Game Reviews
Guff About Videogames: Six Days In Fallujah
Owing to spectacular speculative reactions from reactionary types in a typical fashion, Konami have decided to pull their support for the upcoming Six Days in Fallujah, currently being developed by Atomic Games. One more tally mark for the column entitled 'things that we expected to happen, but kind of hoped wouldn’t as it’s a bit of a rash, daft and kneejerk decision, much like the reactions of those who commented on the story to the usual tabloid rags'. We’re working on the title of that column.
Owing to spectacular speculative reactions from reactionary types in a typical fashion, Konami have decided to pull their support for the upcoming Six Days in Fallujah, currently being developed by Atomic Games. One more tally mark for the column entitled 'things that we expected to happen, but kind of hoped wouldn’t as it’s a bit of a rash, daft and kneejerk decision, much like the reactions of those who commented on the story to the usual tabloid rags'. We’re working on the title of that column.
Guff About Videogames: GTA Fail? Pirates?
We all know the PC and Nintendo DS are viable gaming formats full to the brim of fantastic, must-play titles and owned by the hardest of the hardcore. What’s also true is the fact that these formats are blighted by their owners, who all seem to be pirates or idiots that don’t actually play real games. They’re more likely to play Hello Kitty: Big City Dreams than something actually worth more than a millisecond of your time. Like, say, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.
We all know the PC and Nintendo DS are viable gaming formats full to the brim of fantastic, must-play titles and owned by the hardest of the hardcore. What’s also true is the fact that these formats are blighted by their owners, who all seem to be pirates or idiots that don’t actually play real games. They’re more likely to play Hello Kitty: Big City Dreams than something actually worth more than a millisecond of your time. Like, say, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.
Guff About Videogames: Relentless Stupidity Edition
It’s difficult to think of awards to give for the dumbest gaming stories to come out of the news in a week, seeing as there are so damn many. While we think we managed to get through a week without any stories on how gaming is going to destroy us all, there are still the obvious little snippets here and there that pop out and make you sigh/laugh like a particularly twattish hyena.
It’s difficult to think of awards to give for the dumbest gaming stories to come out of the news in a week, seeing as there are so damn many. While we think we managed to get through a week without any stories on how gaming is going to destroy us all, there are still the obvious little snippets here and there that pop out and make you sigh/laugh like a particularly twattish hyena.
Guff About Videogames: April Fool
April Fool’s Day is rubbish once you’re past the age of about eight, but the games industry seems to have bucked this trend a fair amount. Look at Volition with their Ostrich Hammer, for example. What originally started as some dedicated gamers (read: twitpots on NeoGAF) slagging off Red Faction: Guerrilla eons ago became a brilliant send-up of said pots of twit, then went on to become an actual in-game item. Brilliant. It’s a sign that it isn’t just the BBC and hecklerspray that pull out incredible April Fool’s’’s’.
April Fool’s Day is rubbish once you’re past the age of about eight, but the games industry seems to have bucked this trend a fair amount. Look at Volition with their Ostrich Hammer, for example. What originally started as some dedicated gamers (read: twitpots on NeoGAF) slagging off Red Faction: Guerrilla eons ago became a brilliant send-up of said pots of twit, then went on to become an actual in-game item. Brilliant. It’s a sign that it isn’t just the BBC and hecklerspray that pull out incredible April Fool’s’’s’.
Guff About Videogames: The GDC
The Game Developers Conference (or GDC as we in the kool krew call it) has finished, and in its wake lies a great big pile of nothing much. While it is true that this is more the development wing of gaming shows, as opposed to the ferociously commercial events such as E3 and the like, it’s still disappointing that we didn’t get any HUGE, LIFE-CHANGING announcements. Like a new add-on for the PS3 made of human thoughts.
The Game Developers Conference (or GDC as we in the kool krew call it) has finished, and in its wake lies a great big pile of nothing much. While it is true that this is more the development wing of gaming shows, as opposed to the ferociously commercial events such as E3 and the like, it’s still disappointing that we didn’t get any HUGE, LIFE-CHANGING announcements. Like a new add-on for the PS3 made of human thoughts.
Guff About Video Games: OnLive
The way we all play games is about the be changed forever, thanks to a little something called The Phantom... Oh no, wait – that’s an intro from a few years ago. Before things went on to stay exactly the same as they’ve always been. No, this time they’ve announced something called OnLive – a system that is set to revolutionise the way we think about playing games, or something. Our Cynic Glands are twitching with anticipation.
The way we all play games is about the be changed forever, thanks to a little something called The Phantom... Oh no, wait – that’s an intro from a few years ago. Before things went on to stay exactly the same as they’ve always been. No, this time they’ve announced something called OnLive – a system that is set to revolutionise the way we think about playing games, or something. Our Cynic Glands are twitching with anticipation.
Game Review: Halo Wars: Xbox 360
What happens when you have the Halo franchise, a good one that sells a ton, which is primarily the stomping ground of 14-year-old American boys? Why, you release a more cerebral game based in the universe, obviously, leaving the world with Halo Wars. That makes sense, doesn’t it? Brash, loudmouthed little Yanks love thinking, don't they? Hmm?
What happens when you have the Halo franchise, a good one that sells a ton, which is primarily the stomping ground of 14-year-old American boys? Why, you release a more cerebral game based in the universe, obviously, leaving the world with Halo Wars. That makes sense, doesn’t it? Brash, loudmouthed little Yanks love thinking, don't they? Hmm?
GAME REVIEW: You’re In The Movies
Those looking for a real game to sink hours of (apparently) wasted time into look away now - those thinking "wow, I really want to play the crap out of Fallout 3" or "I love the pitched online battles of Gears of War 2" should probably just go away. You're In the Movies isn't going to appeal to you. Right: now they've gone we can get down to business. We assume if you're still reading this it means you know absolutely nothing about games, nor do you really care to know.
Those looking for a real game to sink hours of (apparently) wasted time into look away now - those thinking "wow, I really want to play the crap out of Fallout 3" or "I love the pitched online battles of Gears of War 2" should probably just go away. You're In the Movies isn't going to appeal to you. Right: now they've gone we can get down to business. We assume if you're still reading this it means you know absolutely nothing about games, nor do you really care to know.
