Victoria’s Secret? Well, it’s not really a secret at all.

Want to sell some underwear? Just get some of the hottest women alive to prance around in it.

It’s that simple. Seriously, stick Heidi Klum in an advert for anything and we would be at the front of the queue. Even if it is thrush cream.

Job done. But who are the hottest Victoria’s Secret models of all? Well, all we can say is, we certainly enjoyed trying to find out.

20. Marisa Miller

19. Karen Mulder

18. Rebecca Romijn

17. Olga Kurylenko

16. Jill Goodacre

15. Angie Everhart

14. Jarah Mariano

13. Selita Ebanks

12. Daniela Pestova

11. Bar Refaeli

10. Estella Warren

9. Chandra North

7. Alessandra Ambrosio

6. Niki Taylor

5. Laetitia Casta

4. Heidi Klum

3. Miranda Kerr

2. Gisele Bundchen

1. Adriana Lima

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The good and not so good.

Folded:

• The Road (not out in the UK until next year, but here is an early review because we can)
• Also coming next year: a game with hats (about time)
• Busting X Factor (vote for Jedward. They’ll win and the whole show will implode)
• Speeding (you might be able to. You are a doctor, right?)
• Emmanuelle Chriqui (hotter than Megan Fox, mainly because, unlike Fox, she doesn’t wear more make-up than your mother)

Creased:

• The singing guy who rips our ears out before, during and after every episode of Scrubs on E4 (we’re not the only ones)
• Jordan’s face (was never normal, but now she looks like Peter Weller, minus helmet, in Robocop)
• Remember Indy surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge? Want to recreate that mess in your bedroom for $175? (Here you go)
• The airport level in Modern Warfare 2 (Brooker has written about it and, as usual, he’s spot on)
• Rain (damn it, give us a rest will you?!)

Certain cities have various scenes that have been established over time. For bands that get involved, it’s all fine and dandy for them.

Look no further than Oasis and The Smiths from Manchester who set the bar for others to follow. But then again, not everyone wants to crank out indie music which continually sounds stale after every release. Still, a solid fan base will lap it up.

Other towns may not have such a strong musical heritage, but they put their stamp on where there from. Leicester, for example, may not be bursting with quality artists apart from breakaway act Kasabian – but do they really offer anything else apart from modernising Britpop ten years too late? Asides from producing tasty Walkers crisps, Leicester hasn’t been known for music. For some of you, this may change after listening to Silent Devices.

It almost sounds like an oxymoron. How can a band with the word ’silent’ in their name produce any noise? Is it just an elaborate and rubbish joke by us because we again forgot our submission deadline? Of course not. Of course not.

Silent Devices make music that has a soft and comforting feel to it. The slow-paced sounds don’t gradually build up and turn into something fast-paced and frenzied. Instead, the peppered addition of vocal over the hazy-sounding guitars make this perfect music for lounging around to. Put it this way, if Mogwai got a little bit happier and less cynical of the world, this is what they’d sound like. That’s unlikely to happen any time soon, so please invest in this lot instead.

For more:

Silent Devices MySpace

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9 - That Channel 4 3D season. Not great, is it? – Watchwithmothers

8 - Kim Kardashian with her mouth taped up. Make the most of it, folks – AmyGrindhouse

7 - Boy, Chris Rock’s dinner parties sure sound fun - Monsters And Critics

6 - Holy crap. Olly Murs from X Factor did Deal Or No Deal once. Good job he’s better at doing godawful Jamiroquai impressions than he is at saying some numbers to a man with a crap beard, eh? – Interestment

5 – Literally everything you could ever wish to know about John Travolta’s Saturday Night Fever suit – Clothesonfilm

4 - A chair, floating into space. Marvellous – Asylum

3 - A list of the 30 greatest action figures from the 1980s. We had 11. Anyone care to beat that? – Gunaxin

2 – But who wants to see a teddy bear stitched together from a placenta? – ABC

1 - We may have said this many times before, but Robert Popper is possibly the best man who ever lived…

I wonder if a fighter pilot would feel the same way about me playing Star Fox as I feel about you playing Guitar Hero. Yes, I do mean YOU.

