Music Videos

Over the last few days, what with Celine Dion ploughing through 6.5 million gallons of water in a year and Sharon Stone blaming the Chinese earthquake on karma, we’ve thought a lot about how much celebrities care.

And they care a lot. Celebrities, because they are celebrities, feel suffering much more strongly than anyone else. And there’s only one outlet for this profound level of caring - the all-star charity song. We all know the big ones - like We Are The World and Do They Know It’s Christmas - but there are plenty of other less well-known ones out there as well.

Like What More Can I Give by Michael Jackson And Friends, a song written about South Africa, recorded after 9/11 and never properly released because its video was apparently shot by a director of gay porn. Anastacia, Nick Carter, Usher, Ricky Martin, ‘N Sync, Hanson - they all appear on What More Can I Give, though we’d expect none of them would want to discuss it if you asked them about it now.

Why? Try and watch What More Can I Give all the way to the end and you’ll see why. It’s hard, we know - you’ll suffer through more fist-pumping oversincerity than you can possibly imagine - but it’s absolutely worth it, just to see the bit where Usher and Celine Dion give heartfelt spoken-word messages. Not about 9/11, you understand. About Michael Jackson. Incredible.

Alesha Dixon, remember her? Yes you do, she was the girl from Mis-Teeq who shouted everything like Pat Butcher impersonating a small dog. You know, the one whose husband had an affair with Javine off Eurovision.

OK, perhaps you know Alesha Dixon as the woman who won Strictly Come Dancing last year, beating such luminaries as That Woman Who Used To Be In EastEnders and A Bald Snooker Player. During Strictly Come Dancing, Bruce Forsyth repeatedly told Alesha that she was 'Europe's Beyonce.' And now that Alesha's got a new single coming out, entitled For You I Will perhaps it's time to see how true that prediction is. And we've got a teaser of the For You I Will video first. Lucky us!

But what's For You I Will by Alesha Dixon like? It's actually kind of alright, in a 'don't offend the grannies who watched Strictly Come Dancing' kind of way. It's a bit James Bond-y, Alesha looks pretty in the video, some of the instruments are made of bits of cars and - thankfully - there's no UK Garage-style rapping in it. But the video does cut off after one minute and 40 seconds, so maybe the second verse is a nang dubplate ragga freestyle remix. Or something. 

Let us know what you think of For You I Will by Alesha Dixon - out on iTunes on Monday - below, won't you.

Yes, we know we've already used the video to Ringo Starr's new single Liverpool 8 in another post, but it's so awful we've become obsessed with it. Actually obsessed, like that bloke from Zodiac.

Seriously, just watch Liverpool 8. It's so completely, utterly, unspeakably terrible that we're not even sure a human being could be responsible for it, let alone Ringo Starr. Everything about Liverpool 8 is horrific, from the tune to the vocals to the preposterously banal lyrics. Liverpool 8 is so bad that past civilisations would have put Ringo Starr to death for making it.

You get a sense of just how woeful Liverpool 8's going to be from the moment that Ringo blathers "I was a sailor first/ I sailed the sea," just to clarify what sailors actually do for those who maybe thought they varnished fossils for a living.

And then it gets worse. Liverpool 8, you see, is basically The History Of The Beatles By Ringo Starr. And what insights do we get from one of the two remaining people on Earth with first-hand experience of what it was like to be in the biggest band in history? "We were number one/ Man it was fun," that's what. So that's that cleared up for eternity, then.

Liverpool 8 might make Octopus's Garden look like Dostoevsky, but once you've listened to it 20 times in a row just to get a handle on precisely how moronic it is, something odd happens. Liverpool 8 stops being horrible and becomes… well, not good - we aren't idiots - but touching.

It's like listening to a song by Forrest Gump looking back on his life - yes, it's so simplistic that a six-year-old would be kept back a few years at school for writing it, but the knowledge that Ringo Starr probably spent months coming up with the line "The red lights were on/ with George and Paul and my friend John", coupled with the unintentionally plaintive way he sings it, makes it all a little bit heartbreaking.

