Movie Gossip
Will Ferrell Earns Much More Money Than He Should: Official
This is just a hunch, but we're expecting Will Ferrell to be named as People's sexiest man alive next year. Because, seriously, that man is loaded. He gets paid so much money. Too much money, in fact. And he doesn't deserve a bloody penny of it. That's according to Forbes, at least - Will Ferrell has come out on top of a list 0f Hollywood's most overpaid stars. The list claims that Will Ferrell only earns his investors a return of $3.29 for every dollar he's paid. Why such a poor figure? Well, it's partly because Land Of The Lost flopped, partly because comedy is notoriously difficult to sell around the world and partly because Will Ferrell has cold dead eyes and a rapist's haircut. Possibly.
This is just a hunch, but we're expecting Will Ferrell to be named as People's sexiest man alive next year. Because, seriously, that man is loaded. He gets paid so much money. Too much money, in fact. And he doesn't deserve a bloody penny of it. That's according to Forbes, at least - Will Ferrell has come out on top of a list 0f Hollywood's most overpaid stars. The list claims that Will Ferrell only earns his investors a return of $3.29 for every dollar he's paid. Why such a poor figure? Well, it's partly because Land Of The Lost flopped, partly because comedy is notoriously difficult to sell around the world and partly because Will Ferrell has cold dead eyes and a rapist's haircut. Possibly.
Jennifer Hudson Is Winnie Mandela, Obviously
Winning that Oscar for Dreamgirls didn't just make Jennifer Hudson a household name, it also changed her life forever. Not in a particularly good way, either. When Jennifer Hudson started acting, she probably thought that she'd do Dreamgirls and then maybe a couple of comedies or a big summer action flick. But no. Jennifer Hudson has won an Oscar now, so every film she stars in from now on is legally entitled to be overlong, dreary and so relentlessly worthy that you feel like scrubbing yourself clean with a dry brush afterwards. And that's why Jennifer Hudson is about to play Winnie Mandela in what promises to be a right old bundle of bloody laughs.
Winning that Oscar for Dreamgirls didn't just make Jennifer Hudson a household name, it also changed her life forever. Not in a particularly good way, either. When Jennifer Hudson started acting, she probably thought that she'd do Dreamgirls and then maybe a couple of comedies or a big summer action flick. But no. Jennifer Hudson has won an Oscar now, so every film she stars in from now on is legally entitled to be overlong, dreary and so relentlessly worthy that you feel like scrubbing yourself clean with a dry brush afterwards. And that's why Jennifer Hudson is about to play Winnie Mandela in what promises to be a right old bundle of bloody laughs.
2012 Pummels Weekend Box Office Into A Twisted Mess
2012 is the top movie at the weekend box office. And you don't have to be a genius to work out why. Two hours of John Cusack almost being smashed to death by falling rocks? Who wouldn't want to pay good money to see that! Oh, we're just kidding - 2012 is top of the weekend box office because it deals with the growing worry that the Mayan calendar was right and that the world will end in 2012. And it probably will. After all, the Mayans were right about men originally evolving from mud, weren't they? And about rain being a giant flying snake's dribble. Nice one Mayans, you dead idiots.
2012 is the top movie at the weekend box office. And you don't have to be a genius to work out why. Two hours of John Cusack almost being smashed to death by falling rocks? Who wouldn't want to pay good money to see that! Oh, we're just kidding - 2012 is top of the weekend box office because it deals with the growing worry that the Mayan calendar was right and that the world will end in 2012. And it probably will. After all, the Mayans were right about men originally evolving from mud, weren't they? And about rain being a giant flying snake's dribble. Nice one Mayans, you dead idiots.
Will There Be A New Twilight Book? Um…
With New Moon being released this week, there's only one question that needs to be asked about the Twilight saga. And that's 'for the love of all that's holy, won't somebody make it stop?' Oh, and also 'now that the saga has become so depressingly popular, will Stephenie Meyer ever write another Twilight book?' That is a question that needs to be asked. It is. It is. Alright, it isn't. But Stephenie Meyer has answered it anyway. So will there be a new Twilight book? Maybe. One day. Unless she thinks of something better to do. Possibly. You're welcome Twilight fans. You're welcome.
With New Moon being released this week, there's only one question that needs to be asked about the Twilight saga. And that's 'for the love of all that's holy, won't somebody make it stop?' Oh, and also 'now that the saga has become so depressingly popular, will Stephenie Meyer ever write another Twilight book?' That is a question that needs to be asked. It is. It is. Alright, it isn't. But Stephenie Meyer has answered it anyway. So will there be a new Twilight book? Maybe. One day. Unless she thinks of something better to do. Possibly. You're welcome Twilight fans. You're welcome.