You kids with your iBoxes and your X-Phones, lurching about with your  Wii steering wheels, Wii fridges, and Wii windows that display a cartoon image of the Wii street you Wii live on… I’ve seen you standing there with your fake plastic guitar, measuring the accuracy of your pretend rock music. And, though it pains me to say it, I’m beginning to hate you.

I don’t want to hate you, but that’s the way we’re headed, so I think it’s important for you to know that what you’re doing is wrong.

For the same price as a Wii with Guitar Hero (£270), you could get an Epiphone Les Paul 3-pick up Black Beauty. It takes 20 minutes to learn three chords, and another 20 minutes to write a song. By the time you’ve completed Guitar Hero on the hardest setting, you could be signed and on tour with The Shit Dragons, or whatever it is you call your actual band (you guys are AWESOME by the way – looking forward to your difficult second album).

Here’s why I hate Guitar Hero: Guitar Hero simulates something you can do in real life for the exact same amount of effort as just doing the thing in real life. It’s like high energy mime. It’s worse than mime, it’s mime squared. While most decent games do a good job of passing the time, Guitar Hero turns around and spits in the time’s face as it jogs by. And yet, for some reason, you like it.

To demonstrate this theory (and it is only a theory), here are the games I have enjoyed in the past, and proof that all of them would take more effort for less reward if you attempted to do them in real life…

Street Fighter II (SNES)

Ha-Do-Ken!

I do not lie on my CV, so if my CV says that I completed Street Fighter II on the hardest setting with every character except Zangief (and it does), then I did. To this day, I remain unstoppable as Blanka or Ken on the original SNES version, yet there is no cause that I feel passionate enough about in my own real world to warrant getting in a ring with Ryu and risking a blue fireball in the face.

Grand Theft Auto (Playstations 1, 2 and P)

OK, driving fast around town is fun and so perhaps is extorting money from legitimate businesses, but the best parts of the Grand Theft Auto series would not bode well in the real world, i.e. cruising around the city, looking for hilarious places to leap out of burning cars, roll across the road, and clunk an unsuspecting police officer on the head with a bat. In a real city, you’d be facing serious burns (the fiery kind and the frictiony kind), and probably a criminal record. Nobody wants that.

Goldeneye (N64)

Is he armed? Who knows?! Best to shoot him just in case. Or not. Argh!

Sneaking around, killing spies, hoping there’s a bullet proof vest lying around behind the next barrel of petrol… This sounds like a really stressful job, even with the cheats on. Thankfully it goes away when you turn the N64 off and you don’t have a license to kill anyone.

Mario Kart (SNES, N64)

What is his problem?

Racing Go-Karts against a dragon, a monkey, a princess, two plumbers, a weird armadillo man, Mussolini’s gay cousin, and a man with a mushroom for a head (all of whom can launch dead turtles at you to make you crash, whereupon you are rescued you from tumbling into infinity by a little orange potato man who sits on a cloud with a fishing rod) is more a waking nightmare than a fun day out. Best avoided.

Speedball 2 (Atari ST)

The graphics were amazing, though

This was the arguably the best sports game ever not to be based on a real sport. It took the form of a ball game where your team aimed to land a steel ball in the other team’s goal more times than they landed it in yours. A bit like football then, except that your opponent can score 10 points for injuring you in face, only to injure you again when you are substituted back into the game after all of your other team mates are knocked unconscious. You really don’t want that.

The Sims (PC)

Drown me

On the surface, The Sims is designed to simulate exactly the things most of us do in real life: washing our hands, eating meals, reading books, going to work, weeing, adopting babies, going to bed… It all seems fairly banal and real-life-friendly, but it’s not. First of all, it’s time-condensed, so you don’t actually have to stand there scrubbing your bits as your Sim takes a shower; second of all, The Sims live at the mercy of a cruel and whimsical god who is capable of drowning them by selling the steps to the pool.

