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The Spray Q&A: Mark Ronson

by Stuart Heritage

Mark Ronson is one of the most highly sought-after producers around, having helped push Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse into the big league; plus Mark Ronson is the only DJ around who can apparently froth Tom Cruise into a frenzy of finger-guns.

Later this month Mark Ronson releases Version, his eagerly-anticipated follow-up to his Ghostface-starring, Mos Def-starring, Saigon-premiering debut Here Comes The Fuzz. And Version is totally different animal – all the hip-hop stylings have been replaced by Motown horns and more soul than you can fire a gun at. By the way, Mark Ronson called the album Version because it’s a covers album. Covers of The Kaiser Chiefs and The Zutons. Surprisingly, Version is a bloody good listen.

We briefly caught up with Mark Ronson to discuss Curly Wurlies, gansta mispronunciation of his name and Foreigner. Because Mark Ronson’s Dad was in Foreigner…

Mark Ronson is one of the most highly sought-after producers around, having helped push Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse into the big league; plus Mark Ronson is the only DJ around who can apparently froth Tom Cruise into a frenzy of finger-guns. Later this month Mark Ronson releases Version, his eagerly-anticipated follow-up to his Ghostface-starring, Mos Def-starring, Saigon-premiering debut Here Comes The Fuzz. And Version is totally different animal - all the hip-hop stylings have been replaced by Motown horns and more soul than you can fire a gun at. By the way, Mark Ronson called the album Version because it's a covers album. Covers of The Kaiser Chiefs and The Zutons. Surprisingly, Version is a bloody good listen. We briefly caught up with Mark Ronson to discuss Curly Wurlies, gansta mispronunciation of his name and Foreigner. Because Mark Ronson's Dad was in Foreigner...
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Listen To The Pharoahe Monch Rehab Remix

by Stuart Heritage

By now, there’s an alarmingly huge chance that you’ll have been pummelled with Amy Winehouse singing Rehab with such annoying regularity that you’d probably rather mutilate your genitals with a selection of office stationary than hear it again.

So we’re giving you the chance to listen to Rehab by Amy Winehouse. Wait, come back – it’s Amy Winehouse singing Rehab with criminally underrated rapper Pharoahe Monch. And Pharoahe Monch’s opening verse is dazzling, namechecking just about everyone hecklerspray has ever written about over the last year – Lindsay Lohan is in there, Nicole Richie is there, Anna Nicole Smith is there, Britney Spears is there… Pharoahe Monch, we’ll keep you a desk warm if you ever fancy a job with us.

Listen to the Pharoahe Monch remix of Rehab by Amy Winehouse now

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Country Singer Billy Joe Shaver Shoots Varmint In Cheek

by Stuart Heritage

If you’re like us, you probably thought that the country and western scene was full of ridiculous song titles, misplaced patriotism and institutional inbreeding; but now – thanks to country singer Billy Joe Shaver – we can add ‘carpark cheek-shooting’ too.

Billy Joe Shaver – the man behind bewildering hits like Ain’t No God In Mexico, America You’re My Woman and Yester Tomorrow Was Today – surrendered himself to the police yesterday after a saloon gunfight at the weekend left a man with a big hole where his cheek should be. It’s unclear what Billy Joe Shaver’s fate will be after copping to the shooting, and Billy Joe Shaver’s lawyers were too busy taking part in a banjo duel with a retarded boy in dungarees to comment on the matter. We assume.

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Listen To The New Client Album Heartland Now

by Stuart Heritage

Electropop is good, and we’re pretty sure that nobody is doing electropop better than Client at the moment – thus, by default, Client are good. And on the basis on the new Client album Heartland, you’d be entirely wrong to disagree with us.

Client – or Kate Holmes, Sarah Blackwood and Emily Mann as they’re individually known – have really come up with the goods on Heartland. Produced by Youth and some bloke who used to knob-twiddle for New Order, Heartland sees Client working their chosen genre over from just about every angle – the glacial cool of the title track, Pet Shop Boys drama of Lights Go Out, humongous bass throb of It’s Not Over and sort of Clothes Show theme-tune soundalike of Drive are all equally impressive. Plus Client still manage to squeeze a cover of Zerox by Adam And The Ants into Heartland, which is no mean feat. But instead of yammering on about Heartland by Client like a bunch of daft idiots, we’re just going to point you in the direction of a nifty Client Heartland album stream. Whack it on at work and impress your mates with all your Peter Crouch-style robodancing.

