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Features

hecklerspray 2012 Death Predictions List!

by Sophie Hall

So. Death! Pretty serious stuff. Pretty bad all round, you could say. Like that time that gentleman from the news died. Not the Bin Laden one, the other one. Not Jeremy Beadle. Oh no, wait, it was Jeremy Beadle, wasn’t it?  It was always Jeremy Beadle. Oh god, it really was terrible about Jeremy Beadle. [...]

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The Tumblr Trawler: Suicidal Kittens Fired Due To Filthy Texts From Someone Called “Bennett”

by Michael Park

These are dark times for that there internet. As the vultures circle around the rotting carcass of the World Wide Web, we disembark our safe harbour to take a tour round the Cape of Good Tumblr. This is The Tumblr Trawler… Naturally, we’re assuming that some of you have never even seen a Tumblr, let [...]

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Awesome or Off-Putting: The Man Who Flew Over Coney Island

by Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable. Generally speaking, people don’t fly with out some kind of machine keeping them aloft. You know, like an airplane, a helicopter or [...]

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Badvertising: Play Weight Watchers By Blinding & Deafening Yourself

by Michael Park

OI! FATTY! IT’S JANUARY SO YOU’D BEST GET ON THE TREADMILL! Is what I’d be shouting at you if I wasn’t one of you; a Festive over-indulger that left a world of salad and steak for one populated almost exclusively by Toblerone and Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. We’ve all been there and now you’re probably sitting [...]

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The Tumblr Trawler: Kurt Vonnegut Holds Godzilla Summit In Treetops

by Michael Park

Yes, it’s that time again when hecklerspray leads you by the hand through the murky, briny underbelly of the internet in our Tumblr Trawler. For those of you that might be wondering, it’s actually a real boat that we use to burn the carcasses of hecklerspray writers who have passed onto Valhalla.  It’s been a [...]

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Creased or Christmas? Hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

by Michael Park

This week’s Creased or Folded is FESTIVELY called Creased or Christmas. This week, things that are bad are creased (as usual) and things that are folded are Christmas. It’s really that simple. Christmas Massive Surcharges are going and Michael O’Leary is said to have spat out his breakfast smoothie of liquidised Euros. Rare Clouds! It’s [...]

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HecklerPlay: And A Very Festive Dubstep Christmas To You

by Matthew Laidlow

Alongside all the presents and sherry we receive at this time of year, it’s also a time of year where we have to put up with a variety of seasonal music. Why we only get terrible holiday songs at Christmas is a mystery to us. Surely someone would have exploited the magic of Jesus rising [...]

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Badvertising Christmas Special Part IV: It’s Not Christmas Without A Coke

by Michael Park

By now the haze of Christmas parties is bound to have worn off and you’ll be sitting there with nothing to show from the festive period but a photocopy of your genitals and an unplanned pregnancy; you’re probably looking back on the month or so preceding this and thinking, “Where did it all go wrong?” [...]

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Pop Promos: It’s Stupid Christmas

by Lauren Mullineaux

The blaring sound of happiness triumphing is overpowering these days, suppose it must be some sort of seasonal holiday that once again we have failed to understand, yet attempt to embrace by eating chocolates out of crassly wrapped boxes. What do you guys get from this? All we get is fat which in turn makes [...]

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The Tumblr Trawler: Replace Ryan Goslings Face With Barack Obama & Gary Busey

by Michael Park

Yes folks, it’s not a festive edition of The Tumblr Trawler and let us tell you why not; Christmas is rubbish. It’s especially rubbish when it comes to memes. Still, here’s this week’s trawl through the briney depths. 5. Replace Face: Want to see what Jason Statham, Danny Trejo & Donald Trump would look like [...]

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