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10 - Two seconds after the film ended, she threw the boy into the tree and wiped her genitals on the wall (she didn’t)…

9 - Note to self: write these down. It’s a matter of time, kid - Holytaco

8 - How to smuggle. If you are an idiot - Cracked

7 - Terrible superhero movies. The most deserved number one we’ve seen in a list for a long time - Mania

6 - You suck at Photoshop. A tutorial - Atom

5 - BABY ON A ROLLERCOASTER! - YouTube

4 - Thank you Japan, for giving cats the comeuppance they’ve deserved for so long - YouTube

3 - A video of some disturbing eggs - I Am Bored

2 - Dear the present. We hate you for not being like this - YouTube

1 - Some children deserve pain. This is one of them - Collegehumor

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Imagine, if you will, that you are a burglar of the utmost skill. You patiently search neighbourhood after neighbourhood looking for the perfect house to rob - and then you find one. There are at least ten newspapers on the front porch, mail is spilling out of the box and there are two cars in the driveway with at least a foot of snow covering the both of them.

You breeze on into their living room, fill a pillowcase with all their valuables - but then you can’t leave because a freaking ghost won’t let you.

Literally.

Read the rest of this entry »

Grab your joysticks – because today we are looking at the sexiest video game babes ever!

A bunch of pixels they may be – but, let’s face it, for some men, it’s the closest they’ll ever get to playing around with a real woman.

Now, we know what you are thinking – that’s a pretty messed-up list. How could a video game character be sexy? Why not focus on real women instead? And you would be totally right. In fact, we are hanging our heads in shame as we speak.
Read the rest of this entry »

10 - If any of you are new to the internet, please be warned that about four-fifths of it is exactly like this…

9 - A man visits the set of Terminator Salvation and does his best not to point out that it’s really going to suck. A lot - Premiere

8 - Burger porn. It’s OK for work, unless you work for PETA. Then you will DIE - Houstonpress

7 - There’s a fire-breathing robot dog in London. Just, you know, a heads-up - Fanboy

6 - The best virals of the year. The fact that we recognise all of these is proof that we need a new job - Videogum

5 - 10 things some bloke wants Apple to make. Clearly missed off ‘girlfriend’ on purpose - Techradar

4 - Something good from The Onion - Theonion

3 - Scientists can detect dementia by gauging how well they understand sarcasm. Note to 85% of our readers: you all have dementia - News

2 - Nintendo terrifies the young - Gonintendo

1 - Mean, mean quotes. Memorise them all - Menshealth

This week’s on and off.

Folded:

• Star Stories: Elton John (“I’m bald!!” He is, you know)
• Drambuie Cream (now impossible to buy in the UK, which is annoying because it’s festive and tastes nice)
• Louis Theroux: Law and Disorder in Johannesburg (normally irritating, now interesting. Top telly)
• Lily Allen’s new song is not terrible (ugh, we’re filthy, someone run us a bath)
• Advent iCal (lameo fun advent calendar for the few days we have left)

Creased:

• Terminator Salvation trailer (Robot Jox for the new millennium? Only Bale and his shoutyness can make this work)
• Sundays (still as deathly boring as when you were a kid)
• Early TV guides (thanks to Christmas publishing dates, if you pick one up this week it’ll probably be for February)
• Haters (where did this stupid word come from? You’re a hater, she’s a hater - or ‘hatter’ as it’s often spelt on this site. Does anyone over the age of fourteen actually say it out loud? Hope not)
• Slim David Mitchell (judging by last week’s appearance on Have I Got News For You, those extra pounds were the source of all his powers)

10 - Haven’t got an iPhone but still want to look like a tit on an ocarina? Here’s your answer…

9 - 40 inspirational speeches in two minutes. Why? We couldn’t be bothered to find out - Cinematical

8 - Russell Brand in unsurprising ’sunglasses at night’ moment - Popsugar

7 - People who drink tea are better than people who drink coffee. The following link isn’t proof of that in any way, but we just wanted it out there - DivineCaroline

