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Movie Gossip

Penguins, Dancing, Fishing Get Documentary Oscar Nods

by Stuart Heritage

Last year, the feature-length documentary was revitalised by hard-hitting exposes like Fahrenheit 911 and Supersize Me – so expectations were naturally high for the announcement of this year’s contenders for Best Documentary Oscar. And what are the big, powerful, government and corporation crushing documentaries up for Best Documentary Oscar this year? A film about some [...]

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Robert De Niro Realises He’s Only Good In Mob Flicks

by Stuart Heritage

It’s long been taken as true that Robert De Niro is The World’s Greatest Film Actor. But, in fact, that’s a big lie. Robert De Niro is The World’s Greatest Film Actor But Only In Films About The Mob. Every time De Niro has tried his hand at anything else, he’s been a little – [...]

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US Weekend Box Office Chart – 50 Cent Is Chicken Little’s Bitch

by Stuart Heritage

Even though Chicken Little is a geeky cartoon bird with the voice of that bloke out of Scrubs, he’s turning out to be tougher than we thought. In the US weekend box office chart, Chicken Little has seen off such hardy competitors as Jennifer Aniston having sex with men on trains and 50 Cent being [...]

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Daughter Storms Out Of Johnny Cash Film Five Times

by Stuart Heritage

The forthcoming Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line has gathered a fair amount of pre-publicity, mainly because the star of the film Joaquin Phoenix seems to be having a total meltdown because of it. There’s already all kinds of whispered Oscar talk about Walk The Line, but there is one person who isn’t a fan [...]

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Vinnie Jones Campaigns For Casino Royale

by Chris Laverty

Fair play to old Vinnie. He is making a mint from a profession he can’t do to save his life. Crap Bond villain for Casino Royale, a – no doubt – crap new Bond movie. A marriage made in heaven. Mr Vinnie Jones can be relied upon to do one thing very well in a [...]

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Paul W Anderson To Direct Another Awful Film

by C J Davies

Sweet baby Jesus. Anyone out there remember Castlevania – that classic 1980s videogame that (despite your fond memories of it) would probably prove to be a little bit crap if you tried playing it now? You probably won’t be surprised that – what with the Doom/Halo-fuelled resurgence in turning thumb-twiddling console games into big-budget blockbusters [...]

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Julianne Moore Is Last Pregnant Woman On Earth

by C J Davies

Babies. They’re rubbish, aren’t they? Wailing spitting little blobs who grow up to be wailing spitting little toddlers. Face facts – babies simply don’t do anything. Try telling that to Julianne Moore, though. She’s got a baby on the way – in fact, she’s the last remaining lady on the planet. In her new film, [...]

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John Travolta Stops Eating Swill to Say No to James Bond

by Chris Laverty

The richest porker in Hollywood John Travolta was reportedly first choice to be the next tuxedo-clad James Bond. Hmm, a shiny pig wrapped in worsted. Lovely. John Travolta has not acted in a decent part since Pulp Fiction. This might be down to a lack of good material, or more likely that his comeback-fat-and-loving-it gimmick [...]

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Justin Timberlake Lacks Yet Another Talent

by C J Davies

Pube-headed professional white boy Justin Timberlake has had his ‘acting’ debut universally panned by critics. Timberlake – a man so lacking in personality he could work in Wetherspoons – took on the task of extending his acting talons in Edison, in which he slips not-so-expertly into the shoes of "a cub reporter exposing police corruption." [...]

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Movies In Sex And Drugs Shock

by Stuart Heritage

Stop the press – a study has discovered that some movies actually condone sex and drugs. Yeah, we were shocked too. But Dr Hasantha Gunasekera has proved it in a report for the Journal of the Royal Society Of Medicine. He puts it to Hollywood that it is being irresponsible in it’s portrayal of unprotected [...]

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