Listen to Heartland by Client now

Electropop is good, and we're pretty sure that nobody is doing electropop better than Client at the moment - thus, by default, Client are good. And on the basis on the new Client album Heartland, you'd be entirely wrong to disagree with us. Client - or Kate Holmes, Sarah Blackwood and Emily Mann as they're individually known - have really come up with the goods on Heartland. Produced by Youth and some bloke who used to knob-twiddle for New Order, Heartland sees Client working their chosen genre over from just about every angle - the glacial cool of the title track, Pet Shop Boys drama of Lights Go Out, humongous bass throb of It's Not Over and sort of Clothes Show theme-tune soundalike of Drive are all equally impressive. Plus Client still manage to squeeze a cover of Zerox by Adam And The Ants into Heartland, which is no mean feat. But instead of yammering on about Heartland by Client like a bunch of daft idiots, we're just going to point you in the direction of a nifty Client Heartland album stream. Whack it on at work and impress your mates with all your Peter Crouch-style robodancing. Listen to Heartland by Client now
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Kate Moss & Pete Doherty Spaz Around On YouTube

by Stuart Heritage

We’ve often wondered what Kate Moss and Pete Doherty – the world’s most in-demand supermodel and a sort of dirty busker – get up to behind closed doors, but now that a video of Kate and Pete gooning around is on YouTube we can wonder no more.

And what do Kate Moss and Pete Doherty get up to behind closed doors? Well, if this new YouTube video is in any way representative, it seems that they live the life of a normal couple – Pete Doherty mongs about on a guitar all day and Kate Moss only interrupts to call Pete things like “Liar,” “Fantasist,” “Cunt” and “Cuntface” while kicking him in the head from time to time. We’ve genuinely never wanted to be Kate Moss more.

Oh, the Moss/Doherty video is below, if you’re interested.

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Classical Brits Old Man Face-Off: Sting Vs Paul McCartney

by Stuart Heritage

When you become a successful popstar, you’ll inevitably come to resent the basic rudimentary nature of pop songs and decide to show everyone how talented you are by masturbating out an unwanted classical album, just like Paul McCartney and Sting.

But Paul McCartney and Sting are still famous enough to prick up people’s ears when they record classical albums, and it has been announced that they’ve both been rewarded by picking up nominations for the forthcoming Classical Brit Awards. Paul McCartney’s classical work I Love My Dead Wife More Than The One That’s Only Got One Leg and Sting’s Lute-Wank A-Go-Go have both picked up nominations in the new Perhaps People Will Care About The Classical Brits If We Nominate Someone That People Have Actually Effing Heard Of Classical Brits category.

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hecklerspray’s DIY Glastonbury Guide

by Matthew Laidlow

Yesterday, the entire population of the UK all attempted to try and get their paws on one of 137,500 tickets for Glastonbury, with the traditional speech made by some smug bastard from BT remarking on how their new phone system could handle the barrage of calls from punters.

Of course, the phone system crashed seven seconds after lines opened, leaving many in a state of panic. Despite this, Glastonbury sold out in a matter of hours as people repeatedly refreshed their web page and drew blood from punching the redial button on the phone. Many were left disappointed without tickets. But thanks to hecklerspray’s handy guide, you can experience the festival yourself for half the price – and minus the hippies too!

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Our Friends Medusa Piss On Russell Brand’s Fish Statue

by Stuart Heritage

Of all the bands we’ve had on our MySpace Trawl feature, none have captured our affections quite as much as deranged rockers Medusa – and now Medusa are in a national newspaper for doing something very weird indeed to Russell Brand’s gnome.

Buy a copy of today’s Sun newspaper and – right there on page three – there’s Medusa, determined to maintain the fame they acquired by being part of our MySpace Trawl feature by, well, having a piss on a statue of a trout belonging to axed MTV presenter Russell Brand and then stealing his garden gnome. Fortunately Medusa’s Julian Molinero has emailed hecklerspray to give his side of this whole Russell Brand statue-pissing incident:

Russell Brand was gonna set about helping us to get signed a couple of months back, and organised us to play privately at his house for some of his friends, the band got a bit wasted afterwards though, I don’t remember too much that clearly, but the bass player Amadeus De La Fontaine had a piss on what turned out to be a ridiculous porcelain statue of a trout wearing pyjamas. And Russell went psycho (perhaps drug related? Probably not to be honest, just stress) and he started lecturing us about how much things cost. The other people that were there seemed to be homosexual hairdressers and didn’t appreciate it, he told us the deal was off. I stole a garden gnome on the way out.