Silent Hill (Playstation 2)

Not in my abandoned hospital, thank you very much

The opening sequence involves running through fog for ten minutes, followed by a swift change of reality that turns the world into a hellish landscape of twisted steel and rotting meat. A world where wild dogs and giant chicken people emerge from the shadows out to bite you in the night when all you have to fend them off is a bit of old pipe. I shouldn’t need to explain.

Zelda: The Ocarina of Time (N64)

Zelda, in real life

OK, I admit it. There is a part of me that wants to be a young hero with a sword and a horse who can save the world over and over again. But it’s magic and pretend, so I can’t.

Snake (old Nokia phone)

That snake wriggles around in solitary confinement, eating blocks that look like his own rear end and face as he tries to avoid bumping into himself. That’s just time consuming and embarrassing.

Tetris (Gameboy)

I don’t want to be the man responsible for manipulating geometrical bricks into tidy positions, only to have them disappear from existence every time I complete a row. Neither would my job would not be helped as the effects of gravity increase exponentially towards the end of the day. Rubbish.

Pro-Evolution Soccer (Playstations 1 through 2)

Wind, rain, mud, running about and getting kicked in the toes – these are all things I could do without. Aside from that, I think I might quite enjoy playing football. If the game forced me to do all of those things, I’d probably either play real football or not bother. This is why I don’t get Guitar Hero – it makes you do all the things you’d need to do to play a guitar, but you don’t learn to play… everyone’s laughing at you.

The only other game I can think of that compares to Guitar Hero is Solitaire on the PC, a card game for people who should be doing something else. Solitaire forces you to play Solitaire in the same way you would in real life – in fact, it’s better than Guitar Hero because it doesn’t prevent you from getting better at playing Solitaire, which isn’t possible anyway; it just robs you of your time and leaves you feeling slightly embarrassed if anyone ever catches you.

It’s time for Guitar Hero to carry the same weight of shame that Solitaire does, so please… either get yourself a real guitar, or minimise that shit when you see me coming. I’m watching you.

This was a guest post by Jimi Odell from Blogtired. He’s not joking, you know.

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Football wasn’t always a non-contact sport.

With all the diving, posing and play-acting you see in the Premiership and international football these days, it’s easy to forget there were times the Beautiful Game was anything but. In fact, football could be downright nasty – with the players below some of the main instigators.

Bring on the FA charge.

23. Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris

Former Chelsea defender known for his uncompromising tackles and his huge chopper. No wait.

22. Billy Bremner

Once described as 10 stone of barbed wire – and that was just his hair – Leeds and Scotland legend Bremner was an argument waiting to happen.  Well, he was Scottish, had ginger hair and was small.  Was so hard he even went toe to toe with tough-as-teak Kevin Keegan during the 1974 Charity Shield.

21. Norman Hunter

Nicknamed ‘bites yer legs’ for his weird sexual appetites. No, wait, it was because he was a tough, uncompromising defender. Played for the Leeds team every hates. Would have appeared higher, but for being beaten up by Franny Lee. See clip.

20. Graeme Souness

Our favourite story about the former Middlesbrough, Rangers and Liverpool midfielder is that Garth Crooks once whimpered he was ‘an uncompromising brute’. You can just imagine him saying that, can’t you? Only with a few more words. He could also play a bit. See clip above.

19. Luis Medina

The former Estudiantes star was so unpleasant even his mother didn’t like him. Was sent off during the 1968 World Club Championship for kicking the crap out of Georgie Best.

18. Roy McDonough

A tough tackler who racked up more cards than Clinton’s.

17. Roy Keane

The former Manchester United skipper was a nasty piece of work. Even Sir Alex was scared of him.

16. Willie Woodburn

Former Scotland and Rangers defender of the 1950s who was banned from the game for life after being sent off for the fifth time in six years.  Five sendings off? Doesn’t seem much does it, but when you consider you had to commit GBH to get sent off in the Fifties, it was probably fair enough.

15. Terry Butcher

The former England skipper was not the kind of man you would want to meet in a dark alley, especially when he’s covered in blood. Has a hard name too.

14. Giuseppe Bergomi

The Italian hardman would have tackled his own grandmother.

13. Tommy Smith

Legend has it Merseyside mothers kept a picture of him by the mantelpiece to keep them from the fire.

