From the category archives:

Celebrity Gossip

Madonna Promises That There’ll Be No Wardrobe Malfunctions At Super Bowl (Thank God)

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident. Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being [...]

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Harry Potter Can’t Handle His Drink Because He’s A Massive Wimp

by Mof Gimmers

Harry Potter star, Harry Potter (or, Daniel Radcliffe as his mum refers to him when she’s shouting abuse up the stairs) is a wimp of the highest order. Why? Because wickle Dan Dan can’t handle his ale. And he’s proud to admit it. Apparently, Radcliffe had a drink problem. The problem was that, every single [...]

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Super Bowl 2012: Worst Star Spangled Banner Performances, EVER!

by Mof Gimmers

Super Bowl Sunday is nearly upon us, leaving 99.9% of the Great British public absolutely nonplussed. The remaining 1% is made entirely of 3 super fans and a host of the curious. Still, that shouldn’t stop us looking at it.

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Geri Halliwell Wants You To Look Like Her 15 Years Ago

by Robin Darke

People of the World, spice up your life, as Madhur Jaffrey advised us. And now, ladies, spicing up your life is even easier, because singer/author/actress/thin Geri Halliwell has finally done what everyone presumed she would have done years ago and released a range of clothes inspired by the iconic Union Jack dress she popped out [...]

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Who Cheated On Gwyneth Paltrow?

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Gwyneth Paltrow. Awful isn’t it? All that self-serving hippie-dippy nonsense floating around your head telling you how wonderfully wonderful you are. All the while, Chris Martin gazes at you lovingly like a kindly priest longing after a crumpet. BLECCH. Never mind that though because we’re interested in pain! Paltrow’s pain specifically! So join us [...]

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Aaron And Nick Carter, Now Very Much Crying With Awful Grief

by Mof Gimmers

And now, some news that should leave you feeling utterly confused and unsure of how to feel. Basically, this will either sadden you or make you wonder whether you should give the slightest shit about it all. And it involves Nick and Aaron Carter.

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Nicki Minaj Sees ‘Stupid Hoe’ Banned For Being Deeply, Intensely Irritating

by Mof Gimmers

Nicki Minaj is a woman on a mission. Her mission is to become the most gifted, yet irritatingly wasteful popstar who ever lived. Her guest-raps have been a thing of wonderful, but when it comes to her own back-catalogue, she’s determined to make the most annoying pop music ever made. Seriously. She’s taken Daphne & [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Boozing And Isn’t Having Sex In Petrol Stations

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan used to be loads of fun. She was always in trouble or having sex with someone. She had set the controls for the heart of self-destruct and we all had ringside seats for an early death. And then she went and spoiled it all by looking after herself. Git. And now, after getting [...]

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Eamonn Holmes’ Prostitution Predicament

by Kris Silver

Eamonn Holmes is a man famed for the legendary status of his gargantuan gob. Not only is it capable of producing more crap than his backside on a day-to-day basis, but when it isn’t spewing verbal sewage it’s being stuffed with all manner of deep-fried goodies. Well, let’s hope Eamonn has deep-fried his foot after [...]

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Diary Of The Fearless Truth Seekers: The Month In Tabloids – My Divorcey Worsy

by Si Sharp

The big Christmas celeb-story was the Katy Perry/Russell Brand divorce announcement. For tabloids it had everything- she’s a lipstick lesbian and his addictive personality means that there has to be something either up his nose or on his dick at all times. It’s been the latter for years now which has made him the thinking woman’s [...]

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