From the category archives:

Games

GTA 3 Coming To Mobiles – More Reason To Not Look At People On The Bus

by Robin Darke

Listen up losers, there’s something you need to know. It won’t help you find a girl/boy/dogfriend, you pathetic sacks of rotting fat molecules. And it won’t get you more money to spend on any more useless gifts for your loved ones; those loved ones who only keep you around until the end of the year [...]

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Video Game Review: Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

by hecklerspray staff

When the first Uncharted game came out way back in 2007, it took us a while to buy it. It’s not Drake’s fault, it’s his big-titted predecessor Lara Croft, and the infuriating Tomb Raider series. It’s not her big polygonal boobs, or the clipped British accent, or the fact that she’s so ridiculously minted she [...]

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Grand Theft Auto V Trailer: Jet Skis, Small Faces And The Same Graphics

by Mof Gimmers

The video game equivalent of Child’s Play is back with yet another sequel, taking the number in the GTA franchise to such an amount that it now rivals the amount of times Kerry Katona has relapsed on ket ‘n’ chips. It’s gone to the ’80s, ’60s London and even the present day (which is a [...]

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Grand Theft Auto V Is Imminent: What Would You Like To See?

by Mof Gimmers

The Grand Theft Auto franchise is one of the most wildly successful things to ever crash land onto our pop-culture radar. Basically, the release of GTA3 was the moment that Hollywood realised it was about to have its thunder stolen by video games. Flicking through radio stations while murdering completely innocent civilians for no reason [...]

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Everything You Need To Know About FIFA 12 [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

The FIFA franchise, no matter what your hooting sap chums say, is the greatest series of football (or soccer if you prefer) games, EVER. Pro Evo barely registers on the scale in comparison (that said, it’s as pointless comparing the two as it is comparing Super Mario Bros. to eight slices of toast) as FIFA [...]

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F1 2011 Game Trailer Released, Essential Purchase For Instant Boredom

by Matthew Laidlow

Computer games are brilliant aren’t they? Designed by humans who are scared of the outside world, they open us up to a world of possibilities. As a child, your imagination and a few cardboard boxes let you create mystical worlds that provided continuous adventure. Now electrical firms in Japan can do the same with a [...]

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Game Review: Space Marine

by hecklerspray staff

The Games Workshop has stood as a shining beacon in town centres around the world as gathering spots for nerds, geeks and every available derisory word we can think of. We don’t feel bad saying that because some of us hecklerspray writers (cough ahem) were included in that ‘nerdy’ few who devoted far too much [...]

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Black Eyed Peas To Make Awful, Awful Video Game

by Mof Gimmers

If the Black Eyed Peas brand of dreadful music wasn’t bad enough, they’re going to infect your games console by making a game for you to get furious with, leaving you kicking your controllers out of the window and throttling yourself with the plug flex. That’s right! will.i.am, Fergie and the other two who don’t [...]

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Stupid Duke Nukem Forever Trailer Is Released

by Mof Gimmers

Dunderheaded, probably passed off as post-modernist satire, Duke Nukem is coming back in a bevvy of boobs, stupid weapons, grating asides and dreadful metal bands. Of course, those onside adore him. Everyone wonders why people still play first-person shooters. Either way, there’s a fizzing excitement in the gaming world as Duke Nukem Forever looms. It [...]

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Lady GaGa Reaches Out To The Worst Scum On Earth With Born This Way

by Mof Gimmers

There’s a whole bunch of people getting excited about the new Lady GaGa album (with a separate buncha people biting their nails after hearing the substandard ‘Edge Of Glory’), which includes some of the worst scum on Earth. Now, as we all know, GaGa just loves to reach out to those who are ostracised by [...]

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