12. Jose Batista

The hardest player to ever play for Uruguay, which is really saying something. Just ask Gordon Strachan. Batista assaulted him in the first minute in the 1986 World Cup.

11. Bert Trautmann

It takes some balls to play in the English league when you were a German paratrooper during the Second World War. But what really makes the former Manchester City goalkeeper stand out is the fact he played on in the 1956 FA Cup final with a broken neck. Imagine players doing that now.

10. Chic Charnley

Obviously growing up with a stupid name toughened the former Partick Thistle player up. In fact, he holds the record for the most dismissals in British football. One story has it was once attacked during a training session by two men with samurai swords. The pair ran away.

9. Leonel Sanchez

The Chilean star played a starring role in the Battle of Santiago in 1962 – dubbed ‘the dirtiest match ever’. How? Well, he knocked out Humbero Maschio with a superb left hook. See clip above.

8. Duncan Ferguson

Former jailbird who once found two burglars in his house. Ferguson confronted the pair and was able to detain one of them who subsequently spent three days in hospital. The second man managed to flee but was eventually caught.

7. Miguel Angel Nadal

Probably remembered more for his penalty miss against England in Euro 1996, but Nadal was not dubbed The Beast of Barcelona for his dodgy haircut.

6. Claudio Gentile

Along with Danny Invincible and Leon Best, the Italian defender possibly has the least appropriate surname in football. Please send more suggestions.

5. Terry Hurlock

No one liked him, he didn’t care.

4. Andoni Goikoetxea

Not called the Butcher of Bilbao for his tasty meat cuts.

3. Stuart Pearce

Headbutted by Basile Boli in 1992 and barely flinched. Now that is the kind of players we want in the league nowadays. Psycho is a true legend. Could not resist putting the clip in.

2. Dave Mackay

The former Spurs and Derby star was man not to be trifled with.

1. Billy Whitehurst

A football journeyman who was rumoured to supplement his earnings by engaging in bare knuckle boxing bouts with local gypsies. There is also a story that he beat up Vinnie Jones while the pair were at Sheffield United. Not a man to annoy, so we’ll shut up now.

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Digestives and Rich Teas.

Folded:

• Modern Warfare 2: Price War (the supermarket battle royale)
• Salt (reads kinda cack; looks kinda Bourne)
• Planes, Trains and Automobiles (revisit this classic, particularly the sweary rental car bit, and understand why Steve Martin is going to make a hilarious host at next year’s Oscar’s)
• Dark nights (cosy…or cold, lonely and miserable. We’re going with cosy)
• The Greggs (time to reconsider that application form maybe?)

Creased:

• Queuing at midnight to buy Modern Warfare 2 (never has Shaun of the Dead been so vividly recreated in reality. Best to head home, we-thinks)
• “Too much of anything can you make you sick” (thank you, Cheryl, you finally get it)
• Spiced apple everything (candles, biscuits, shower gel, beer – you can tell it’s six weeks to Christmas)
• Dark mornings (when you need a light to find the bedroom door you know you should still be in bed)
• Ragging on Gordon Brown (okay so the guy made a mistake – several – but The Sun and co are being harsher than a bristle brush swab)

With 2009 kicking and screaming to a close, many magazines and other publications often spit out their best-of lists.

Usually it’s the opinion of one person sat in an office. Most of the time, people with any sense flick past them as they don’t need someone else telling them what is considered to be good.

Though we could use the arse end of 2009 to go over the artists we’ve looked at, we won’t. Instead, we’ll still try to at least bring you something creatively different and worth investing in. This week, we couldn’t pick a better artist for mixing things up than Bibio. Whilst we don’t know if it’s pronounced Bi-bio or Bib-io, the records released by him are bloody fantastic.

Signed up to Warp Records, Bibio has released three albums this year alone. Quite the busy individual, he’s pumped out more records than some people do in a decade. But is it just Bibio releasing a hoard of collected tracks for an easy payday, sacrificing quality over quantity? Thankfully not, everything he releases is top notch and our bank accounts are considerably emptier since discovering him.

