Reviews
Moon – Blu-ray Review
Warning: Brace yourself for a sickening display of cinematic affection. As far as movies based on lunar missions go Moon is up there with the best of them. With only one man and a computer voiced by Kevin Spacey, this is a film that blows the dust away from the sci-fi genre.
Warning: Brace yourself for a sickening display of cinematic affection. As far as movies based on lunar missions go Moon is up there with the best of them. With only one man and a computer voiced by Kevin Spacey, this is a film that blows the dust away from the sci-fi genre.
Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Osbourne Bizarrely Makes The Final
So you're a Dancing With The Stars voter. Your actions will decide who makes the Dancing With The Stars final. You have four remaining dancers. One is Mya, perhaps the best celebrity dancer in the show's history. One is Donny Osmond, the beloved cultural icon. One is Joanna Krupa, a smouldering bikini model. And one is Kelly Osbourne, who is Kelly Osbourne. You have to eliminate one dancer, effectively stopping them from wriggling around a studio in a barely-there scrap of sequinned spandex the following week. And you choose to eliminate Joanna Krupa. Dancing With The Stars voters, you confuse us sometimes.
So you're a Dancing With The Stars voter. Your actions will decide who makes the Dancing With The Stars final. You have four remaining dancers. One is Mya, perhaps the best celebrity dancer in the show's history. One is Donny Osmond, the beloved cultural icon. One is Joanna Krupa, a smouldering bikini model. And one is Kelly Osbourne, who is Kelly Osbourne. You have to eliminate one dancer, effectively stopping them from wriggling around a studio in a barely-there scrap of sequinned spandex the following week. And you choose to eliminate Joanna Krupa. Dancing With The Stars voters, you confuse us sometimes.
Sunshine Cleaning – DVD Review
The concept of two sexy young women scrubbing the brain fragments off of a bathroom floor might sound to you like some niche Japanese Manga porn. Unfortunately it’s only another dysfunctional family indie drama. Sunshine Cleaning has the indie genre down pat; colourful titles, top actors, interesting backdrop and troubled characters. In fact, it is walking the line so straight that it borders on the mundane. It works hard to be the next indie breakthrough like its predecessor Little Miss Sunshine, but the story doesn’t have as much to do.
The concept of two sexy young women scrubbing the brain fragments off of a bathroom floor might sound to you like some niche Japanese Manga porn. Unfortunately it’s only another dysfunctional family indie drama. Sunshine Cleaning has the indie genre down pat; colourful titles, top actors, interesting backdrop and troubled characters. In fact, it is walking the line so straight that it borders on the mundane. It works hard to be the next indie breakthrough like its predecessor Little Miss Sunshine, but the story doesn’t have as much to do.
Hecklerspray’s Monday Music Mango: Stereophonics, Ronan Keating And N-Dubz
Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases. Another week, another Monday. Another soul-grinding day of pretending to like your colleagues. Even Dave in security, who will tell you all about his weekend's sexploits despite the whole office knowing he hasn't seen any ladybits in fifteen years. Well come ye here, settle down in front of the glowing slavemaster, and bury your face in this week's Mango...
Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases. Another week, another Monday. Another soul-grinding day of pretending to like your colleagues. Even Dave in security, who will tell you all about his weekend's sexploits despite the whole office knowing he hasn't seen any ladybits in fifteen years. Well come ye here, settle down in front of the glowing slavemaster, and bury your face in this week's Mango...
X Factor Recap: People Finally Realise How Rubbish Jamie Archer Is
Last night Jamie Archer was kicked out of X Factor, and our weekends just aren't going to be the same ever again. Admittedly that's because there's now going to be a space of two minutes during our weekends where we won't hunt our living room for some knitting needles to jam into our ears, but still. Jamie Archer left X Factor on Queen Night which, if you didn't know, also doubles as Deliberately Make Freddie Mercury Try To Curse Brian May From Beyond The Grave Night. But, hey, let's give you that X Factor recap you've been gasping for, eh?
Last night Jamie Archer was kicked out of X Factor, and our weekends just aren't going to be the same ever again. Admittedly that's because there's now going to be a space of two minutes during our weekends where we won't hunt our living room for some knitting needles to jam into our ears, but still. Jamie Archer left X Factor on Queen Night which, if you didn't know, also doubles as Deliberately Make Freddie Mercury Try To Curse Brian May From Beyond The Grave Night. But, hey, let's give you that X Factor recap you've been gasping for, eh?
Dancing With The Stars Ejects Aaron Carter, Thank God
Admit it - for a moment there you were worried that Aaron Carter was going to win Dancing With The Stars. It's OK, we were worried too. Just the thought of renewed public validation of Aaron Carter filled us with absolute dread. What if he was allowed to bring back his reality TV show House Of Carters? What if he got to re-release his album Aaron's Party (Come Get It)? What if he was driven so berserk by renewed fame that he started legally emancipating his parents again? Well, relax. Aaron Carter was kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. We're in the clear.
Admit it - for a moment there you were worried that Aaron Carter was going to win Dancing With The Stars. It's OK, we were worried too. Just the thought of renewed public validation of Aaron Carter filled us with absolute dread. What if he was allowed to bring back his reality TV show House Of Carters? What if he got to re-release his album Aaron's Party (Come Get It)? What if he was driven so berserk by renewed fame that he started legally emancipating his parents again? Well, relax. Aaron Carter was kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. We're in the clear.
Night at the Museum 2 – DVD Review
Night at the Museum 2 isn't a film content with itself. When it isn't vying for the title of most irrelevant sequel, it decides to take a trip to Ben Stiller's house for a mass celebrity circle jerk. This isn't just an excuse to make a mundane sequel, but for a bunch of overpaid comedians to make few laughs out of big ideas.
Night at the Museum 2 isn't a film content with itself. When it isn't vying for the title of most irrelevant sequel, it decides to take a trip to Ben Stiller's house for a mass celebrity circle jerk. This isn't just an excuse to make a mundane sequel, but for a bunch of overpaid comedians to make few laughs out of big ideas.
X Factor Recap: Lucie Jones Out, Jedward Rule Forever
X Factor has ditched Lucie Jones. And it hasn't ditched John And Edward. We feel dirty saying this, but we want to kiss Simon Cowell on his face. But anyway, Saturday's X Factor was Songs From The Movies night. And, in fact, it was the first episode of X Factor where all the contestants chose to perform numbers from the same movie - a 1983 VHS home recording of a feral street cat being repeatedly punched in the testicles. Or that's what it sounded like, at least. We might be wrong. Anyway, you came here for an X Factor recap, so let's give you one...
X Factor has ditched Lucie Jones. And it hasn't ditched John And Edward. We feel dirty saying this, but we want to kiss Simon Cowell on his face. But anyway, Saturday's X Factor was Songs From The Movies night. And, in fact, it was the first episode of X Factor where all the contestants chose to perform numbers from the same movie - a 1983 VHS home recording of a feral street cat being repeatedly punched in the testicles. Or that's what it sounded like, at least. We might be wrong. Anyway, you came here for an X Factor recap, so let's give you one...
