As we rummage through our inboxes on the seemingly dying MySpace, we are still inundated with requests from people who believe they are the next big thing when really they're not.

One such person, who we don’t want to promote, proudly told us that she was due to play with Ian Van Dahl. Yes, that’s right, Ian Van Dahl the super-cheesy Euro pop dance muck who was popular in the mid-nineties who probably now resides in bars on Magaluf busking in the streets. People who we do like are artists who are a little bit more creative and even come from countries that you’d struggle to find on a map. Our choice for this week certainly got us scratching our heads when we discovered where they're from.

Konono No. 1 hail from Kinshasa which we believe is near Angola and the Congo. Best ask a geography teacher for some help if you’re confused. Konono No. 1 are so small that they have just really gotten a bit of attention despite their long career. But what makes them so unique?

We like stuff that's a bit different around here. Settling for poxy indie muck won’t do for us. This is why we launched the jaunty MySpace Trawl feature that each week attempts to show you there’s more to life than all the crap bands going to play Live Earth. 

This week we aim to bring you an artist who

Bloody hellfire! It’s a crazy two-for-one special this week on the old trawl through MySpace, where we try to claw away the spam and leave you with stuff that you would be proud to put on your fruit-based mp3 player.

This week we bring you the psychedelic sounds of The Earlies and on the reverse, a faster and angrier listen from Help She Can’t Swim. This is our rubbish apology for not having one done for last week. We’re sure that tens of you spat out your milk and pelted your PC with cookies in utter shock and disgust. We sometimes do that, but only during our special moments. Both this week's bands are ones we’ve accidentally seen live at some point. 

Another week, another trawl – or something like that, as we delve once again into the often confusing world of MySpace music.

Not a week goes by when someone doesn't try to whore themselves out to us by saying they're the best thing since spreadable butter, or something equally as fascinating. Though we do manage to sieve out the good from the bad, awful and the downright delusional artists to bring you songs that don’t sing about umbrellas or other useful household objects. Sadly, Lee Ryan will not be featured this week as we don’t recommend former manufactured bell-end boy band members who send packs of 11-year-old girls after us. Instead, we bestow the honour to Dextro. Someone who doesn’t need to be paraded around every shite gossip magazine to make a name for himself. His music does the talking. 

Just when we thought we couldn’t milk this feature any further, we've somehow managed to surprise ourselves. Usually when we browse the internet on cold lonely nights looking for a band to feature, we always find someone good, hence the entire feature, and badly research some stuff about them. 

This week, our band in the spotlight is Diamarek who hail from Belgium - the country usually associated with ginger-haired reporter Tintin and the old sea dog himself Captain Haddock. We actually know more about Tintin than Diamarek. After stumbling across their MySpace page, we were intrigued to hear their gentle sounds. More on these later. However, we also left mightily confused when it came to finding out the history of this band...   

Over the god knows how long we’ve been shoving decent music in your direction guiding you away from Girls Aloud and all that other crap you secretly like, we’ve come to realise that we keep on mentioning a certain artist.

Actually that’s a lie, and we seem to mention him an awful lot. But only because we admire the skills this man has. It's kind of non-complicated, but for the more stupid, Four Tet doesn’t just record under one name. Instead he has worked with two other musical legends in the band Fridge who are soon to make a comeback and, more recently, he has been collaborating with the drumming master Steve Reid. So why are we so giddy with excitement like school children about one person?

As semi-regular as clockwork comes our feature - which has properly been copied by other websites/ magazines - that attempts to pinpoint music that basically kicks arse in its own unique way. We aim to push some of the shit music in your brain out of your head and allow the good stuff in.

While we can’t perform miracles, like Christ, and make you totally musically hip, we’ll try our best. Today we focus on a genre of music that we have never reviewed. No, it's not one of our more bizarre genres that could possibly involve an octopus, a phone book and a violin. Instead, it’s something you’ve all properly heard an annoying neighbour play very loud at 3am, the day before you take that important exam. Everyone secretly loves Drum & Bass, they just need prodding in the right direction. So we’ll proud you in the direction of Melly. 

Blah blah blah we don’t even know why we even wrote this sentence.

All you need to know that be your own PET are ridiculously young, make rock music you will mosh your skinny white ass to and make you sick for the fact that they're under twenty, have a successful music