Spider-Man 4 To Also Be Catwoman 2, As Villains Go
Things are about to get awkward down at the Hall of Justice. Not only does everyone have to pretend not to notice the strange sexual tension between the Wonder Twins, but Apache Chief has taco farts and the rec room's been cleared out. And on top of that - somehow Spider-Man's started to date Catwoman and now Batman spends his waking hours crying into a couch cushion. Heroes have feelings too, you know. Now before any super-nerds start balking about colliding universes, let us state we know Spider-Man and Catwoman could never be together. Sam Raimi on the other hand...
Things are about to get awkward down at the Hall of Justice. Not only does everyone have to pretend not to notice the strange sexual tension between the Wonder Twins, but Apache Chief has taco farts and the rec room's been cleared out. And on top of that - somehow Spider-Man's started to date Catwoman and now Batman spends his waking hours crying into a couch cushion. Heroes have feelings too, you know. Now before any super-nerds start balking about colliding universes, let us state we know Spider-Man and Catwoman could never be together. Sam Raimi on the other hand...
A Christmas Carol Reminds Weekend Box Office Of Death
Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho ho ho! What did you get for Christmas? Anything good? Did it snow? Ho ho ho! Ho ho... hang on a minute. It isn't Christmas. It isn't anywhere remotely near Christmas. It's barely November. We haven't even started to build up our reserve of goodwill towards all men yet. In fact, we still think most men are wankers. So why is A Christmas Carol the number one movie at the weekend box office? Because it's not very good and everyone's trying to get it out of the way early so that it doesn't bugger up everyone's Christmas? Oh, right.
Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho ho ho! What did you get for Christmas? Anything good? Did it snow? Ho ho ho! Ho ho... hang on a minute. It isn't Christmas. It isn't anywhere remotely near Christmas. It's barely November. We haven't even started to build up our reserve of goodwill towards all men yet. In fact, we still think most men are wankers. So why is A Christmas Carol the number one movie at the weekend box office? Because it's not very good and everyone's trying to get it out of the way early so that it doesn't bugger up everyone's Christmas? Oh, right.
Michael Jackson’s This Is It Heals The Weekend Box Office
Obviously Michael Jackson's new film This Is It would top the weekend box office this week. Obviously. It had everything going for it. Michael Jackson's millions of fans are using This Is It as a way to pay tribute to his life. Plus This Is It will only be exhibited theatrically for two weeks, so everyone will see it at the same time. Plus no other big films opened on Friday, giving This Is It a clear path to weekend box office glory. Also, given the choice between This Is It and Law Abiding Citizen, who wouldn't choose the harrowing documentary about the painfully thin spectre-like drug addict in the silly wig?
Obviously Michael Jackson's new film This Is It would top the weekend box office this week. Obviously. It had everything going for it. Michael Jackson's millions of fans are using This Is It as a way to pay tribute to his life. Plus This Is It will only be exhibited theatrically for two weeks, so everyone will see it at the same time. Plus no other big films opened on Friday, giving This Is It a clear path to weekend box office glory. Also, given the choice between This Is It and Law Abiding Citizen, who wouldn't choose the harrowing documentary about the painfully thin spectre-like drug addict in the silly wig?
Paranormal Activity Makes Weekend Box Office Wet Itself
The number one movie at the weekend box office contains terrifying footage of a freakish undead figure. No, not This Is It. That comes out on Wednesday. We’re talking about Paranormal Activity - the film that was made for $11,000, is widely referred to as ‘the scariest film ever made’ and has gradually been climbing the weekend box office chart as word of mouth about it grew. Best of all, Paranormal Activity has beaten the latest Saw movie at the weekend box office, too. So here’s hoping that a new, incrementally rubbisher, Paranormal Activity movie gets released every year to help us forget how good the first one was, too! Hooray!
The number one movie at the weekend box office contains terrifying footage of a freakish undead figure. No, not This Is It. That comes out on Wednesday. We’re talking about Paranormal Activity - the film that was made for $11,000, is widely referred to as ‘the scariest film ever made’ and has gradually been climbing the weekend box office chart as word of mouth about it grew. Best of all, Paranormal Activity has beaten the latest Saw movie at the weekend box office, too. So here’s hoping that a new, incrementally rubbisher, Paranormal Activity movie gets released every year to help us forget how good the first one was, too! Hooray!
