From the category archives:
Everyone has a soft spot for Scaletrix and slot car racing. There’s something incredibly satisfying about watching little cars veer off the track at the squeeze of a trigger. No, not in a JFK way you monster!
The dream, as a kid, is to make bigger, fancier tracks with increasingly faster cars.
Well, a group of brilliantly nerdy old men from Finland have made that dream a reality, with slot cars that go at 100mph. The video that accompanies this article is brain-frying.
Ever wanted to smell like one of Marvel’s finest? Of course you have. If you said you’d be a stinking liar. See what we did there? Stinking. It’s a joke! A funny joke! Oh, shut up a second and we’ll tell you how you can.
We’ve always longed for our lady friends to smell like Black Widow, and for our friends to smell like rejection, fear and Michael Fassbender: just like the X-Men.
The good people at Jads International, which sounds a lot like one of the stripping troupes that frequently visit the HS bedsit (Nads International) are bringing you a range of aftershaves that are themed around the main characters from the upcoming, and not at all Marvel’s last chance-saloon, The Avengers.
It must be hard being Pippa Middleton; trying to be a serious business woman and gallivanting around London, made all the more difficult because everyone knows you for being the one with the arse that stole your sister’s wedding day.
Poor, poor Pippa.
But a tabloid picture editor has come forward and announced that newspapers would be offered around 300 or 400 pictures PER DAY of the fitter Middleton, none of which are of her arse.
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Generally speaking, people don’t fly with out some kind of machine keeping them aloft. You know, like an airplane, a helicopter or an Acme rocket with a pair of roller skates. Non-generally speaking, some bat-winged guy flew 1000′ over Coney Island with tons of witnesses as reported by the New York Times.
Our initial thoughts are that it is a hoax, because all the witnesses say the thing was flying towards New Jersey. If this was true, it would have been flying anywhere but New Jersey.
Guess what tech fans! Those Chinese tinkerers have made another copy of an Apple trademark that’s bound to cause a stir, if not entirely offend fanboys and turtle neck wearers everywhere.
Having already found success with the SciPhone and a full sized replica Apple store, those crown princes of piracy, the Chinese, have now created THE ULTIMATE ACTION FIGURE, in the form of Apple founder Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs. ACTION figure. ACTION… Steve Jobs?
Donald Trump is a man of many talents; he pioneered the modern day comb over, he discovered that President Obama was actually a Senegalese street cleaner called Babacar Ousamane, causing him to resign from the Presidency and is rumoured to have been the man who killed Kim Jong-il, with a Chuck Norris style roundhouse.
But now, ‘The Donald,’ as he is known, has made his most audacious claim yet, he (and he alone) is personally responsible for the meteoric rise to fame of the 21st Century musical behemoth, Lady Gaga.
If you haven’t heard of rapper Drake, firstly, well done. Secondly, if you’re wondering what he’s like, then imagine a depressed divorcee listlessly cooing at a microwave meal for one, and you’re somewhere close.
Basically, Drake is the Michael Bolton of hip hop. He’s so lame that chocolate fireguards pity him, and we all know how useless they are.
Yet, somehow, Drake has amassed a number of fans. One of them has done something more ridiculously dim that even Drake himself would have to crack a smile. A very worried, OH MY SWEET JESUS ON CRUTCHES, IS THAT A MASSIVE TATTOO ON YOUR FACE?, smile. Wanna see? Course you do.
Sometimes, here on the hallowed hecklerspray, we like to include things that are barely newsworthy. We’re not talking about the pointless goings-on of celebrities and such, rather, things that are just plain odd.
Like what?
Well, when you see the bemulletted man who we’re calling The Detroit Whistler, you’ll know exactly what we mean. He can whistle like a champ! Not like Roger Whittaker though. This man seems to whistle from his Adam’s Apple. Watch. Widen your eyes.