Style wise, there is a lot going on. An interesting blend of field recordings mixed with droning electronics with a splashing of guitar and hints of folk make for an album full of tracks that makes you wonder where they’re going next. Just when the guitar comes in, everything gets swept in a lazy back beat that distorts and twists away.

Fire Ant - taken from his latest album Ambivalence Avenue – sums up what we’re wittering on about. The production is sublime as each of the songs elements come together and don’t get lost or frozen out as they battle to be heard.

For more:

Bibio MySpace page

Admittedly, the aeronaut who’s making the flight (Yves Rossy) is a Jetwing veteran and has a team of choppers, planes, search and rescue specialists and doubtless hordes of media pundits to catch him if he falls (the flight is the brainchild of Webtel.mobi, who are sponsoring the event), but a walk in the park it ain’t.

It promises to be a spectacular, if a little insane, challenge – and one for the history books regardless of how it ends. But how does flying between continents strapped to a sheet of carbon fibre stack up in terms of stupidity against the history of human flight? Luckily for you, we have some prime examples all lined up…

11 – The cross-channel jet-wing flight

The precursor to this month’s Webtel.mobi Intercontinental Challenge. To warm up for flying between Morocco and Spain, the jet-wing was used to cross the English Channel. This was dangerous for two main reasons – 1) it was the first time that anything like this had ever been attempted, and 2) Rossy planned to land in Dover, where there was every likelihood he’d end up getting bludgeoned to death by the locals because they’d mistaken him for a witch. This time around you can follow the progress of the challenge on Twitter at @the_challenge09.

10 – The Olympic rocketman

Back in 1984, it looked as though jetpacks were going to revolutionise the way in which human beings moved around. It’s now 25 years later, and what have we got? The Nissan Micra. Screw you, technology.

9 – Joe Kittenger

The definition of the word lunacy. Joe Kittenger is best known as the man who, in the name of science, once flew a hot air balloon 102,800 ft into the sky and then jumped out. On the way down, in -70C temperatures, Kittenger hit a speed of 614mph. And to think, we feel a bit queasy climbing up a ladder. In recent years, Boards Of Canada used footage of the freefall for their video to Dayvan Cowboy. Beautiful. But incredibly stupid.

8 – The annual Bognor Regis birdman competition

Maybe not as cool as Joe Kittenger, but just as stupid and more ridiculous-looking. Natural selection was invented to weed people like this out.

7 – Yogic Flying

Yes, that’s right, world peace will be achieved by sitting on a crashpad with your legs crossed and then sort of flapping around aimlessly for a bit. So thanks for that.

6 – Johnny Knoxville’s big red rocket

You may remember that Johnny Knoxville tried to ride a big red rocket over a lake in Jackass 2. You may remember that the rocket exploded with such force that Johnny Knoxville is lucky to be alive. You may remember that even this stunt wasn’t quite as stupid as when Chris Pontius drank the horse sperm.

5 – St Joseph Of Cupertino

From Wikipedia:

On October 4, 1630, the town of Cupertino held a procession on the feast day of Saint Francis of Assisi. Joseph was assisting in the procession when he suddenly soared into the sky, where he remained hovering over the crowd. When he descended and realised what had happened, he became so embarrassed that he fled to his mother’s house and hid. This was the first of many flights, which soon earned him the nickname “The Flying Saint.” On hearing the names of Jesus or Mary or the singing of hymns, he would go into dazed state and soar into the air. Joseph gave off a sweet smell because he was pure.

True story.

4 – Visa Parviainen

An important stepping stone between Joe Kittenger and this month’s intercontinental challenge. In 2005, Parviainen jumped out of a hot air balloon over Finland and then shot off with rockets in his boots. Humanity is great because of people like Visa Parviainen. Either great or stupid. We haven’t quite decided yet.

3 – Ermes Zamperla

“But what about the role that the human cannonball has played in the history of human flight?” You’re asking. What about it, reader? What about it indeed.

2 – Bear Grylls flying over Everest

To be fair, it only looks like Bear Grylls had journeyed over Mount Everest in a paramotor. But, you know Bear Grylls is famous for faking stuff, so we’re yet to be convinced that he didn’t just trampoline over a teacup or whatever.

