eBay Treasures
There are many different ways to be immortalised. You can be the first to do something genuinely heroic like Neil Armstrong. You can become the best ever at your chosen profession like Pele. Or you can shell out a bunch of cash to charity in return for seeing your name in a book.
16 writers are holding eBay auctions next month for the right to name characters in new books to raise funds for an organisation promoting
free speech. One lucky winner of a charity auction will be ripped apart by zombies sent berserk by mobile phone signals in the new Stephen King novel.
We've all been there. You're innocently playing around on the internet when - whoops - you accidentally buy a car belonging to Elvis Presley.
Jason Shepherd from New York knows all about this. He's won an eBay auction for an old Elvis car. But he says it's a mistake, and now he won't pay the $245,000.
You'd have thought Jennifer Aniston had enough on her plate, what with her career being on the wane, and her husband running off with Lara Croft. But things can only get better, right?
Well, not exactly. As if she hadn't been given enough kickings lately, you can now buy Jennifer Aniston's old love letters. Her teenage sweetheart is predictably flogging them on eBay.
Yes, London has beaten Paris to host the Olympic Games in 2012 and faces all sorts of logistical issues and no doubt commuter carnage while the Mayor attempts to fix the transport system.
But the big news is of course that those powersellers on eBay are busy preparing a new wave of shite to flog to the stupid. That's right, buddy, the bread
...
Those pesky electronic pimps are at it again. eBay had got it's ear bent once by Bob Geldof, after Live 8 tickets were being put up for auction on the site. Now, they've noticed that some cheeky scamps were auctioning illegal Live 8 DVDs.
Now, after complaints by the music industry, eBay is removing the illegal Live 8 DVDs.
Over the next few weeks, months, whenever we run out of ideas, hecklerspray will be looking closely at cars.
We are not talking about the kind of motors Jeremy Clarkson would remortgage his house to own. No, we mean crap cars. Runabouts from an age when central locking meant leaning over the passenger side door to let your mate in. We love these cars for their simplicity, their charm, but most of all their price. If a motor’s not cheaper to buy than a Dyson vacuum cleaner we’re not interested. Come with us and delve retro lovers, it’s time to discover a rubbish car we love…Ford Fiesta Mark 2
If there is a person alive in the UK, perhaps aged no younger than their mid-twenties, who hasn’t driven one of these little beauties we would be very surprised. The Ford Fiesta Mark 2, once upon a time everyone’s ubiquitous ‘first car’, is now a rarer sight than a free parking space in London. In other words, they’re practically extinct. The original Mark 1 Fiesta hit the streets like a tin of rusty nails way back in 1976. Pitched for ladies and who couldn’t afford a Triumph Stag to do their shopping in, the plucky hatchback’s size, economy, and occasional appearance in episodes of The Professionals made it a big success for Ford.
Bob Geldof has got typically angry at people using eBay to sell their Live 8 tickets for profit. It seems that no matter what he tries to do, it always backfires.
Bob Geldof wants to send fleets of boats across the channel to pick up
continental protesters, but it's made angry people worry about immigrants. He plans a series of big free Live 8 concerts to help African poverty, then fills them full of doddery old musicians. He tries to give the Live 8 tickets away as a gesture of goodwill, but people try and sell them on eBay. And by jove, he's had enough.Speaking for Live 8, Geldof raged at eBay. "I am sick with this. The people who are selling it are miserable wretches but far worse is the corporate culture which capitalises on people's misery".
Arnold Schwarzenegger (DVDs/Books) is the most bananas man in the world. He burns his kids' clothes! He wants to destroy the moon to stop women "bitching and whining"! He's the Governor of California!
Face it, everyone wants to live like Arnold. But we can't. And we can't live like his movie characters either, going around killing people by spearing them with pipes
...
