Game Reviews
Guff About Video Games – Special “Let’s Ignore E3″ Edition
It's E3 this week in LA, and we have our intrepid reporter Dave over there covering everything in his periodic updates. What this means is there's little else going on in the gaming world and it's hard for us to think of much else to cover. So why not just go read Dave's E3 columns for your fix on the breaking news and just to see him boasting about how he gets to go to LA for free like a massive, massive twerp. Jealousy: our strong point. But read on for things we've been trying to think about this week while we avoid the thought of E3. Namely: why summer is stupid and ruins gaming, why Demon's Souls is stupid and ruins gaming and why the recession is stupid and ruins gaming.
It's E3 this week in LA, and we have our intrepid reporter Dave over there covering everything in his periodic updates. What this means is there's little else going on in the gaming world and it's hard for us to think of much else to cover. So why not just go read Dave's E3 columns for your fix on the breaking news and just to see him boasting about how he gets to go to LA for free like a massive, massive twerp. Jealousy: our strong point. But read on for things we've been trying to think about this week while we avoid the thought of E3. Namely: why summer is stupid and ruins gaming, why Demon's Souls is stupid and ruins gaming and why the recession is stupid and ruins gaming.
Hecklerspray at E3: Rock Band: The Beatles
Fancy playing the drums as badly as Ringo Starr? Well, now you can, thanks to a new video game which allows you to sing, strum and drum along to your favourite Beatles tracks – and Octopus’s Garden. The Beatles: Rock Band was officially launched by Sir Paul McCartney and Starr at the start of E3 in Los Angeles and will be released in September. They were even joined by Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison, the wives of the dead half of the Fab Four, John Lennon and George Harrison.
Fancy playing the drums as badly as Ringo Starr? Well, now you can, thanks to a new video game which allows you to sing, strum and drum along to your favourite Beatles tracks – and Octopus’s Garden. The Beatles: Rock Band was officially launched by Sir Paul McCartney and Starr at the start of E3 in Los Angeles and will be released in September. They were even joined by Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison, the wives of the dead half of the Fab Four, John Lennon and George Harrison.
Hecklerspray at E3: Microsoft’s New Motion Controller
If your idea of fun is talking to your TV and jumping around your room like an arthritic monkey with an itchy bum then we have some very exciting news. Microsoft has come up with a way to play console games without controllers. Compatible with any Xbox 360 system, the ‘Project Natal’ sensor was finally given its first public outing by Microsoft at a celebrity-packed press conference, prior to E3, in which they also unveiled a strategy for making the company’s game console a gateway for movies, television and social networking. So what does it do? Well, it’s basically a piece of kit that tracks your full body movement in 3-D.
If your idea of fun is talking to your TV and jumping around your room like an arthritic monkey with an itchy bum then we have some very exciting news. Microsoft has come up with a way to play console games without controllers. Compatible with any Xbox 360 system, the ‘Project Natal’ sensor was finally given its first public outing by Microsoft at a celebrity-packed press conference, prior to E3, in which they also unveiled a strategy for making the company’s game console a gateway for movies, television and social networking. So what does it do? Well, it’s basically a piece of kit that tracks your full body movement in 3-D.
Hecklerspray At E3: Our E3 Predictions
This week, erstwhile hecklerspray listmaker extraordinaire David Schwartz has flown out to California to cover the E3 expo. Here's the first instalment of his E3 diary... Five minutes in LA and I am stalking someone already – Snoop Dogg. He was in the same passport control queue as us and almost made the several days we spent in it worthwhile. Of course, we tried to have word with him but were soon scared off by his bodyguard, who is officially the biggest person I have ever seen (take note Norris McWhirter). I think he ate the last journalist who had the temerity to ask Snoop a question and then flossed with his photographer.
This week, erstwhile hecklerspray listmaker extraordinaire David Schwartz has flown out to California to cover the E3 expo. Here's the first instalment of his E3 diary... Five minutes in LA and I am stalking someone already – Snoop Dogg. He was in the same passport control queue as us and almost made the several days we spent in it worthwhile. Of course, we tried to have word with him but were soon scared off by his bodyguard, who is officially the biggest person I have ever seen (take note Norris McWhirter). I think he ate the last journalist who had the temerity to ask Snoop a question and then flossed with his photographer.
Guff About Videogames: Heather Mills Is Bionic Commando
It’s happened before and it will happen again – stories that are simply too good, that write themselves and just don’t need any additional comment to make them funny. Obviously that won’t stop us from commenting on them, as we’re nice like that. This week came the particularly special news that ex-Beatle-ex and hecklerspray mainstay Heather Mills was asked to appear in the Capcom game Bionic Commando.
It’s happened before and it will happen again – stories that are simply too good, that write themselves and just don’t need any additional comment to make them funny. Obviously that won’t stop us from commenting on them, as we’re nice like that. This week came the particularly special news that ex-Beatle-ex and hecklerspray mainstay Heather Mills was asked to appear in the Capcom game Bionic Commando.
Guff About Videogames: Wait, Games Are Good For Us Now?
Gaming is normally covered by news outlets as one of the worst threats to our Way of Life imaginable, guilty for murder, destruction and the general destruction of the human race as we know it. So it’s always nice when there’s a single thing in the mainstream press that manages to be both positive and reasonably interesting. Well, more interesting than Cooking Mama selling four million. Four million. Shock of all shocks, there have been at least three whole stories reported on by real news places over the last week, all of which avoiding the urge to decry gaming as the arbiter of doom and one even slating Keith Vaz. Amazing.
Gaming is normally covered by news outlets as one of the worst threats to our Way of Life imaginable, guilty for murder, destruction and the general destruction of the human race as we know it. So it’s always nice when there’s a single thing in the mainstream press that manages to be both positive and reasonably interesting. Well, more interesting than Cooking Mama selling four million. Four million. Shock of all shocks, there have been at least three whole stories reported on by real news places over the last week, all of which avoiding the urge to decry gaming as the arbiter of doom and one even slating Keith Vaz. Amazing.
Guff About Videogames: Warm Weather Roundup
It’s getting to summertime now, so there really isn’t much going on in the world of gaming – some previews here, some other things there and a lot of press gumph everywhere else. That won’t stop us from finding fault in the few news nuggets that are plopped out, though.
It’s getting to summertime now, so there really isn’t much going on in the world of gaming – some previews here, some other things there and a lot of press gumph everywhere else. That won’t stop us from finding fault in the few news nuggets that are plopped out, though.
Guff About Videogames: Pointless Rumour Edition
What would videogames be without rumours? Probably pretty much the same as always, to be honest. Except we would miss out on about 78% of the news reported on gaming, discussion would decrease by around 39% and overall excitement levels would generally dissipate to around 13.645% of their original level. Frankly, rumours are what make the gaming world go round; so thank crikey there have been a load in this last week – rumours that we can look at, read and get excited/annoyed/indifferent/call out MEGATON about! Wow! So here are some rumours.
What would videogames be without rumours? Probably pretty much the same as always, to be honest. Except we would miss out on about 78% of the news reported on gaming, discussion would decrease by around 39% and overall excitement levels would generally dissipate to around 13.645% of their original level. Frankly, rumours are what make the gaming world go round; so thank crikey there have been a load in this last week – rumours that we can look at, read and get excited/annoyed/indifferent/call out MEGATON about! Wow! So here are some rumours.