1 – Icarus

The man who started it all. But only briefly. Seriously, what sort of divvy builds wings out of wax? Moron.

9 - Fingerless gloves: the critical re-evaluation – Interestment

8 - Things we’re now afraid of: getting trapped on an iceberg with three polar bears – Asylum

7 - This just in: bald bears are TERRIFYING – Geekology

6 – Shakira! Quick! Do something to your hair that’ll stop us fancying you quite as much! Good girl! – AmyGrindhouse

5 - Footage from the Concert For Care concert with Rob Brydon and that bald Irish bloke – Leapanywhere

4 – Vegetable Elvis Presley. You Heard – Domesticsluttery

3 - Because of the day that it is – YouTube

2 - Womanizer by Britney Spears, as sung by the French – Bestweekever

1 – Where’s today’s idiot? Oh, here he is…

Have you heard? Sesame Street is celebrating its 40th anniversary.

Just think about that. Four decades of Sesame Street falsely teaching children that the last letter of the alphabet is ‘zee’ instead of ‘zed’. Four decades of Sesame Street teaching children to laugh in an unconvincing east European accent whenever they count to five. Four decades of Sesame Street showing slightly underwhelming short-form documentaries about bottle factories.

And four decades of solid gold musical performances. For a kid’s TV show, Sesame Street has played host to some genuinely incredible musical acts in its time, and here’s a list of our favourites. Do let us know if we’ve missed any out…

10 – Tony Bennett, Little Things

Where Tony Bennett tells a child that she shouldn’t hurry to grow up because he believes in little things “like colours in the sky”. Which we believe is a polite way of telling her that when you get old your teeth fall out and sometimes you accidentally wet yourself. Charming, nonetheless.

9 – Feist, 1,2,3,4

A spectacular puppet-heavy recreation of Feist’s famous 1,2,3,4 video. So preposterously delightful that you can even forgive Sesame Street for teaching children to find value in bland coffee shop music.

8 – Norah Jones, Don’t Know Y

A true multi-tasker of a performance. Not only does Norah Jones teach children about the letter Y and sing her best-known song, but it is also more likely to put children to sleep faster than any other song ever performed on Sesame Street by anyone.

7 – REM, Furry Happy Monsters

Who knew – re-recording old songs with new lyrics and singing them next to a bunch of dangerously bipolar puppets actually improves them. You learn something new every day.

6 – James Blunt, My Triangle

Yes, look, it’s James Blunt. And everyone knows how much of a knobshine James Blunt is. But, admit it, at one point during this song you thought “Hey, maybe James Blunt isn’t so bad after all.” Didn’t you? It’s OK. It’s our secret.

5 – Billy Joel, Just The Way You Are

Of all the lessons that Sesame Street ever taught us, this one has stayed with us the longest – that whenever Billy Joel sings, it’s OK to shout abuse at him and to repeatedly tell his deaf friend to go away. Remember that, kids. One day it might come in handy.

4 – Destiny’s Child, A New Way To Walk

Not so much for the song itself, or the tortured way that the song is introduced, but for the moment two and a half minutes in when Grover comes perilously close to having his eye taken out by Beyonce’s wayward crotch.

3 – Johnny Cash, Nasty Dan

This is just immense – it’s a battle of wits between mean old Johnny Cash and mean old Oscar The Grouch. Who comes out on top? No contest – the sneer that Cash gives Oscar after Oscar tells him that Nasty Pearl sounds OK could freeze blood. Terrifying.

2 – Paul Simon, Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard

Not that the little girl next to him seems to think it’s called Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard, though – in her head it’s clearly called Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Alright Dance Dance Dance EVERYBODY DANCE EVERYBODY DANCE OH YOU CAN DANCE WITH ME YOU CAN DANCE WITH ME Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance. Almost illegally heartwarming.

