From the category archives:

Sports News

Women! When you’ve stopped complaining about the negative, overtly sexual images of women in media, which breed an unrealistic body-ideal in young girls, we’d like to point you in the direction of David Beckham in his underpants.

See, ol’ GoldenNads has done a photoshoot for some undercrackers he’s flogging through dreary clothing bazaar, H&M.

A number of women have stopped worrying about the patriarchy long enough to admire Beckham’s bulge and sigh with feint arousal everytime they see it. So what does David have to say about it? Well, it doesn’t involve stuffing but it does involve his daughter.

Read More >>>

Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.

Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.

And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.

Read More >>>

You may think the Super Bowl is all about a sporting event, but you’re wrong. It’s all about television and, specifically, the adverts that litter the game. American Football is the perfect sport for the advertising exec.

Why?

Well, not only is America filled with vain, greedy sporting superstars who are willing to shill to the highest bidder, but American Football is also filled with stop/start action and, for every stop, there’s a chance for a television advert. To many, the commercials are the whole reason for tuning in. IMAGINE! Anyway, if you can’t be bother with all that sport cluttering up a perfectly good break, here’s the ten best Super Bowl big game commercials.

Read More >>>

Ah the Super Bowl, the pinnacle of sporting exuberance and over celebration. And as it’s Super Bowl (or Superb Owl if you prefer), we’ll be running a series of specials to whet your whistles. In the words of Stanley Ralph Ross, so immortalised by Jim McKay “The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat”. 

The unfortunate truth about the Super Bowl is that a large proportion of them have been crap, crap, one-sided affairs that were not so much the ultimate gladiatorial fight that is often portrayed, but more like that bit in Raiders of the Lost Arc where Indiana just shoots the sword wielding guy.

Anyways, regardless of the final outcome there have been some very good individual moments from the Super Bowl, here’s the best top 10 Super Bowl moments your stupid eyes will ever see.

Read More >>>

Matthew Broderick is a man with a surprisingly unremarkable film career.

We don’t mean he doesn’t make money- we’re sure he’s super-successful if judged by wealth. However, before you continue reading, grab a pad of paper and a pen. If, like us, you get hand-cramp from even writing your own name, then just open up a word document instead.

Now make a list of all the Matthew Broderick films of which you can remember. Done that? Now cross out all the ones that weren’t artistic travesties. Come on, be honest with yourselves. By the way if you didn’t cross out Godzilla it’s probably best if you cease this exercie immediately.

Read More >>>

The good looking version of Herman Munster, George Clooney, has used his charm to get a lot of things in his life. If you believe the rumours, his charm has worked best on throwing people off the scent that he might be gay.

We’ve no idea if he’s gay or not and don’t rightly care. That’s because he’s a massive slag either way.

How so? Well, what happened to you when you found out you didn’t get tickets for some stupid event at the London 2012 Olympics? You basically looked into your lap, dejectedly, and thought ‘that’s that then’. Clooney is a star though. He can slag it up in the media asking for a freebie.

Read More >>>

The year 2012, what exactly does it mean to you? For enthusiasts of time, calendars and dates, 2012 means a leap year! That’s right, it isn’t one of those run of the mill 365 day occasions. Instead, we get an extra day that normally doesn’t exist! Roll on February 29th!

And this year, thuggish England football fans will be getting excited as they prepare to jet off to Poland and the Ukraine to witness our lads (© The Sun) losing in Euro 2012.

But the mass global event we’re all thoroughly bored of hearing about is the 2012 Olympics. Like a school sports day on a grander scale, millions from around the world will get to see London make a complete mess of it. With the help of an all singing, all dancing and all wrinkled Paul McCartney.

Read More >>>

Hey! America! You know that song you have that goes “Oh say can you see? By the dawn’s early light! Da-da-dum, dee-dee-dee, the actor called Rocket Redglare’s arse glows!” or whatever it is? Well, once again, it will be sung at a major sporting event where you don’t compete against anyone else in the world!

And who might be fluffing the lyrics to it at Super Bowl XLVI?!

Why, it’s the regrettably nice Kelly Clarkson who is very, very difficult to hate – unless you listen to her music.

Read More >>>

So, What’s All This Hulk Hogan Gay Business Then?

by hecklerspray staff

For years now, butch gay men have been modelling themselves on Hulk Hogan. Handlebar moustache? Check. Tight t-shirt with the sleeves cut off? Check. Flings with musclebound studs called Brutus Beefcake? Check… Wait, what? Yes, according to Hogan’s estranged wife Linda, Terrance Gene ‘Hulk Hogan’ Bollea had an affair with the aforementioned Mr Beefcake, a.k.a. [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Mike Tyson To Sings The Girl From Ipanema With His Lisp [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

We live in a world where, astonishingly, Mike Tyson is actively encouraged to sing. And not any old tune. We live in a world where Mike Tyson is encouraged to sing The Girl From Ipanema. We’ve all been waiting for a boxer to go Bossa Nova haven’t we? Better yet, is that Mike Tyson is [...]

2 comments Read more >>>