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Holiday

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Since Monday is a bank holiday - and thus without hecklerspray, here's a video by The Ripps for a song called Holiday. Because Monday is a holiday and the song is called Holiday. Clever huh? Anyone?

Anyway, Holiday is the new single from Long Live The Ripps, the gloriously trashy debut album by Coventry/Chile scoundrels The Ripps. Holiday isn't really the best song that The Ripps are ever going to release - it's a painfully dated Britpop song about drinking a cheeky pint in Wetherspoons - but it is called Holiday, and Monday is a bank holiday, so we're sticking up here because we're too lazy to think of anything wittier than posting a song called Holiday on a holiday. Just count yourselves lucky that bank holidays aren't called Razorlight days, or else we'd all be in trouble. 

Probably the easiest way to get a bit of notoriety these days is to make a video that someone ends up banning, since they show that you don't play by society's 'rules' and that you're too cool for things like 'basic decency' - something that The Cribs have picked up.

The video for Men's Needs by The Cribs has been outrageously banned by MTV2 before nine o'clock due to some kind of OFCOM complaint. Officially, the video to Men's Needs by The Cribs was banned because of an incident where a naked woman chops off one man's arm and another man's heads, but we're not so sure - if we were OFCOM we'd have banned the video to Men's Needs by The Cribs for at least one of the following: a) gratuitous use of huge black squares, b) utilising computer-based effects that would have looked out-of-date two decades ago or c) ripping off The Strokes to an almost illegal degree. 

Running Up That Hill

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Back in 1996, Brian Molko from Placebo sang "When I was born I started to decay" and an entire population put their heads together to discuss a way to somehow start accelerating the decaying process.

That's because, back in 1996, Placebo were a bunch of terrible whiny proto-emos who couldn't find a semi-decent tune if you smeared one across their androgynous faces. But now it's 11 years later, so what has changed for Placebo? Not a lot, except that nobody listens to Placebo any more and they're too bald to be androgynous. But the good news is that Placebo have finally located a good tune. Trouble is it's not theirs.

Placebo's new single is a cover of Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush, and for the video the band invited their fans to participate with their own - shudder - user-generated content. So basically, by clicking to see the video for Running Up That Hill by Placebo, you're agreeing to watch a 22-year-old song recorded in a intrinsically unlikeable whine and then mimed by a selection of people who walk around with poetry books in their pockets to try and look deeper than they actually are. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Smart chaps, !!!. Even though to pronounce the name of their band you have make the sound of a chicken with a nervous twitch, the clever !!! boys have realised that they'll always be the first thing you hear if you let your iPod play through alphabetically.

So it's just as well that !!! are capable of making songs as fantastic as Must Be The Moon, then. Must Be The Moon is taken from the most recent !!! album Myth Takes and, despite the weird white boy rap in it, it's just good as you'd expect from the people who brought you Feel Good Hit Of The Fall and Me And Giuliani Down By The Schoolyard. !!! have discovered verses and choruses in Myth Takes and having a song structure behind them means that songs like Must Be The Moon can reach their huge, throbbing powerhouse potential that, we suspect, the Red Hot Chili Peppers sometimes believe themselves sound like.

You have to be careful when you name something after a song. Radiohead named themselves after a particularly average Talking Heads song, The Ordinary Boys got their name from an average Morrissey song and hecklerspray… well, look, we'll just brush over this bit, OK?

Anyway, new band Some Velvet Morning have set themselves a seemingly impossible task by naming themselves after one of the finest songs ever written. Can they possibly live up to the standard of their name? Judging by new single Settle Down we'd say "Um, sort of. Probably. Just about, we guess. Look, we really don't know and we're quite busy, do you mind?" Settle Down by Some Velvet Morning is perfectly OK and shows hints of potential for the future, but you can make your own minds up. Oh, the video for Settle Down by Some Velvet Morning has got a bunch of girls in their bras in it too. Just so you know.

Watch the Some Velvet Morning Settle Down video now 

The future is a scary place, and nobody knows it more than new band The Harrisons. The Harrisons have seen the future and, by God, are they ever hell-bent on showing it to us in the video to their forthcoming single Dear Constable.

The Harrison's version of Sheffield in 2026 is a grim place, where police in riot gear roam around the streets beating up anyone who dares read books. It's roughly the same future as heckerspray will create when we're made King, except we'd only batter people reading The Da Vinci Code. Anyway, the future police's reign of terror seems to stretch to attacking generic post-punk indie bands in stupid hats because, by the end of Dear Constable, The Harrisons have been set upon and thrown into a Clockwork Orange-style rehabilitation centre, where they'll presumably have their eyes pinned open and get forced to watch a succession of violent images until they stop copying Bloc Party so much.

