News
Spider-Man 4 To Also Be Catwoman 2, As Villains Go
Things are about to get awkward down at the Hall of Justice. Not only does everyone have to pretend not to notice the strange sexual tension between the Wonder Twins, but Apache Chief has taco farts and the rec room's been cleared out. And on top of that - somehow Spider-Man's started to date Catwoman and now Batman spends his waking hours crying into a couch cushion. Heroes have feelings too, you know. Now before any super-nerds start balking about colliding universes, let us state we know Spider-Man and Catwoman could never be together. Sam Raimi on the other hand...
Things are about to get awkward down at the Hall of Justice. Not only does everyone have to pretend not to notice the strange sexual tension between the Wonder Twins, but Apache Chief has taco farts and the rec room's been cleared out. And on top of that - somehow Spider-Man's started to date Catwoman and now Batman spends his waking hours crying into a couch cushion. Heroes have feelings too, you know. Now before any super-nerds start balking about colliding universes, let us state we know Spider-Man and Catwoman could never be together. Sam Raimi on the other hand...
Carrie Prejean Ashamed About Sex Tape, For Some Reason
This Carrie Prejean sex tape has put the cat among the pigeons. By 'cat' we obviously mean 'oddly fluorescent bigot'. And by 'pigeons' we mean 'sex tapes'. That's not a very good analogy, is it? Anyway, it doesn't matter because Carrie Prejean has finally confirmed the existence of the sex tape that recently scuppered her plan to sue the Miss California organisers for a million dollars. What's more, Carrie Prejean says that making the sex tape was the worst mistake of her life. And considering her narrow-minded views on homosexuality, wonky tits, bright orange skin and unnecessarily large hair, that must be one massive mistake. Dirty.
This Carrie Prejean sex tape has put the cat among the pigeons. By 'cat' we obviously mean 'oddly fluorescent bigot'. And by 'pigeons' we mean 'sex tapes'. That's not a very good analogy, is it? Anyway, it doesn't matter because Carrie Prejean has finally confirmed the existence of the sex tape that recently scuppered her plan to sue the Miss California organisers for a million dollars. What's more, Carrie Prejean says that making the sex tape was the worst mistake of her life. And considering her narrow-minded views on homosexuality, wonky tits, bright orange skin and unnecessarily large hair, that must be one massive mistake. Dirty.
Jennifer Lopez Sex Tape: Kept Away From You Perverts
Let's play Good News/ Bad News. Bad news: there's a Jennifer Lopez sex tape. Good news: it doesn't star Ben Affleck. Bad news: it does star Jennifer Lopez. Good news: you won't be seeing it any time soon. And it might not be a sex tape. And it might not even star Jennifer Lopez. But Jennifer Lopez has decided to get it blocked anyway, just on the off-chance that it really does contain depictions of her vast posterior jiggling up and down on top of a bloke somewhere. Just to reiterate, though, it definitely doesn't star Ben Affleck. So you might lose your dinner by watching it, but at least you'd keep your eyesight.
Let's play Good News/ Bad News. Bad news: there's a Jennifer Lopez sex tape. Good news: it doesn't star Ben Affleck. Bad news: it does star Jennifer Lopez. Good news: you won't be seeing it any time soon. And it might not be a sex tape. And it might not even star Jennifer Lopez. But Jennifer Lopez has decided to get it blocked anyway, just on the off-chance that it really does contain depictions of her vast posterior jiggling up and down on top of a bloke somewhere. Just to reiterate, though, it definitely doesn't star Ben Affleck. So you might lose your dinner by watching it, but at least you'd keep your eyesight.
Aerosmith Split: Steven Tyler Hangs Up On His Wrinkly Friends
This Aerosmith split is ugly, and not just because everyone involved in it looks like a voodoo doll made from medical waste. No, it's the bitterness that's ugly. Steven Tyler has only been out of Aerosmith for a few days, and the rest of the band are already lining up to badmouth him as much as possible. Just yesterday Joe Perry complained to a radio station that Steven Tyler had recently hung up on him midway through a phonecall. And that's just the start. We also heard that Steven Tyler always steals the Coco Pops whenever the band buys a Kellogg's Variety Pack, thinks that Joe Perry's mum is a slag and once drew a cock and balls on the back of Brad Whitford's bomber jacket in Tipp-Ex. The man is evil.