God bless Medusa for getting in touch with their version of events – after all, having a piss on Russell Brand’s pyjama-fish statue and then pinching his gnome is the new rock and roll, we heard.

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Russell Brand’s Gnome Wrecker – The Sun

Of all the bands we've had on our MySpace Trawl feature, none have captured our affections quite as much as deranged rockers Medusa - and now Medusa are in a national newspaper for doing something very weird indeed to Russell Brand's gnome. Buy a copy of today's Sun newspaper and - right there on page three - there's Medusa, determined to maintain the fame they acquired by being part of our MySpace Trawl feature by, well, having a piss on a statue of a trout belonging to axed MTV presenter Russell Brand and then stealing his garden gnome. Fortunately Medusa's Julian Molinero has emailed hecklerspray to give his side of this whole Russell Brand statue-pissing incident: Russell Brand was gonna set about helping us to get signed a couple of months back, and organised us to play privately at his house for some of his friends, the band got a bit wasted afterwards though, I don't remember too much that clearly, but the bass player Amadeus De La Fontaine had a piss on what turned out to be a ridiculous porcelain statue of a trout wearing pyjamas. And Russell went psycho (perhaps drug related? Probably not to be honest, just stress) and he started lecturing us about how much things cost. The other people that were there seemed to be homosexual hairdressers and didn't appreciate it, he told us the deal was off. I stole a garden gnome on the way out. God bless Medusa for getting in touch with their version of events - after all, having a piss on Russell Brand's pyjama-fish statue and then pinching his gnome is the new rock and roll, we heard. Read more: Russell Brand's Gnome Wrecker - The Sun
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Pete Doherty Apparently A £100 ‘Bargain’

by C J Davies

What, dear reader, would you describe as a bargain?

Actually, scratch that. We don’t need to know about that bumper packet of condoms you snapped up at the Boots Spring sale the other day. Let’s rephrase the question – what would you describe as a musical bargain?

Picking up the new Arcade Fire CD for a fiver, perhaps? Shelling out 15 quid for some brand-new exclusive unreleased Radiohead tracks? The chance to mercilessly gun down ‘the’ Arctic Monkeys for the princely sum of £2.50 and a bag of chips?

All pretty good deal-breakers, we’re sure you’ll agree. And – we’re sure you’ll concur with this also – about a million times better than anything involving pasty-faced junkie and all-round waste of oxygen Pete Doherty.

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Listen To All Of The Paris Calling Compilation Now

by Stuart Heritage

Think of French music and images of Serge Gainsbourg gazing impassively at a group of dancing girls, or coquettish Brigitte Bardot purring lasciviously though Un Jour Comme Un Autre, spring to mind – but get ready to have your perceptions shattered.

When The Libertines visited Paris in 2003, they left behind a group of young rock and roll disciples, and the fruits of their efforts have all been combined into the Paris Calling compilation. Paris Calling has taken the finest bands of this prickly Parisian guitar scene and launched them into the midst of an unsuspecting world. And we’ve got a top-notch Paris Calling album sampler here, just for you.

We don’t want to spoil too many of the surprises held within Paris Calling, just the biggest one – Paris Calling is good. Unbelievably good. Click on the Paris Calling album sampler now and let Les Shades gently woo you before our new favourite dumb rock band The Hellboys punch your teeth out. Twice. Finally, a warning – listening to the Paris Calling album sampler might trigger a spontaneous imported French album spending frenzy.

Think of French music and images of Serge Gainsbourg gazing impassively at a group of dancing girls, or coquettish Brigitte Bardot purring lasciviously though Un Jour Comme Un Autre, spring to mind - but get ready to have your perceptions shattered. When The Libertines visited Paris in 2003, they left behind a group of young rock and roll disciples, and the fruits of their efforts have all been combined into the Paris Calling compilation. Paris Calling has taken the finest bands of this prickly Parisian guitar scene and launched them into the midst of an unsuspecting world. And we've got a top-notch Paris Calling album sampler here, just for you. We don't want to spoil too many of the surprises held within Paris Calling, just the biggest one - Paris Calling is good. Unbelievably good. Click on the Paris Calling album sampler now and let Les Shades gently woo you before our new favourite dumb rock band The Hellboys punch your teeth out. Twice. Finally, a warning - listening to the Paris Calling album sampler might trigger a spontaneous imported French album spending frenzy.
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