From the category archives:

Celebrity Gossip

Julian Assange To Appear In The Simpsons, Despite All That Sex Crime Business

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! You know Julian Assange? What do you mean you don’t know who he is? He’s the man who leaks things. Allegedly, he leaks things all over people against their will (which he denies, natch). He also likes leaking documents which really gets up the nose of the world’s governments. Sounds like a thrilling bloke, [...]

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Americans Are Stupid Enough To Like Keira Knightley

by Mof Gimmers

Have you seen Domino? It’s just about the worst film ever made. That includes the ill-advised Garbage Pail Kids movie which some idiot wasted his money on making. And the reason that Domino is so bad lays entirely at the feet of the godawful Keira Knightley – an English accent designed to occupy a thong. [...]

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Elton John vrs Madonna: Still Bickering Like Massive Bitches

by Matthew Laidlow

Modern society, we’re so advanced aren’t we? With our two-in-one shampoo and conditioner and trendy high street café’s selling luxury iced coffee! Really, we’ve never had it so good. But all of this pampering has left us soft as a nation. Back in the days of the Vikings and Romans, heated disputes were usually sorted [...]

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Ex-TOWIE Star Harry Derbidge Wins “Idiots’ Idiot” Award

by Michael Park

There isn’t much to be said about Harry Derbidge that hasn’t already been said. By that we mean that there is very little to say about Harry Derbidge aside from the fact that he appears to have an IQ comparable to that of a brain-damaged heron. In fact, up until today we hadn’t actually heard [...]

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Drake Proves That Even Celebrities Have Unattainable Goals

by Michael Park

You’re familiar with Drake already, aren’t you? Of course you are. You’re totally down with the kids. Well, he’s spent the weekend proving that even people with watch collections have hopes and dreams. Not content with selling loads of records to over-protective hip-hop fans, Drake is apparently itching to play US President Barack Obama in [...]

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Sinead O’Connor Is Back With Her Husband. Again.

by Sophie Hall

Good news! After a month of torrential rain, uncharted deceit to our own promises to ourselves, the big N-Dubz split, and the bit in the Lana Del Ray SNL performance where she momentarily went through male puberty, January is finally ending – and on a high. Sinead O Connor’s back with her lovely hub! Hurrah! Righto [...]

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Dr. Conrad Murray Wants An Electronic Tag & A Get Out Of Jail Free Card

by Matthew Laidlow

When you’re in a position of note, it’s easy to get carried away and become an egotistical crack-shack. One need only look at Sting’s self-satisfied fizzog to see exactly what we mean. Not everybody has it so easy once they’ve been elevated to a “status” – especially one they might not want. Who are we [...]

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George Clooney Desperately Jonesing For Olympic Freebies In Interviews

by Mof Gimmers

The good looking version of Herman Munster, George Clooney, has used his charm to get a lot of things in his life. If you believe the rumours, his charm has worked best on throwing people off the scent that he might be gay. We’ve no idea if he’s gay or not and don’t rightly care. [...]

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Paris Jackson And Justin Bieber To Shag With Unswerving Predictability

by Mof Gimmers

When Michael Jackson was alive (he’s very much dead these days), he ended up getting married to Lisa Marie Presley. It was weird. The King Of Pop shacking up with The King Of Rock ‘n’ Roll’s daughter. Mixing pop royalty like that… it’s incestuous and odd. And guess what is going to happen? That’s right, [...]

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Demi Moore’s 911 Emergency Call Is Early Contender For Christmas No1

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Demi Moore’s suffering and being rushed to hospital after seizures from alleged narcotics, is simply not enough for us. The fact she’s so unhappy is fine and all, but we need more. Like what? We all need to hear her cry for help. It’s not good enough knowing that she was [...]

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