TV Reviews / Previews
Dancing With The Stars Loses Chuck Liddell, World Somehow Gets Over It
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
X Factor Recap: That’s Kandy Rain Gone, Then
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Good news - the X Factor live finals are back! Better news - Kandy Rain were kicked off. Jesus on a stick, they were crap. But, hey, at least X Factor is back, and keeping current, too - one week after the Strictly Come Dancing racism row, Dannii Minogue decided to kick off an X Factor homophobia row of her own. We can’t wait for Dancing On Ice to return now because, if the pattern holds, Philip Schofield might just say something horrifying about Albanians. But anyway, how did the X Factor contestants do? Let’s have a wonderful recap, shall we?
Dancing With The Stars: Everyone’s Out, More Or Less
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
X Factor: Here’s Your Final 12, Then. Woo.
Well, there it is - the 12 X Factor 2009 finalists have been revealed. This is what you’re stuck with until Christmas, folks. Over the course of three bone-crushingly tedious hours on Saturday and Sunday night, half of the remaining 24 X Factor hopefuls were dispatched. We lost some real contenders along the way - like Daniel Pearce and Nicole Lawrence - but we also lost that crying opera boy too, so it’s not all bad. So allow us to introduce you to the 12 finalists of X Factor 2009. One of them is going to win, you know. We’re all done for...
Well, there it is - the 12 X Factor 2009 finalists have been revealed. This is what you’re stuck with until Christmas, folks. Over the course of three bone-crushingly tedious hours on Saturday and Sunday night, half of the remaining 24 X Factor hopefuls were dispatched. We lost some real contenders along the way - like Daniel Pearce and Nicole Lawrence - but we also lost that crying opera boy too, so it’s not all bad. So allow us to introduce you to the 12 finalists of X Factor 2009. One of them is going to win, you know. We’re all done for...
TV Review: Dating In The Dark, Living
Do you have one of those face things? You do? Bit of a mess, is it? Like an angry bollock with all weird bits of hair and spots and stuff? Bet you've got a lovely personality though. Bit of a charmer, a wit, could have all the ladies in the world if it wasn't for the unfortunate looking hatstand on your shoulders. What you need is Dating in the Dark, a Living TV extravaganza, where the rules would only need explaining if you were a total idiot. So listen up. Three boys, three girls all say hello to each other in the dark. They then each choose someone to go on a 'date' with. In the dark.
Do you have one of those face things? You do? Bit of a mess, is it? Like an angry bollock with all weird bits of hair and spots and stuff? Bet you've got a lovely personality though. Bit of a charmer, a wit, could have all the ladies in the world if it wasn't for the unfortunate looking hatstand on your shoulders. What you need is Dating in the Dark, a Living TV extravaganza, where the rules would only need explaining if you were a total idiot. So listen up. Three boys, three girls all say hello to each other in the dark. They then each choose someone to go on a 'date' with. In the dark.
TV Review: Electric Dreams, BBC4, 29/09
"We'll always be together. Together in electric dreams." Or at least that's what renowned fibbers Giorgio Moroder and Philip Oakey would have us believe. Electric Dreams also happens to be the name of a new three-part series which, combined with some other technology focused programmes, creates the Electric Revolution season on what is the UK's last beacon of hope in this multi-channel revolving pit of despair, BBC Four.
"We'll always be together. Together in electric dreams." Or at least that's what renowned fibbers Giorgio Moroder and Philip Oakey would have us believe. Electric Dreams also happens to be the name of a new three-part series which, combined with some other technology focused programmes, creates the Electric Revolution season on what is the UK's last beacon of hope in this multi-channel revolving pit of despair, BBC Four.
TV Review: FlashForward, Five, 28/09
FlashForward is Channel 5's hot new US TV show that literally some people are talking about. The writers of FlashForward came up with the idea while cleaning their kitchen surfaces and thought to themselves, "Goodness! I wish I could fast-forward this arduous task!" A two minute pause followed. "Hold on...Flash kitchen cleaner, Fast-Forward.....FlashForward!" Handily, that’s also the premise of this new Lost-esque sort of sci-fi, but definitely action/drama, genre series.
FlashForward is Channel 5's hot new US TV show that literally some people are talking about. The writers of FlashForward came up with the idea while cleaning their kitchen surfaces and thought to themselves, "Goodness! I wish I could fast-forward this arduous task!" A two minute pause followed. "Hold on...Flash kitchen cleaner, Fast-Forward.....FlashForward!" Handily, that’s also the premise of this new Lost-esque sort of sci-fi, but definitely action/drama, genre series.
The Simpsons: Season 12 – DVD Review
When America's favourite yellow family The Simpsons (sorry liver-diseased The Johnsons of Massachusets) first appeared on our screens back in the 90s, who could have predicted that they would sustain twelve long seasons (and beyond...)? Yet while this series packs in the laughs, the guest stars and the characters we all know and love, there is something that is starting to smell a bit off in Springfield.
When America's favourite yellow family The Simpsons (sorry liver-diseased The Johnsons of Massachusets) first appeared on our screens back in the 90s, who could have predicted that they would sustain twelve long seasons (and beyond...)? Yet while this series packs in the laughs, the guest stars and the characters we all know and love, there is something that is starting to smell a bit off in Springfield.
