From the category archives:

TV News

All American Muslim TV Show Underlines How Much USA Hates Islam

by Mof Gimmers

Hey America! Muslims are awful, awful things aren’t they? Apart from Mohammed Ali. You like him don’t you? Dave Chappelle is alright too, huh? And Ice Cube. And you like all those bands on Atlantic Records, a company set up by maverick Ahmet Ertegun. Guess what? Massive Muslim. And Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. There’s LOADS of celebrity [...]

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Even Though You’re Ugly, Don’t Date Kelly Rowland

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Kelly Rowland didn’t have that nose and those boobs? And all that new hair too. She’s a transformed woman! As a result, she’s got herself a moderately successful solo career and some TV work. Alas, everyone was absolutely convinced that she was drunk all the time. Y’all. Y’ally, y’all y’all. And so, now [...]

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Little Mix And Tulisa Toast X Factor Success With A Kebab

by Matthew Laidlow

Hey you, quick, come out from behind the sofa. It’s all over, honest. After nearly four months, the auto-tuned X Factor singers won’t be making anymore feature length appearances on ITV to ruin your weekend. As we all know, Little Mix were voted as the winners. Or, it was all fixed by Simon Cowell for [...]

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Little Mix Can Supposedly Change People’s Lives

by Matthew Laidlow

Tomorrow is the final of the X Factor. It’s the one episode of the series that most of the general public tune-in for, apart from the audition rounds when we can laugh at delusional, frog-eyed members of the public. Other talent shows may spend the maximum of sixty minutes announcing their winner, but X Factor [...]

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Dr Phil Cut His Own Balls Off… No, Really

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Dr Phil McGraw? That’s right, he’s the talk-show host with the baldy little heid and the bruiser moustache. Well, Dr Phil doesn’t have any testicles. He is ball-free. He’s the owner of a flapping, empty sack. That’s because he cut his balls of himself. You heard. Dr Phil, that nice man who sometimes appears [...]

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The Muppets Are BRAINWASHING Our Children To Be Simpering Liberals!

by Mof Gimmers

Look. Look at those Muppet swine. Legless, non-blinking, fix-faced idiots. They are responsible for the moral decay of the entire world, thanks mostly to everyone being despairingly angry about the existence of Muppet Babies. Worse than the fact Kermit walks around naked all the time, is their awful, awful agenda. And thank God Fox is [...]

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Amy Childs Gets The Hump With Her Ex Castmates Slagging Off Her New Show

by Matthew Laidlow

God bless national stereotypes, without them, some comedians wouldn’t be able to fill the first twenty minutes of their stand-up gigs. The loveable Irish are regarded as potato munching drunks whilst the Welsh have a fixation with sheep for some reason. It would be difficult for TV producers to get away with creating shows that [...]

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McFly’s Danny Jones Pops His Genitals In Cup Because He’s Happy

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, we’re generally less than thrilled when one of our colleagues has any success that we weren’t part of. In fact we hate them and wish them nothing but sorrow on a daily basis. We generally despise anyone who seems to be doing well or progressing in their career because we’re entirely aware [...]

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What Links The Muppets To Italian Soft Core Pornography?

by Mof Gimmers

Those Muppets are pretty sweet, wholesome things aren’t they? They’re all cute and furry and funnier than a politician falling down a manhole. They’ll never get involved in any sex scandals or anything like that… not like stupid human celebs. BUT WAIT! WHAT’S THIS?! There’s a big ol’ link from The Muppets to soft core [...]

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Execution Of Civil Servants Imminent After Jeremy Clarkson’s Call To Arms

by Mof Gimmers

Civil servants should be very, very worried. Your time is up. You’re about to be killed. Hunted like mongrels and executed before your weeping families. It sounds fanciful, but it is definitely, definitely going to happen. That’s because the good people of Britain are unable to form opinions of their own, instead, they wait for [...]

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