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Downright Dynamite Downloads of The Week: Fun Lovin’ Criminals, I Am Kloot, Israel Kamakawiwo’ole…

by Shawn Lindseth

Winter is dying and spring is in bloom. With all those blossoming flowers and sprouting lawns comes another installment of hecklerspray’s musical recommends. We’ll tell you what your ears should be craving, and you find out if we’re right or not – by digging up these tracks pronto. Well, after lunch anyway.

Here’s a fun first page sampler:

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Dreary Old ‘One’ By U2 Is The Best Ever Song Lyric, Apparently

by Stuart Heritage

One thing that Bono doesn’t need is any more gushing praise. The tiny fool already gets enough of it heaped on him for either trying to save the world or going “doo doo doo,” with U2 on iPod adverts.

But gushing praise keeps getting thrown at Bono and U2. The latest dumb accolade to be slung their way is that One, a 14-year-old U2 song, has been voted the song with the best lyric ever. God knows why; all that stuff about lepers living in people’s heads must have struck a chord in the minds of VH1 viewers.

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Kylie For Glastonbury?

by Stuart Heritage

Kylie Minogue hasn’t done too much performing of late – treatment for breast cancer has seen to that – but that hasn’t stopped Michael Eavis from trying to get her onstage at Glastonbury next year.

Chances are that Kylie will accept the Glastonbury offer, too – and what better way is there to celebrate a victorious return to full health than by getting your arse out and singing songs from 1988 to a stinking throng of hippies with trenchfoot?

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Downright Dynamite Downloads Of The Week: Beck, Lee Dorsey, Motion City Soundtrack…

by Shawn Lindseth

Come closer kids, and sit on our knees. When we were your age we bought candy bars for a nickel, and had to kill snakes on the way to school. It was OK though, because we did it to the tune of tracks like these! As always, we make the recommends, and you promise to track them down anyway you can – and to take care of your grandmother when we’re gone. She’ll need a shorts change everyday around two.

This week with music from Beck, Marcy Playground, LL Cool J, Motion City Soundtrack, Lee Dorsey and Lucky Boys Confusion.

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Watch The Karine Polwart ‘I’m Gonna Do It All’ Video Now

by Stuart Heritage

Folk is a bit of a dirty word – and anyone who has stumbled across a field full of bell-wearing Morris Dancers banging sticks together and riding toy horses around knows exactly what we’re going on about.

But not all folk is bad. Karine Polwart, for example, makes good folk music – folk music so good that she won the Best Newcomer prize at the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards 2005. And the new Karine Polwart single, I’m Gonna Do It All, is out on Easter Monday. You want to know what I’m Gonna Do It All by Karine Polwart sounds like? Calm down – we’ve got the flipping video for you.

We don’t know all that much about Karine Polwart, expect that she’s top mates with Future Pilot AKA, but we might suggest that Karine Polwart isn’t actually the girl singing in the I’m Gonna Do It All video. If she is, you have every right to fear for your safety – she looks like the kind of girl who’d take over the world by the time she’s 12 given half a chance.

Watch the Karine Polwart I’m Gonna Do It All video now

Folk is a bit of a dirty word - and anyone who has stumbled across a field full of bell-wearing Morris Dancers banging sticks together and riding toy horses around knows exactly what we're going on about. But not all folk is bad. Karine Polwart, for example, makes good folk music - folk music so good that she won the Best Newcomer prize at the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards 2005. And the new Karine Polwart single, I'm Gonna Do It All, is out on Easter Monday. You want to know what I'm Gonna Do It All by Karine Polwart sounds like? Calm down - we've got the flipping video for you. We don't know all that much about Karine Polwart, expect that she's top mates with Future Pilot AKA, but we might suggest that Karine Polwart isn't actually the girl singing in the I'm Gonna Do It All video. If she is, you have every right to fear for your safety - she looks like the kind of girl who'd take over the world by the time she's 12 given half a chance. Watch the Karine Polwart I'm Gonna Do It All video now
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Pete Doherty ‘As Good As John Lennon’

by C J Davies

Pasty-faced waste of flesh Pete Doherty has mounted the lunacy highway afresh after comparing himself to jovial dead Beatle John Lennon. Speaking to a group of reporters after a show at an Austrian Porn Club – my, a porn club, that’s so unconventional and daring that hecklerspray fears our heads may explode – Pete Doherty [...]

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Eminem And Wife Divorcing Already

by Shawn Lindseth

hecklerspray is 1/4 gypsy. Our grandmother on our maternal side was never seen without a colourful pirate-like neckerchief on her scalp and a solitary giant hoop earring hanging down one side of her head or the other. The reason we bring this up is because we’ve obviously inherited some of her gypsy powers – more [...]

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Britney Spears Hires Dwarf Cake Presenters

by Shawn Lindseth

Dwarves are awesome no matter what type you prefer. On the one hand they’re expert at killing stuff with axes, on the other hand they’re very short and wondrous to behold. We’re the first to admit everything we’ve learned about dwarves we learned from the sick kaleidoscope that is Hollywood cinema. What we know for [...]

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Suge Knight Declares Himself Bankrupt

by Stuart Heritage

Music mogul and all round man-mountain Suge Knight has been staring the death of his Death Row records right in the kisser, and now he has taken a big step to save it – Suge has declared himself bankrupt. Suge Knight bankrupt? Frankly, we’re fearful for Suge – although Death Row records has something more [...]

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Watch The King Biscuit Time Kwangchow Video Now

by 586 MEDIA

You know how brilliant The Beta Band were? And how even in the middle of Monolith you’d still find something to love? And then how you went off The Beta Band when you realised that Assessment sounded a bit like U2? Well, guess what? Steve Mason from The Beta Band has stumbled out of the [...]

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