Fresh from its victorious sinking of the Tumblr Trawler, Webthump is here to receive your adulation!
Well, not quite. We’ve donned our fisherman’s waders to have a carcinogenic rummage in the foetid, elbow-deep cesspool that is the Internet. All to bring you something to gawp at while fondling your shriveled genitals. We could have been doing something useful with our time, like whittling voodoo dolls of Russell ‘new relationship’ Brand from old lolly sticks.
From the congealed masses of pornography and dead Myspace pages we’ve managed to dredge up a few sparkling gems of entertainment. We’ve brought you 10 of the best, worst and weirdest that mankind’s collective intelligence can vomit up.
Seen something good on the web? Tell Dep Ed Michael about it and make all your dreams come true by getting your name on Webthump!
10.Sepp Blatter knows there’s no problem with racism in football. To prove the point, @thermoso sent us this website full of images of him not being racist.
9. A mysterious, inscrutable man calling himself “Roscoe” showed us this beautifully made Japanese anime. Yes, that is Hercule Poirot & Miss Marple. The theme song’s worth sticking around for.
This is the second week of us throwing open the floodgates of the internet to you people. Seen something exciting, interesting, plain weird or even just funny enough to draw a snort of laughter from Christopher Biggins? Well, give Dep Ed Michael a shout and he’ll put them in here and allow people to bask in your browsing glory.
7. Baseball! Everyone’s heard of it, thanks to Kevin Costner’s awareness-raising film ‘Field Of Dreams’ but what’s it actually all about? Who gives a flying spanner? @_Cabble found this video of the World Series logo flying out of an umpire’s arse. BEAT THAT, CRICKET!
6. You lot really adore kittens, don’t you? Is it their inability to grasp grammar or their cute, fuzzy faces? Who cares. @Janikakakaka sent in some kittens on album covers.
5. In what could be a confession, @jacksonliam sent us this story about a man that wants to spill his filthy man-seed in every Starbucks in New York. That’s 298 Starbucks.
4. @MelReeve told us about badly placed stickers. We can’t help but feel some of these may have been deliberate.
2. Our favourite Republican nuthouse Herman Cain has gone on Jimmy Kimmel Live to say he hasn’t been touching women up. He didn’t. Republicans don’t believe it. It makes them horny.
1. A review of Immortals by @JM_Underwood. To be fair, he didn’t send this to us because that would be massively narcissistic and we don’t encourage that kind of nonsense here. We can’t ever show you it though. Because the film is so laughably terrible, John’s review was removed from the site under the terms of the embargo. Here at hecklerspray, we’re not bound by that embargo so we’d like to say, not only is Immortals a terrible film but we demand justice for John’s review.
From now on, Webthump will be a collection of the best things that you, yes you, the readers have found on the internet. Exciting stuff!
All you have to do to get your name in lights is tweet the best thing you’ve seen on the internet recently at our scumbag deputy ed Michael (@GreatCollapso). It’s as simple as that.
4. David Thorne of 27b/6 just won’t stop tormenting poor ol’ Simon. It’s just like Ricky Gervais & Karl Pilkington. Only funny. (Sent in by @OrlaDoherty)
3. Are you a nob’ead? You might not be, it’s not really any of our business. Still, watch this video. (Much obliged, @CheShA)
2. Number two will forever be dedicated to Herman Cain until the day he either dies or takes over the world. The mad bastard has warned people to keep an eye on China- they might be developing nuclear weapons. (Danke schoen @thermoso)
10. Not content with being a famous actor/musician/turkey-peddler Martin Kemp has taken to inventing emoticons. Is there no end to this man’s talents?!
9. Hallowe’en’s coming so here’s a gentleman teaching you how to TEAR YOUR GOD DAMNED EYE OUT!! Or at least make it look like you did.
5. Sexism’s cool, right? That must be why this story’s on the Newsbeat page.
4. Just what in the name of blue balls is flarf poetry? It hardly matters. Or maybe this interview by Ruth Tolerton with poet Spencer Madsen will explain. MAYBE.
3. It’s almost Hallowe’en so of course you want to go as a… wait… a “sexy” Wolverine? Riggggghhhhht.
10. Ever wanted to see the inside of an HMV from the 60s’? A time when men were men, women were women and most dogs were astronauts. – Voices of East Anglia
9. This video from a while back of a series of wordplay jokes based on The Dark Knight really got our atomic batteries to power this week.
10. Some comedians are spectacularly joyless aren’t they? Here’s a tale of them not laughing at crude phalluses – Cock 9. Vijay Singh does the greatest golf shot ever… ever… EVER! IT TRAVELS ON WATER! 8. This is really rather beautiful. A Japanese girl who can fly. How wonderful – Levitate 10. Some comedians are [...]
10. Rioting? Pussies. – Purr 9. Sickeningly sweet commercial from WWF The world is where we live from WWF on Vimeo. 8. Sometime ‘sprayer, Jo Fuertes Knight, talks about the riots. It’s serious with some jokes. – Yoot 10. Rioting? Pussies. – Purr 9. Sickeningly sweet commercial from WWF The world is where we live [...]
Fresh from its victorious sinking of the Tumblr Trawler, Webthump is here to receive your adulation!