Then you realise that Liverpool 8's main sentiment is "Hey Liverpool, I fucked you over but look at me! I'm Ringo Starr! Woo-hooo!" and it dawns on you that Ringo Starr is probably a bit of a dick.

But, hey, fun while it lasted, right?

Here are some quick facts: 1) Hey Venus! by the Super Furry Animals is one of the best albums of the year so far. 2) Run-Away is one of the best songs from Hey Venus! 3) The video for Run-Away has the shouty bloke from The IT Crowd coming over all Melody Nelson.

There, that's literally all you need to know to get you to watch the video for Run-Away by the Super Furry Animals. Although the Run-Away video is clearly recommended for Super Furry Animal fans with equal love for computer-based Channel 4 comedy shows and early 1970s French concept albums - and, hey, isn't that everyone these days - the rest of you will all gain something wonderful from watching Run-Away by the Super Furry Animals. Look, just sodding well watch the thing, would you?

Watch the Super Furry Animals Run-Away video now

Now, hecklerspray likes Les Savy Fav, and so should you. And if Les Savvy Fav's trademark blend of angular indie rock energy and frightening intelligence don't rock your world, then maybe winning 1,000 of Les Savy Fav's money will prick up your ears.

After two years of inactivity Les Savy Fav are back, and they want you to make a video to their new track The Equestrian. Let's hand over to some official-sounding Les Savy Fav spokespeople:

Les Savy Fav have asked for you to create your own video for their track "The Equestrian" from their forthcoming Let's Stay Friends, with the band deciding a few stipulations. It needs to be a live performance of the song, and think karaoke rather than cover. They want you to dress like them, act like them, and make sure you are holding "instruments" and "performing". How you read into "instruments" is up to you, and so is the rest. You can literally be doing anything!

To enter, all you have to do is:

1. Download “The Equestrian”

2. Create your video

3. Post it on Youtube with the keywords "LSF:LSF live video contest"

4. Email letsstayfriends@frenchkissrecords.com with the subject "LSF:LSF live video contest". Be sure to include your name, contact info and a link to your YouTube submission.

5. THE VIDEO WITH THE HIGHEST RATING/MOST VIEWS BY SEPTEMBER 18th WINS $1000 and a TROPHY!

If you want a shot of winning Les Savy Fav's cash, then you can download an mp3 of The Equestrian here. Be warned, though, you'll need to do better than this… 

We love Animal Collective more than our first born child here at hecklerspray.

Well - we don't actually have a first born child, to be honest. But if we did, we can guarantee you two things. Number one - that we'd name it Animal Collective in honour of the band. And number two - that we'd take great pains not to love the child as much as the band it was named after, thereby sticking to the principles we've already outlined.

Those of you who know Animal Collective will know that they're one of the most original-sounding, eccentric, kaleidoscopic musical acts on the planet. And guess what? Their new album Strawberry Jam - already being heralded as their 'breakthrough' record - is all ready to hit stores on September 10th.

First single Peacebone has been plonked on YouTube to promote the record, and - by the scented beard of Christ - if it isn't one of the most unusual things hecklerspray has ever seen. In fact, if you see a better video this year that contains a weird-toothed woman falling in love with a monster, then we just don't want to know about it.

That's not a figure of speech, by the way. We genuinely don't want to know. Stop calling us at three in the morning, you freaks.

Right, we're scared. Not because the new Reverend & The Makers single He Said He Loved Me has a video containing a pair of disembodied legs dancing around with a flapping fish on top of them while a woman angrily whips them.

Oh no. The reason why He Said He Loves Me by Reverend & The Makers has scared us is because if contains more regional accents than an entire series of The One Show. Actually, as toe-tapping as He Said He Loved Me is, it's this fact that still hasn't convinced us that Reverend & The Makers aren't just a cynically cobbled-together box-ticking exercise by a record company. The bloke in it sounds like the singer from Arctic Monkeys, the woman in it sounds like Kate Nash, the backing track sounds like Jamie T… honestly, Reverend & The Makers are just a cameo on Skins away from being the most generically zeitgeisty band around. Obviously this means you won't care about Reverend & The Makers in a month, so enjoy them while you can.

