From the category archives:

News

Paris Jackson And Justin Bieber To Shag With Unswerving Predictability

by Mof Gimmers

When Michael Jackson was alive (he’s very much dead these days), he ended up getting married to Lisa Marie Presley. It was weird. The King Of Pop shacking up with The King Of Rock ‘n’ Roll’s daughter. Mixing pop royalty like that… it’s incestuous and odd. And guess what is going to happen? That’s right, [...]

10 comments Read more >>>

Demi Moore’s 911 Emergency Call Is Early Contender For Christmas No1

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Demi Moore’s suffering and being rushed to hospital after seizures from alleged narcotics, is simply not enough for us. The fact she’s so unhappy is fine and all, but we need more. Like what? We all need to hear her cry for help. It’s not good enough knowing that she was [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Michael Jackson’s Glee Episode Is Imminent (Don’t Let Him In A School!)

by Matthew Laidlow

Americans have loads of stuff that’s essentially just for them, but occasionally seeps into the cultural mindset of others. Even though its just rounders for men, they call it the “world series” even though only American teams compete. Then there’s the general extra injection of happiness and excitement that all Americans possess. Even going to [...]

9 comments Read more >>>

Kate Moss Hates Twitter (Doesn’t Like Interacting With The Non-Famous)

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Kate Moss. What do you do with your life? You stand around in a variety of clothes, which people hang off your bony frame and generally lord it up like you have an actual talent other than your genetic make-up. Despite a clear lack of anything worthwhile, other than being sufficiently bland enough [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Who Wants To See Some Slot Cars Going At 100mph? [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

Everyone has a soft spot for Scaletrix and slot car racing. There’s something incredibly satisfying about watching little cars veer off the track at the squeeze of a trigger. No, not in a JFK way you monster! The dream, as a kid, is to make bigger, fancier tracks with increasingly faster cars. Well, a group [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Is Justin Bieber Harvesting The Organs Of Children?

by Mof Gimmers

There’s always been something incredibly sinister about Justin Bieber. Anyone who is paraded around like a prepubescent monkey eunuch should fill any right-minded person with the dread of a thousand bailiffs. The very fact no-one seems to mind a performing menstrual period is of great concern, especially given that Bieber is clearly using his power [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Lindsay Lohan Ran A Woman Over And ‘Anguish’ Ensued! Hurray!

by Mof Gimmers

Aah! Lindsay Lohan is the perfect hecklerspray celebrity. She takes one-step forward, or one step back, and she’s in trouble. It doesn’t matter where she is, or who she’s with – she’s always on the brink of being in some kind of bother. Now, after a couple of years of jewel thievery, alleged assault, drug [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Lana Del Rey: Doesn’t Really Care About Music At All, But Expects You To

by Mof Gimmers

Years ago, a smarter scribe than this wrote of ‘air-conditioner music’, which is to say, music stopped putting something into a room and instead, started trying to remove it. And removing everything out of a room, apart from the earless saps who buy it, is Lana Del Rey, the most tepid popstar in history. She’s [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Simon Cowell Wants Cheryl Cole And Tries To Reinvent The Scratch DJ

by Mof Gimmers

Simon Cowell has made stars of boybands, Chico, Susan Boyle and a variety of completely forgettable singers like Steve Brookstein, Leon Thingy and DooDah Sneddon. Possibly. We’re get all those talent shows confused these days. So what’s his next move? Well, apart from publicly wooing Cheryl Cole again (presumably Kelly Rowland can’t be bothered saying [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Rihanna Gives You Another Reason To Hate Her

by Lady Robotnik

Though famous for making excellent life choices, Rihanna has made one more – by getting a set of hideous tattoos. Most female celebrity tattoos look like they were purchased with a Groupon voucher and inked by Micheal J Fox post-Parkinson’s. Rihanna’s are no exception. The never-knowingly-dressed starlet has got the words ‘Thug Life’ inked on [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →