From the category archives:

Games

SLACKERJACK – Bee Boxing

by Stuart Heritage

Have you ever tried boxing a bee? It’s impossibly hard – trying to instill any notion of organised sport into a bee’s tiny mind is hard enough, not to mention describing the finer technicalities of the Queensbury Rules.

But this version of Bee Boxing doesn’t actually involve any boxing. In fact, we’d go as far as saying that Bee Boxing should be renamed Bee Hive-Headbutting – because that’s all there is to it. Two beehives hanging from trees, and it’s your job – as a giant bee – to dart into the opposing hive and destroy it. And Bee Boxing is surprisingly involving. You should play it, because we want insect contact sports games to be the next big trend. Wasp Ultimate Cage Fighting here we come.

Play Bee Boxing now

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SLACKERJACK – Nex Game

by 586 MEDIA

Nex Game is simple, addictive and involves a man punching his way through walls of ice. What’s not to like?

Okay, so Nex Game is part of a promotional package for Pepsi, but let’s just ignore that little fact. Nex Game is a ridiculously simple flash game that requires nothing other than the well timed click of a mouse. A motion-captured man runs along your screen and every so often a large ice wall will approach. Click your mouse at just the right moment and he’ll punch his way through it, and then keep running till the next one.

You’ll be rewarded with some super funky music and some nice victory animations when your man manages to get through a wall. But watch out, the walls keep coming quick and fast in Nex Game. If you time it wrong he’ll thud headlong into the wall in an animation that will have you grimacing in sympathy. Be warned: the last Nex Game wall is double thickness and the only way through is a headbutt! This requires timing your click later than you have done for the previous walls and will probably take you quite a few goes to get right. Or maybe a day or two. But just imagine the sense of achievement!

Go on. Give Nex Game a go. You know you want to.

Play Nex Game now

Nex Game is simple, addictive and involves a man punching his way through walls of ice. What's not to like? Okay, so Nex Game is part of a promotional package for Pepsi, but let's just ignore that little fact. Nex Game is a ridiculously simple flash game that requires nothing other than the well timed click of a mouse. A motion-captured man runs along your screen and every so often a large ice wall will approach. Click your mouse at just the right moment and he'll punch his way through it, and then keep running till the next one. You'll be rewarded with some super funky music and some nice victory animations when your man manages to get through a wall. But watch out, the walls keep coming quick and fast in Nex Game. If you time it wrong he'll thud headlong into the wall in an animation that will have you grimacing in sympathy. Be warned: the last Nex Game wall is double thickness and the only way through is a headbutt! This requires timing your click later than you have done for the previous walls and will probably take you quite a few goes to get right. Or maybe a day or two. But just imagine the sense of achievement! Go on. Give Nex Game a go. You know you want to. Play Nex Game now
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SLACKERJACK – Brain Buster

by Stuart Heritage

Your brain is a muscle, and you should exercise it. That’s what everyone always says, isn’t it? But then – when you strap a tyre to your brain and go running on crowded beaches – all you get are funny looks.

A much better way to exercise your brain is to have a crack at Brain Buster. Brain Buster consists of four brain-cramping challenges: Reflexes – sorting colours at lightning pace, Music – following a brief note pattern, Probability – some mental shit about dice, and Spacial – finding all kinds of shapes. Brain Buster might not actually make you smarter, but at least you’ll know, um, more about dice if you play Brain Buster a lot.

Play Brain Buster now

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SLACKERJACK – Urban Reign Conquers

by Stuart Heritage

Urban Reign is a game that’s coming out on the PS2 pretty soon, and we’re told it’s sort of like Double Dragon but, like, a zillion times flashier and that.

How has Urban Reign chosen to promote itself over the internet? With a card game, that’s how. Urban Reign Conquers is the a violent version of Top Trumps, where you select your gang members, assign them ‘power points’ and challenge other gangs on the leaderboard to a fight. Lose a fight, you lose a card. And then there are all kinds of mini games to help boost your powers. If you start to play Urban Reign Conquers, we’d imagine you’ll be playing it for a long time.

Play Urban Reign Conquers now

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SLACKERJACK – Please The Art Critic

by Stuart Heritage

Here’s a game that requires skills that the average person just isn’t equipped with: the fine touch of a Renaissance artist.

In Please The Art Critic, a bald man with pretentious facial hair challenges you to create stunning masterpieces, and all Please The Art Critic asks you to do is, um, please the art critic. And it’s deeply involving, too – if you’re like us, you’ll spend hours and hours on Please The Art Critic, labouring and sweating over each picture, trying to please the art critic, ignoring his criticism again and again trying to meet his terrifically high standards until you deflate into a crumpled mess at your desk screaming “LOVE ME DADDY! LOVE ME!!” into your clenched fists.

Ahem.

Play Please The Art Critic now

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SLACKERJACK – Zombie Storm

by Stuart Heritage

Zombies are rubbish – it’s not so much that they stalk and bite the throats out of all kinds of unsuspecting humans that bothers us, but we just wish they were more enthusiastic about it.

In Zombie Storm, you get the chance to take sweet revenge on the zombie hordes. Zombie Storm is a top-down shooter, where you have to run around a city blasting holes in all kinds of evil zombies while trying to protect the terrified civilians. For a free online game, Zombie Storm is pretty huge, and pretty hard too. We’d happily spend the next few days doing nothing else but play Zombie Storm.

Play Zombie Storm now

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PS3: Has Sony Blown It?

by 586 MEDIA

Look at any computer game site or technology review and you will see that Sony, the company everyone expected to walk away with E3 this year, in fact had the poorest showing in LA last week.

PS3 fansites are awash with anger and bile as Playstation fanatics vent their spleen at Sony’s E3 announcements. The key source of gripe? Since the release of its tech specs at E3 last year the rumour mill has been constantly churning as to what price Sony will put on their next gen behemoth, the PS3.

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SLACKERJACK – Catch It

by Stuart Heritage

Catch It is a German game, so there’s every chance that this explanation is wrong. But this is how we’ve been playing Catch It, so there.

Basically, in Catch It, all these faces stream past the screen – sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes happy, sometimes angry. We suppose Catch It is a bit like a dream, but not one of those dreams where our Dad is beating us over and over with one of his golf clubs – a dream with, um, lots of different faces in it. Anyway, we’re rambling. Can you catch as many of the happy-looking faces as possible while missing all the angry faces? Catch It wants to find out.

Play Catch It now

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SLACKERJACK – Pendulumeca

by Stuart Heritage

Swinging can mean several things; like an old man who likes dancing, or a creepy person into wife-swapping. Pendulumeca is a swinger game, but in a purer way.

All Pendulumeca asks you to do is to swing as far as you can along a spiky-floored corridor without smashing yourself to bits along the way. You do this by shooting a rope with a grappling hook into the ceiling and swinging along. Like a pendulum. Pendulumeca. Pendulum. Pendulumeca. Get it? Very clever. Pendulumeca isn’t as easy as it looks, and that’s mostly thanks to the annoying happy hardcore soundtrack.

Play Pendulumeca now

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SLACKERJACK – Rainmaker

by Stuart Heritage

Ferry Halim games are sweet, inventive and beautiful to look at, but – by God – they’re a bit girly. Don’t believe us? Play Rainmaker.

While a lot of Slackerjacks are all about guns and exploding evil monsters, in Rainmaker you play a lovely little boy sitting on a cloud making rain by striking it gently with a little hammer. Ahhh. Why does the Rainmaker boy hit the clouds to make it rain? Simple, because the Rainmaker boy wants to turn all the blackbirds into beautiful white doves. Wait, hang on… Rainmaker is a game all about ethnic cleansing. Ahhh, Rainmaker is gorgeous and politically dubious. Sweet.

Play Rainmaker now

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