Watch The Reverend & The Makers He Said He Loved Me video now 

There aren't that many white rappers from northern England who copy their look from Uncle Albert out of Only Fools And Horses, but at least Kid Acne's doing all he can to remedy that.

We literally don't know the first bloody thing about Kid Acne - honestly, we don't know who he is or what his album's called or anything - but on the basis of Sliding Doors we might be tempted to go and find out. Sliding Doors by Kid Acne is a party banger and no mistake - it sounds like such a messy sound collage that it reminds us of The Go! Team trapping Vernon Kay in a big jar and shaking him until he gets really upset - and fans of nonsense lyrics and barking pop videos are going to find a lot that makes them happy here. And until someone records a number one hit entitled Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, Sliding Doors by Kid Acne is easily the best song ever named after a Gwyneth Paltrow movie.

Watch The Kid Acne Sliding Doors video now 

Maximo Park's newest album, Our Earthly Pleasures, was half made of fizzing, life-affirming songs and half of rubbish songs that may as well be titled Will Fellate For Mainstream American Radio Success.

Fortunately Maximo Park's newest single, Girls Who Play Guitars, is taken straight from the former batch. Synths buzz, Paul Smith yelps and the whole shebang is tighter than hecklerspray on a night down the pub. God knows what it's about, mind you, although Paul Smith seems awfully sad that he and his girlfriend don't talk about boys who have had their spines surgically removed any more. Girls Who Play Guitar by Maximo Park, then - not as good as Our Velocity but far better than Books From Boxes. More like this please. 

You always know where you are with King Creosote, don't you? Lovely folky goodness in great big fat dollops and nothing more. That's what we thought, too, until we heard his new single You've No Clue Do You.

We interviewed King Creosote on the basis that he was lovely and folky, and we gave you a free download of an old King Creosote single because it was lovely and folky, but You've No Clue Do You isn't folky in the slightest, unless you count anthemic choruses, disco strings and what sounds alarming like a dance beat as 'folky'. Which, for the love of all that's holy, you'd better not. So You've No Clue Do You by King Creosote isn't folky, that much we know, but is it lovely? Ah, now that's a toughie. Watch the video to You've No Clue Do You by King Creosote and let us know. We're going to have to give it a few more spins before we make our mind up.

Watch the King Creosote You've No Clue Do You video now 

Now we'll be the first to admit that we haven't got the foggiest about Cat The Dog, but someone sent us the video to their new single I'm A Romantic and we'll be darned if it isn't a slice of full-tilt rock and roll the likes of which we haven't heard in ages.

The basic facts about Cat The Dog are these: 1) Cat The Dog are from Brighton and 2) On the basis of I'm A Romantic, Cat The Dog are good. Everything else is superfluous, so we'll just steal the rest of this from the press release:

Pungent desert rock in the same body as spring-loaded new wave; urban paranoia underpinning occult psychedelics; these four young riders on the storm make new magic from old spells; and even they seem to be scared of what they seem to be about to achieve. With ingredients stretching from Television and New York Dolls to Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stone Age to Beach Boys and Beatles to The Pretty Things and The Stones to Cheap Trick and The Cars; together they light a sonic touchpaper and everyone else stands well back. 

Yeah, Cat The Dog sound a bit like Nirvana.

Watch the Cat The Dog I'm A Romantic video now  

L-I-N-D-S-A-Y (Career Suicide)

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This is why the internet kicks so much arse - a week after Lindsay Lohan gets arrested for getting all Bullitt on another car with a pocket full of cocaine and a blood system full of booze and comedian Smooth-E has already written, performed and made a video laying into her.

There's not a lot to say about Smooth-E's Lindsay Lohan video, except that it's part Grand Theft Auto, part hip-hop video and part another nail in Lindsay Lohan's career. But before you watch this and start feeling superior to Lindsay Lohan, just ask yourself who'll make a lightning-fast parody video of you when you're arrested for DUI with cocaine in your pocket? Nobody, that's who. Unless you ask us really nicely.