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TV Reviews / Previews

Young Apprentice: Posh Harry Is Better Than You All

by Jacki Evans

Last night on Young Apprentice, Lord Sugar evidently had second thoughts about putting a bunch of teenagers in a house together, and decided to scare them all into NEVER HAVING SEX. No, he didn’t direct them all to lemonparty; he made them hang around lots of babies as they developed a product for the parent [...]

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Soap Spoilers: 17 Mojitos, Fake DNA And A Threesome

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s time to visit Soapland again as we know this is the only thing that makes your miserable existence bearable. We even caught Matthew Laidlow trying to bribe fellow writer Joanna Bolouri with cake and even violence in the hope she’d reveal the whereabouts of David Essex since his departure. He’s still recovering in hospital as she takes Soaps [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Robbie’s Cock Takes Over

by Jacki Evans

Ah, the Strictly Come Dancing Halloween special. The BBC’s annual chance to horrify the entire nation with overly made-up celebrities, horribly acted VTs and Craig Whatsit-Thingy taking part in the most obvious joke of all time and flying into the studio on a broomstick. October just wouldn’t be the same without it. But this year [...]

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X Factor Week 11 Review: The Khaki Horror Bitch Tableau

by Sophie Hall

Happy Halloween! Lots of love, The X Factor. And boy, what a massively inconvenient (or should we say SPOOKY) set of affairs the week offered up for Saturday Night’s show. These devastating (or should we say GHOULSOME!) happenings came in a threefold sequence throughout last week. 1. Kelly Rowland is for some reason angry and [...]

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Young Apprentice: The Future is Doomed

by Jacki Evans

Here at hecklerspray, if there’s one thing we hate more than people, it’s teenagers. Horrible, obnoxious little peach fuzz adolescents who stomp around being all arrogant, irritating and smelling of Lynx Africa. Strangely though, Lord Sugar doesn’t feel the same. In fact, he seems to love teenagers so much that he’s invited a bunch of [...]

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Soap Spoilers: Eastenders Special!!

by Joanna Bolouri

This week we’re dedicating the entire spoilers section to Eastenders! Why? We have no idea but there’s so much going on we literally wet our pants writing this. First up on Albert Square, the next story line destined to drag out for at least 17 years continues with Amira using her daughter Yasmin to manipulate ex [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: James Jordan Looks Like a Knob

by Jacki Evans

Ah, reality TV. Don’t you just love it? With its endless orchestrated arguments and the potential to watch celebrities make total and utter knobs of themselves, it’s one of the wonders of the modern age. And this week, Strictly lived up to all its monstrous reality to potential. Yes, after last week’s Broadway show, this [...]

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The X Factor Week 10 Review: A Million Rocks Songs Later And Here I Am

by Sophie Hall

So, what IS rock music? Well guys, “rock” was a musical movement invented by Simon Cowell in the mid-2000s. A genre that was ostensibly about dancing but was in fact a thinly-veiled allusion to sex culminating from 50s blues riffs and a 4/4 beat utilizing a verse chorus form. To further delve into this cultural [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Children! Sewing Machines! Sexy Time!

by Joanna Bolouri

Despite spending most of the week choosing fancy pants to wear to the Cosmo Blog Awards, fighting over who gets to shave that evening with the communal razor and  getting really, really drunk with happiness, we’ve still had time to hold Soap writers hostage in our bedsit and demand they tell us what’s happening in [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Save Russell Grant!

by Jacki Evans

Thanks to the joys of BBC budget cuts and misguided enthusiasm, this week was False Advertising Week on Strictly Come Dancing. The show claimed to be “going to Broadway”, but as the BBC has an annual budget of about 17p and they clearly can’t actually be arsed to fly a load of idiot celebrities to [...]

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