Features and Columns
Who Wants To Hear Some Bad Accents? OK, So That’s Everyone…
As we all know, it's rude to insult the dead. They're dead. They can't hear what you're saying, and they can't be rude back. Plus, it's probably quite disrespectful, because, you know, they're dead. Come on. What kind of person are you? Anyway, the point is that we're not going to say anything rude about Heath Ledger's English accent in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, because he's dead, and it would be a cheap shot. Instead, we're going to list some other attempted accents, that may or may not be worse than Heath's, whilst kind of hinting that perhaps they were better. What we're not going to do is come out and say that his accent was totally rubbish. We're not that cruel. We would never say that. Ever. The man's dead. Here are some other appalling stabs at sounding English...
As we all know, it's rude to insult the dead. They're dead. They can't hear what you're saying, and they can't be rude back. Plus, it's probably quite disrespectful, because, you know, they're dead. Come on. What kind of person are you? Anyway, the point is that we're not going to say anything rude about Heath Ledger's English accent in The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, because he's dead, and it would be a cheap shot. Instead, we're going to list some other attempted accents, that may or may not be worse than Heath's, whilst kind of hinting that perhaps they were better. What we're not going to do is come out and say that his accent was totally rubbish. We're not that cruel. We would never say that. Ever. The man's dead. Here are some other appalling stabs at sounding English...
WEBTHUMP! October 7 2009
10 - Want a 14-inch television? Then go and kill 83,000 rats like this man did - Geekologie 9 - Here's a frankly incredible music festival in London that you should all go to - Freshonthenet 8 - Important boot news - Interestment 7 - Like Doctor Who? Like Doctor Who enough to watch an entire video about its new logo? You do? You're weird - Watchwithmothers
Get Free Perfume & Win A Holiday & Stuff
Two things we like but, as professional bloggers, haven't done in years are go on holiday and smell nice. We've forgotten what both of those things are like. But you, you lucky sods, have the chance to do both. After the jump is a widget where you can sign up and get sent free samples of 212 Sexy. Plus, if you submit your 'sexy places', you'll enter a competition to win a weekend in New York. That's geographical sexy places, obviously. You can't just write 'my balls'. That's not allowed. Apparently. Anyway, it's all after the jump.
Two things we like but, as professional bloggers, haven't done in years are go on holiday and smell nice. We've forgotten what both of those things are like. But you, you lucky sods, have the chance to do both. After the jump is a widget where you can sign up and get sent free samples of 212 Sexy. Plus, if you submit your 'sexy places', you'll enter a competition to win a weekend in New York. That's geographical sexy places, obviously. You can't just write 'my balls'. That's not allowed. Apparently. Anyway, it's all after the jump.
Top 15 Most Badass Videogame Weapons
You know, here at Hecklerspray, we deplore violence. But even we cannot fathom why people get in such a flap about videogame violence - it's not real. Besides, the more time some sweaty kid spends locked up in his room playing Grand Theft Auto, the less time he is out on the street causing mischief. It also means he can satisfy his bloodlust within the four walls of his bedroom – just like certain other urges teenage boys get. And if he wants to beat some poor old lady to death in the street, so be it. It's only pixels after all. Nobody gets hurt.
You know, here at Hecklerspray, we deplore violence. But even we cannot fathom why people get in such a flap about videogame violence - it's not real. Besides, the more time some sweaty kid spends locked up in his room playing Grand Theft Auto, the less time he is out on the street causing mischief. It also means he can satisfy his bloodlust within the four walls of his bedroom – just like certain other urges teenage boys get. And if he wants to beat some poor old lady to death in the street, so be it. It's only pixels after all. Nobody gets hurt.
Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is
Holidays and mini-breaks. Folded: The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please) Slovenia (radical) Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining) Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to ...
Holidays and mini-breaks. Folded: The BBC (for having the good sense to show Point Break last Sunday as a Patrick Swayze tribute. Roadhouse next please) Slovenia (radical) Free Batman: Arkham Asylum downloads (only map packs, but they are gratis so stop complaining) Saturday morning at the movies (just you and the rest of the loners, but an entire screen nearly all to ...
MySpace Trawl – The Lovely Sparrows
Some things in life just make our day. A puppy dog's smile, solid chocolate Kit Kats, not having to get a round in at the pub, bacon sandwiches for lunch, not having to do any work, realising it's quitting time after thinking it was only two o’clock, Firefox not crashing and finally, getting sent free stuff. Go on PR companies, you know you love us. Whenever bucketloads of music comes hurtling towards us, the majority of it can be summed up in a few words. 'Radiohead wannabes' and 'bum toss' are terms most frequently used. But when bands like The Lovely Sparrows come along, we can’t just simply say 'they make lovely sounding songs'. Partly because the word lovely is a bit vague, and even we’re not that lazy to recycle the band's own name in to a review.
Some things in life just make our day. A puppy dog's smile, solid chocolate Kit Kats, not having to get a round in at the pub, bacon sandwiches for lunch, not having to do any work, realising it's quitting time after thinking it was only two o’clock, Firefox not crashing and finally, getting sent free stuff. Go on PR companies, you know you love us. Whenever bucketloads of music comes hurtling towards us, the majority of it can be summed up in a few words. 'Radiohead wannabes' and 'bum toss' are terms most frequently used. But when bands like The Lovely Sparrows come along, we can’t just simply say 'they make lovely sounding songs'. Partly because the word lovely is a bit vague, and even we’re not that lazy to recycle the band's own name in to a review.
The Most Wonderful Pretend Prostitutes Of ALL TIME
Everyone knows that, in movies, it's tough being a woman. The roles on offer tend to only be those of kindly nuns, tearful wives silently rinsing cups in the sink, or unbelievable ball breakers. There is no real middle ground. Of course, one other role that we haven't mentioned yet is that of a wonderful prostitute. Everyone's played one, from Jane Fonda to Charlize Theron. So with that in mind, we thought it best to highlight the greatest on-screen hookers of them all.
Everyone knows that, in movies, it's tough being a woman. The roles on offer tend to only be those of kindly nuns, tearful wives silently rinsing cups in the sink, or unbelievable ball breakers. There is no real middle ground. Of course, one other role that we haven't mentioned yet is that of a wonderful prostitute. Everyone's played one, from Jane Fonda to Charlize Theron. So with that in mind, we thought it best to highlight the greatest on-screen hookers of them all.
WEBTHUMP! September 30 2009
10 - Want to go to a fancy secret Bee Stings album launch party in London on Friday? You should jolly well ask for an invite here, then - Beestings 9 - Here, have a pretty map of all 13,000 McDonalds branches in America - Geekologie 8 - What's the highest level of smarm that you think Simon Cowell could ever achieve? Double it. Double it again. You're still waaaay off - WWM 7 - Look, it's a lovely teasmade - Interestment
