From the category archives:

Reviews

Batman: Dark Knight Rises Trailer Showcases Occupy Gotham City Movement

by Mof Gimmers

Dark Knight Rises or Batman 3. What are you calling it? Well, judging by the newly released trailer, you could justifiably call it Occupy Gotham. It is fair to say that Bruce Wayne is part of the 1%. Wisely, Christopher Nolan & Co have decided to tap into the most polite civil unrest yet and, [...]

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Review: Grand Theft Auto 3 on iOS

by Robin Darke

The Grand Theft Auto series is like a biblical dynasty, with more and more versions being released on what seems like an almost daily basis. Before long we’ll be able to chart our lives by where we are when the new GTA was released. Like how the elderly chart theirs by when JFK or Elvis [...]

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Review: Dizzy, Prince Of The Yolkfolk (Or, How The Royal Wedding Should’ve Gone Down)

by Robin Darke

What have you done today? Bet you’ve dragged yourself through your dreary life, bumping into other insignificant doldrumites, who clamour for their carcinogenic hit of Heat magazine to find out what that family of soulless prostitutes we call Kardashians are up to. Frankly, between us, you sicken us. Maybe you should try a little harder [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing Review: The Producers Get Evil

by Jacki Evans

Do you remember the days when standing ovations meant something? When the simple act of standing up and doing some clapping meant you’d seen something really truly fantastic? Yes? Well, last night’s Strictly Come Dancing was out to crush those memories. Crush them to pieces. Because last night wasn’t just any Strictly. No, it was [...]

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The X Factor Final Review: The One Where No More X Factor Ever Ever Happened Ever Again For a Bit

by Sophie Hall

Hello. Do you remember when you watched The X Factor final yesterday? Well, by an astonishing coincidence, so did we. And crikey, wasn’t it just totally and definitely and absolutely unequivocally passable? Yeah. Take that, H8ERS. *Dermot tongue roll* ALRIIIIGHT. It was in two halves, like the bloody brilliant darling that it is. Is it [...]

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Young Apprentice Review: Evil Maths Cocks It Up

by Jacki Evans

Maths. That most hated of subjects for millions of schoolchildren every year. It’s truly evil. And last night, it proved that its terrifying evil grip extends beyond the classroom and into reality TV, as Lord Sugar found himself having to fire four people at once because somebody somewhere had forgotten to match the number of [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing Review: There’s Almost an Upset

by Jacki Evans

This week on Strictly, it wasn’t just the quarter finals. Oh no, that wouldn’t be anywhere near exciting enough. So the producers came up with a hastily-thought-up-and-not-at-all-stolen-from-the-X Factor theme. And so we had Strictly Movie Week. Which was mostly an excuse for atrocious VTs featuring some truly, truly terrible acting. And some tights. Oh yes, [...]

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The X Factor Review; Week 16: Louis Walsh’s Wikipedia Search History, A Love Story

by Sophie Hall

We have two more weeks of The X Factor left, and then we can go and do something else in our brains. We know. It’s amazing. Amazing how it’s all gone so marrow-achingly slow isn’t it? Amazing how time can absolutely not shift for three months in the slightest sometimes. Amazing. A bit like how [...]

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Music Review: Das Racist, Live @ Ruby Lounge, Manchester

by Mof Gimmers

“Y’all got tickets to see the Stone Roses? What? Manchester doesn’t like the Stone Roses? Aren’t they from here? Ladies and gentlemen… our special guests, THE STONE ROSES! They’re all out back cryin’ now…” Das Racist aren’t your average hip hop outfit. Instead of bring the usual posturing that is seemingly obligatory in the world [...]

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Review: Desperate Scousewives (Or: Why Paul McCartney Will Now Affect A Boltonian Accent)

by Robin Darke

Derek Acorah, Colleen Rooney and Jennifer Ellison. What does these people all have in common? They’re all gigantic dicks. Dicks that are so bulbous that slightly less dense objects, like Abbey Clancy gravitate towards them and start to orbit them. Like the rest of the Sun and Pluto. (Did you know that the galaxy is [...]

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