big Brother nominations caused, the housemates had to have them while dressed up as geeks; kitted out with dodgy wigs, giant glasses and nylon cardigans. But that’s just a sideshow, the big question is: who’s going to get evicted from Big Brother tonight? We know that we’ve placed a sneaky bet on the eviction, and now it’s your turn.

Here are the latest Big Brother betting odds for Lea, Richard and Sezer to get evicted tonight, with betting odds coming from PaddyPower.com…