6 - Oh Kung Fu Santa, won’t you be our wife? - Attuworld

5 - The finest knock-off dolls you will ever see. Flash from Star Raiders is a particular favourite - Toplessrobot

4 - We defy anyone to come up with a better headline than ‘Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?’ - Asylum

3 - Scientists can now pull images directly from your brain. We saw a porno about this exact thing once - Pinktentacle

2 - Horrific body modifications. Don’t click if… actually, just don’t click - Cracked

1 - Just so we all know, this is the song to be played at our funeral. All the way through - Best Week Ever

10 - First-born children: this is how you stop your parents ignoring you in favour of your younger siblings…

9 - Want to see the most nightmarish Robert Pattinson doll that will ever be made? Oh, OK - Best Week Ever

8 - Science: women ARE slags after all - Telegraph

7 - Take That throw a big girly tantrum about Ronan Keating - Popsugar

6 - Male gold-diggers do exist, you know. Look, here’s some - Complex

5 - Vote for your favourite TV show of the year. Do it do it do it - BuddyTV

4 - And now, how condoms are made - I Am Bored

3 - Hey, here are some funny-looking animals. Funny! Funny animals! Funny! - ABC

2 - Crying men. Beautiful - Liquid Generation

1 - The seven worst guitar solos of all time. Sadly no All You Need Is Love here, but number one made us cry with laughter for a solid minute - Spike

10 - This. Is. Wonderful…

9 - The best and worst Christmas songs ever. Each of them, in its own way, is magical - Metromix

8 - 100mph train crash test - YouTube

7 - Delicious food that might kill you - Asylum

6 - Disgusting food that won’t. Genuine request: does anyone know where we can buy these? - Flickr

5 - 10 safe for work sexual fetishes to spice up your tonight - Booshmagazine

4 - Not really gamey enough for a Slackerjack, yet still weirdly satisfying - 4mations

3 - Teddy bears in space. Either very cute or very, very lonely - Dailymail

2 - Creepy Santas. Barricade your chimneys - OMGlists

1 - A ROBOT made of LEGO that can solve RUBIK’S CUBES? This is THE FUTURE! - I Am Bored

Hey Cute Overload Dot Com! You’re selling a lie! Animals aren’t the magical little bundles of adorable fluff that you make them out to be - they’re bloodthirsty savages hell-bent on ending humanity by hoof and paw. This is It Will Kill You.

According to legend, the reindeer is Santa’s trusty helper, capable of travelling around the world at logic-defying speeds, somehow balancing themselves, plus the unthinkably huge sleigh they carry behind them, on top of houses no matter how pointy the roof and manage to use their own noses as a kind-of inbuilt hazard light. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

The truth is that reindeers are vicious killers, murdering anything from lichens to the occasional bird egg to fuel their insatiable lust for blood. The reindeer is a twisted killer that will not rest until humankind has been wiped from the face of the earth and, make no mistake, it will kill you.

True, that’s not actually a reindeer in the video and it’s probably only punching that man in the face because the man’s trying to shoot it, but we won’t tell anyone if you won’t.

10 - You heard the Mario Kart song, now watch, um, whatever this is…

9 - Want to make a cantilever chair out of cardboard? OK! - Instructables

8 - Disgusting food that costs more than your house - Neatorama

7 - The true spirit of Christmas, in charming animated form - Drawn

6 - Use Gmail? Google is giving away FREE STICKERS! - Lifehacker

5 - The internet in action: man takes picture, ends up in Iron Man - Adactio

4 - Disturbing puppets! Yay! - Toplessrobot

3 - 10 ways to waste lots of money - Kontraband

2 - Things we wish we had the time to do: make a giant Mario scene out of drawing pins - Thetanooki

1 - ‘Evander Holyfield Claims His Quest For Severe Brain Damage Keeps Him Fighting’. Oh, The Onion. Marry us - Theonion