This Aerosmith split is ugly, and not just because everyone involved in it looks like a voodoo doll made from medical waste. No, it's the bitterness that's ugly. Steven Tyler has only been out of Aerosmith for a few days, and the rest of the band are already lining up to badmouth him as much as possible. Just yesterday Joe Perry complained to a radio station that Steven Tyler had recently hung up on him midway through a phonecall. And that's just the start. We also heard that Steven Tyler always steals the Coco Pops whenever the band buys a Kellogg's Variety Pack, thinks that Joe Perry's mum is a slag and once drew a cock and balls on the back of Brad Whitford's bomber jacket in Tipp-Ex. The man is evil.
Awesome or Off-Putting: (Video) Finally – Undeniable UFO Proof That You Can Take All The Way To The Bank (Unless You Can’t)
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. Roswell's big problem is it's all word of mouth. There are these tremendous claims of what went on there, but why believe a low-brow farmer? The same goes for Kecksburg. Sure, we've heard the military hauled out a tarp-covered something-or-other that was shaped like a gigantic acorn, but show us the pictures. That said, there's finally a UFO-crash discovery that was caught on film - and we owe it all to commie-riddled Russia!
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. Roswell's big problem is it's all word of mouth. There are these tremendous claims of what went on there, but why believe a low-brow farmer? The same goes for Kecksburg. Sure, we've heard the military hauled out a tarp-covered something-or-other that was shaped like a gigantic acorn, but show us the pictures. That said, there's finally a UFO-crash discovery that was caught on film - and we owe it all to commie-riddled Russia!
Joe Jackson Needs Some Pocket Money From His Dead Son
Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them. From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we’ve all been there. Well that’s unless you’re a weird test-tube child and you were grown for scientific amusement. Sadly, not all relationships between parents and their offspring can go smoothly. There can be a variety of reasons of this. In the case of Michael Jackson he objected to his dad Joe Jackson whipping the stuffing out of him. But time heals all and love conquers emotions. Or, if your son has raked in as much posthumous money as Michael Jackson, then time means that daddy gets an easy payday.
Parents, we all have them. And we all have memories of them. From the time you crapped yourself in a busy shopping centre to when your father started using swearwords in full conversation. Face it, we’ve all been there. Well that’s unless you’re a weird test-tube child and you were grown for scientific amusement. Sadly, not all relationships between parents and their offspring can go smoothly. There can be a variety of reasons of this. In the case of Michael Jackson he objected to his dad Joe Jackson whipping the stuffing out of him. But time heals all and love conquers emotions. Or, if your son has raked in as much posthumous money as Michael Jackson, then time means that daddy gets an easy payday.
A Christmas Carol Reminds Weekend Box Office Of Death
Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho ho ho! What did you get for Christmas? Anything good? Did it snow? Ho ho ho! Ho ho... hang on a minute. It isn't Christmas. It isn't anywhere remotely near Christmas. It's barely November. We haven't even started to build up our reserve of goodwill towards all men yet. In fact, we still think most men are wankers. So why is A Christmas Carol the number one movie at the weekend box office? Because it's not very good and everyone's trying to get it out of the way early so that it doesn't bugger up everyone's Christmas? Oh, right.
Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho ho ho! What did you get for Christmas? Anything good? Did it snow? Ho ho ho! Ho ho... hang on a minute. It isn't Christmas. It isn't anywhere remotely near Christmas. It's barely November. We haven't even started to build up our reserve of goodwill towards all men yet. In fact, we still think most men are wankers. So why is A Christmas Carol the number one movie at the weekend box office? Because it's not very good and everyone's trying to get it out of the way early so that it doesn't bugger up everyone's Christmas? Oh, right.
Steven Tyler Leaves Aerosmith, But It’s Not All Good News
It's weird when old people get divorced, isn't it? You're both going to be dead soon, so what's the point? Which brings us to Aerosmith. Despite having a combined age of the highest number you can possibly think of, Aerosmith have just decided to split up. Actually, no, that isn't strictly true - Steven Tyler has decided to leave Aerosmith to concentrate on something called 'Brand Tyler', something that - if Steven Tyler's appearance in the movie Be Cool is anything to go by - will be the very worst thing ever created by a human being in all of history. As for Aerosmith? They might carry on without him. Idiots.
It's weird when old people get divorced, isn't it? You're both going to be dead soon, so what's the point? Which brings us to Aerosmith. Despite having a combined age of the highest number you can possibly think of, Aerosmith have just decided to split up. Actually, no, that isn't strictly true - Steven Tyler has decided to leave Aerosmith to concentrate on something called 'Brand Tyler', something that - if Steven Tyler's appearance in the movie Be Cool is anything to go by - will be the very worst thing ever created by a human being in all of history. As for Aerosmith? They might carry on without him. Idiots.
