It Will Kill You: Pilot Whale Some say that animals are living creatures and therefore must be treated with respect. We say DESTROY THEM! DESTROY THEM NOW! This is It Will Kill You. The pilot whale, of the Globicephala genus, is primarily known for its distinct rounded head, long-based dorsel fin and the fact that - as the video below clearly demonstrates - it feasts on human flesh and often fantasises about annihilating mankind forever. To reiterate, pilot whales are arseholes. Just look at what a pilot whale did to this poor diver, and remember - if you've ever listened to a whalesong CD, what you're probably listening to is a load of these fishy wankers discussing how much they'd like to disembowel your grandmother. Fact. Video after the jump...

It Will Kill You: Panda Listen to the internet and you'll think that animals are lovable creatures with wrinkly noses and big adorable eyes. They're not. They're arseholes. This is It Will Kill You. The traditional image of a panda is that of a docile, bamboo-chewing furball with no real interest in reproduction or causing harm to its environment. How completely wrong that is. Pandas, ...

It Will Kill You: Tiger

Believe the internet and you'll think that animals are adorable little fluffbaskets with big eyes that live in piles of laundry. They're not - animals are complete turds. This is It Will Kill You.

Think of tigers and what comes to mind? Tigger from Winnie the Pooh? Tony the Tiger from the Frosties adverts? Hobbes out of Calvin and

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It Will Kill You: Crocodile The internet is mainly full of fluffy kittens and sneezing pandas, but screw that. This is It Will Kill You. Because all animals are tossers. It's obvious that a crocodile will kill you if you give it the chance. They've hardly changed since the days of the dinosaurs, and that's because they're so good at killing ...

It Will Kill You: Polar Bear

Polar bears are arseholes. Yes, they look adorable and they advertise mints and they're a heartbreaking symbol of global warming, but they're also arseholes. Because they will kill you. The most carnivorous of all bears, the polar bear's diet usually consists of seal and walrus, which the bear stalks and then kills by smashing its skull with its paws. But ...

It Will Kill You: Anaconda

Fed up with endless internet pictures of two puppydogs kissing on the lips? Good, here's It Will Kill You.

This week's It Will Kill You is the Anaconda. Growing up to about 30 feet in length, the Anaconda is a type of aquatic boa that inhabits swamps and rivers in South America. The Anaconda will kill you by constriction. Looping

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It Will Kill You: Komodo Dragon

You know what we're sick of? Bloody internet folk banging on about otters and kittens and other assorted cute rubbish. It's time to fight back. It's time for It Will Kill You.

You know, animals aren't cute at all. Animals are bastards and would kill you in a second if you gave it the chance. All animals. Especially today's It

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