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TV Reviews / Previews

X Factor Week 6 Review, Part 2 – THE OTHER BIT OF BOOT CAMP WHICH STILL MEANS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO US

by Sophie Hall

Are you prepared to embark on the second half of a VERY BIG DEAL? Yeah? A very very big deal, in the manner of Back to the Future 2, or when they let Leslie Grantham back on television for a while? Alright, fair enough. Nobody had time to prepare for that. This was the second [...]

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X Factor Week 6 Review, Part 1: BOOT CAMP! THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO US!

by Sophie Hall

God, it’s been an exciting week, hasn’t it? All that meth and all those Curly Wurlys you’ve been eating. Your excitement has literally burnt through your eyes so you can fully necessitate new levels of awesome and amazingness and degenerative myopia. Now to top it all off, it’s Boot Camp on the X Factor. It’s [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Divorce! Kissing! Bare Chests!

by Joanna Bolouri

Gosh, can you believe it’s been a whole week since we last vomited Soap news into your laps?  Well it has. Deal with it. We’re glad you didn’t bother washing those trousers as here it comes again you miserable lot! In Eastenders this week Masood tells Zainab he wants a divorce because that’s what you do when your wife [...]

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X Factor Week 5 Review, Part 2 – It’s The End Of The Auditioning Stages As We Know It

by Sophie Hall

On Sunday, we witnessed what came to be the last programme documenting the audition process of the underrated, revolutionary post-feminist Space Opera series “The X Factor 2011″. Hear that over there? That’s Ewan Mcgregor singing Your Song in a melancholic manner with an umbrella. See that over in the other direction? That’s your inescapable loneliness. But [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Sex! Marriage! Golf Memberships!

by Joanna Bolouri

We know that some all of our readers are unhinged enough to believe that the Land of Soaps is actually a real place, filled with real people who face real problems every day and as we’re really quite mischievous we’ll play along with this batshitcrazy idea. Besides, we’ve got nothing else to do since Sophie Hall put [...]

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X Factor Review Week 5: The Return of the X Factor Double Bill Part 1

by Sophie Hall

Welcome back to another double bill (Yes, ANOTHER DOUBLE BILL. That’s twice the amount of normal, regulated X Factor, twice in a row. Write it out in a graph, if that helps. You may as well. You don’t have any friends anymore, anyway) of The X Factor NEXT GENERATION. As always, we were presented with [...]

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X Factor Review, Week 4 – Part 2 Fast, 2 Furious

by Sophie Hall

Right. RIGHT. So, the X Factor is still on. Here are the opening titles. Here’s Dermot O Leary’s voice hurriedly aired in from Skype. It’s time to face the music. No, not time to face the music and dance. You are mistaken. Just time to face the music.  Just maintain eye contact with the music [...]

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X Factor Review, Week 4: The Deathly Hallows Part 1

by Sophie Hall

So, ITV1 have given all their money away to wife beaters and rapists. This is the new way. As such, this essentially means you have to watch X Factor twice, because they can’t afford to make any new TV programmes. Thank god Kelly Rowland agreed to work overtime due to how much she believes in [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: The Sex-Pesting Begins

by Jacki Evans

Just in case the return of the X Factor had left you in any doubt as to what season it is, the gods of reality TV have decided to point out to us all that it is September, and therefore it is Christmas. And they’ve done this through the medium of celebrities in sequins grinding [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Half Moons! Cold Feet! Tasers!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s Monday you morons! Time to find out exactly what your favourite made up  people are up to this week in Soapland! MADE UP? That’s right, it isn’t real but was invented by people called writers who, if the hecklerspray scribes are anything to go by are most likely soulless villains, sniggering at you from behind their laptops. [...]

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