1 – Stevie Wonder, Superstition

Now this is just in a different league. Stevie Wonder, before he got fat and rubbish, singing a glorious six-minute song about the dangers of organised religion to a group of impressionable children, some of whom have more of the funk than we will ever fully begin to comprehend. Not just the greatest musical performance on Sesame Street, but maybe one of the best videos of all time. Perfect.

BONUS VIDEO: Stevie Wonder again

He doesn’t just sing his own songs, you know. Stevie Wonder also makes up throwaway songs about Sesame Street. And they rule, too. Amazing.

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Cool uncle and embarrassing aunt.

Folded:

• The Chase from Midnight Express – Club Version (very Berlin. Then again you could remix Giorgio Moroder’s alarm clock and make a decent track)
• Films on the telly (why are they always more fun than putting on a DVD?)
• Be miserable (doctor’s orders)
• Donut Drake in Uncharted 2 (such a laugh climbing on the wrecked train and the pipes break)
• New Avatar trailer (we can stop sweating, this actually looks pretty good now)

Creased:

• Prince of Persia movie trailer (they’re thinking Pirates; they’re getting Hercules)
• Fireworks… (do THIS. Not nice)
• 50 Cent (officially plastic)
• Greg James (the worst DJ Radio One has ever employed. And that’s saying something)
• Hackers (why do they get such a cool nickname? Let’s call them bottom feeding pissants instead)

Yee-haw kids, its reality pop star season, so what does that mean?

It means that anyone who’s got an ounce of talent in their blood is going to get ignored. Money-making mass-produced rubbish will take over and make us all believe it’s the best thing since the last reality show winner from the previous month.

So can we suggest someone to you? Take a listen to Chicago’s One Little Plane. With an album out last year, she has been pretty much unnoticed by everyone, but has enough support to carry her through. Produced by folktronica man Four Tet, these beautifully crafted songs give the impression they were lovingly knitted in the front room of someone’s house where all the love and attention in the world was dedicated to them. It’s acoustic bliss. And you should invest.

For more:

One Little Plane MySpace

9 – And now, for anyone who thinks that Nintendo Wiis aren’t creepy enough – Geekologie

8 – The Roots have missed their calling. Hip-hop’s gain is 1970’s MOR deep, deep loss – MyChemicalToilet

7 – What did Kim Kardashian dress up as for Halloween? What? A sort of prostitutey Disney princess? Get out of town – AmyGrindhouse

6 - Is Prince Of Persia going to be good or cack? Someone tell us - Popsugar

5 – Kate Winslet is definitely not the world’s most irritating actress, so don’t sue us please – PopEater

4 – What’s that? You’ve always wanted to buy a plaster cast of Tila Tequila’s boob? You’re in luck, you disgusting bloody pervert – Bestweekever

3 -Danielle Bux, she’s just like us (except she has to put up with Gary Lineker pawing at her boobs like some sort of gross big-eared zombie) - Interestment

2 - The name of this website explains everything you need to know - Hotchickswithfistsintheirmouths

1 - This is so adorable we think it just made us grow ovaries…

We love Sports Illustrated swimwear models here at hecklerspray.

Sure, we like looking at the pictures of beautiful girls but we also like to think they are performing an important role of getting more people interested in swimming. Well, put it this way, nothing has made us more interested in the breaststroke than the thought of a lovely girl in a tight-fitting bikini.

OK, enough of the terrible jokes and roll on the pictures of half-naked women…

30. Isabeli Fontana

29. Angela Lindvall

28. Selita Ebanks

27. Julie Henderson

26. Irina Sheik

25. Oluchi Onweagba

24. Bridget Hall

23. Melissa Haro

22. Kim Alexis

21. Cheryl Tiegs

20. Niki Taylor

19. Christie Brinkley

18. Naomi Campbell

17. Cindy Crawford

16. Rachel Hunter

15. Daniela Pestova

14. Bar Rafaeli

13. Beyonce Knowles

12. Ana Beatriz Barros

11. Michelle Behennah

10. Anna Kournikova

9. Veronika Varekova

8. Elle Macpherson

7. Molly Sims

6. Tyra Banks

5. Kathy Ireland

4. Chandra North

3. Marisa Miller

2. Heidi Klum

1. Rebecca Romijn

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