Think of the 1990s and what springs to mind? Don't Forget Your Toothbrush? Granddad shirts? Trying to grow a haircut like Liam Gallagher and ending up looking like Chris Waddle? Catchy little inoffensive indie tunes with computer-animated rooftop videos?

There's a band around called The 1990s, you see, and their stock in trade seems to be catchy little inoffensive indie tunes with computer-animated rooftop videos - or at least that's what new single See You At The Lights seems to suggest. Taken from forthcoming album Cookies, See You At The Lights perfectly demonstrates where The 1990s got their name. Full of more "ba ba ba"s and "hey"s than you can shake one of Rick Witter's maracas at, See You At The Lights could have been made at any point between 1992 and 1997 - and whether or not that's a good thing is up to you.

Watch The 1990s See You At The Lights video now

Awfully behind the times here, we know - but thanks to a tip by the hecklerspray reader who reminds us most of Jack Bauer, here's a bunch of old people singing My Generation by The Who in a way far, far better than you'd probably expect.

There's not a lot more about The Zimmers' version of My Generation that we can add, really - but needless to say it's delivered with more zip and verve than Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey have mustered in decades and is several light years better than any of the times Oasis have tried to perform it live. Guitar-smashing, drum-destroying, finger-flicking, My Generation by The Zimmers is a rare treat - and if anything today makes you grin more than the sight of a toothless pensioner growling "I hope I die before I get old" be sure to tell us, because it'd have to be something very special. 

Rarely have we been more torn about posting a video than with Education by Isa And The Filthy Tongues; we initially didn't want to, mainly because it's by a band called Isa And The Filthy Tongues, for the love of baby Jesus.

But then, after a little bit of digging, we found a quote comparing Isa And The Filthy Tongues to "The Pixies on Mogadon," and rightly decided that you can't really argue with a sentiment like that. So here you are, Education by Isa And The Filthy Tongues: a cocksure Tarantino-esque revamping of the Get Carter soundtrack fronted by the sort of gum-snapping girl who exudes more cool in one effortless flick of her wrist than you've been able to in your entire measly lives. Menacing and uplifting all at once, Education has left us gagging to see how well Isa And The Filthy Tongues can repeat the trick on their forthcoming album.

Watch The Isa And The Filthy Tongues Education video now 

You may know that we're not the biggest fans of 30 Seconds To Mars around here - just the same as we're not fans of any hopeless credibility-seeking vanity projects by annoyingly pretentious Hollywood actors, in fact.

So with that in mind, why the devil are we showing you the video to The Kill by 30 Seconds To Mars - or Jared Leto's Crappy Band, as they're more commonly known? Well, for a number of reasons - but mostly because the video to The Kill is inspired by The Shining, and we like The Shining. However, instead of going mad, imagining that he's gone back in time, trying to kill his family and then freezing to death in a maze, Jared Leto's version of The Shining just involves 30 Seconds To Mars going to a spooky hotel and only going back in time in order to rock the old-time hotel crowd to pieces with some wicked generic emo music.

We're also showing you the video to The Kill by 30 Seconds To Mars because there's no music for the first 78 seconds. That's the best bit, naturally.

Watch the 30 Seconds To Mars The Kill video now  

"Na na na hey! Na na na hey!" Get used to that combination of "na"s and "hey"s, because there's a chance it's about to dig into head and stay there for the rest of the day thanks to The Masquerade by Rival Joustas.

We only know who Rival Joustas are because of a tip-off from a wonderful reader; but now we've seen the video to their debut single The Masquerade our lives have definitely been a little bit enriched, and now it's your turn. Rival Joustas are a gang of four polite young south coast hoodlums who have been described as 'progressive/ electronic/ punk', which seems to us to be a nice way of saying 'noisy indie' - since that's what The Masquerade actually is. Anyway, we like The Masquerade by Rival Joustas and so should you - unless you're about to watch the spinny spinny video on a full stomach, in which case you're probably about to bring it all back up again all down your top.

Hey kids, do you like James Morrison and Paulo Nutini? No, us neither. Anyway, Newton Faulkner has supported both of them recently, but - staggeringly - he's not as skull-assaultingly dreadful as either of those two awful tosspots.

Not a lot is known about Newton Faulkner, and what is known - that he's a dreadlocked singer-songwriter who can count Jo Wiley as a fan - would usually be enough to send us screaming into the forest. But he's new, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Newton Faulkner's new single is called I Need Something and, as well as showing off his way around a tune, I Need Something is also the perfect introduction to Faulkner's genuinely hypnotic guitar technique. We reserve the right to like I Need Something by Newton Faulkner at this moment in time, because God knows we're going to be bloody sick of it in a couple of weeks.

Watch The Newton Faulkner I Need Something video now