Eurovision Betting

In case you missed the news, the UK is the rubbishest in the world at Eurovision - even rubbisher than Spain’s creepy Elvis-geek.

On Saturday the UK Eurovision entry Andy Abraham came joint last - along with some nondescript Germans and a Polish tooth machine who looks like she bathes in Ronseal - causing Terry Wogan to mumble furiously about political block voting and boycotts and even his own resignation if our crap songs weren’t taken as seriously as mainland Europe’s crap songs in the future.

And now Terry Wogan’s outraged warcry has been backed up by none other than Bruce Forsyth. Old men grumbling about stuff? Who’d have thought?

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So this is it - both Eurovision semi-finals have been and gone and everything’s set for tomorrow’s Eurovision Song Contest final.

If you haven’t placed a Eurovision bet yet, then this is the time to do so. The odds are currently flying around all over the place, so get in quick. It couldn’t be simpler to do. And, as for today, we’ve save the best for last. Well, OK, maybe not the best. We’ve saved the alphabetically final for last. Yes, that’s better.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Andy Abraham and the UK, with help from Paddy Power…

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Our Eurovision betting odds are almost at an end. What will we do when they’re done? If only we knew, friends, if only we knew.

But we can’t dwell on that for too long, because the second Eurovision semi-final is coming at you hard tonight. And with Dustin The Turkey, the Belgian entry and Estonia already fallen by the wayside, the dreadful Icelandic act, the dreadful Albanian act and dreadful Lithuanian act need to play out of their skins unless they want to go home early and save their countrymen the shame of seeing them blow it in the Eurovision final on Saturday.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for the Ukraine, with help from Paddy Power…

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Now that the first Eurovision semi-final has taken place, it’s time for you pay proper attention to these Eurovision betting odds.

Because did you see the Eurovision semi-final yesterday? It honestly had all the excitement that you’d expect from a song contest featuring a lot of songs that aren’t particularly good. If you didn’t see it, we have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that our favourite song - the Bosnian entry - is through, along with the Armenian girl who we’re developing strange feelings for. The bad news is that Belguim’s lovely song is out and there’ll be no Dustin The Turkey in the final, either. And Estonia’s been ditched as well. Wait, no, that’s actually good news. Sorry.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Turkey, with help from Paddy Power…

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Eurovision is just days away now and, yes, you have every right to be this excited. You are excited, right?

In fact, Eurovision is now so close that the first Eurovision semi-final takes place tonight, with countries like Andorra and Finland and Moldova all trying to make it to the Eurovision final. The odds are stacked against them - only nine of the competing 19 countries will make it to the final - but we’ll make it easy for you, Europe. Make Bosnia win the semi-final or we’ll come and fight you.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Switzerland, with help from Paddy Power…

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This is it - we’re into the last week of these Eurovision betting odds, so start betting if you haven’t already.

It’s a big week for everyone. With a record 43 countries hoping to make the Eurovision Song Contest final, there’ll be two semi-finals held this week, culminating in the main event on Saturday. 43 countries, several of which are former Soviet territories. Oh, global superpower communist states, how we miss you.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Sweden, with help from Paddy Power…

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What’s that, there in the distance? Why, it’s some Eurovision betting odds. Ah, here they are now.

But before we get to the good stuff, we’ve got the daily Eurovision rehearsal rundowns to get through. What have they taught us this time? That the Portuguese woman sometimes doesn’t wear shoes, that the Maltese woman has a black and silver theme and that… no, we’ve already told you too much.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Spain, with help from Paddy Power…

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Ready for some more Eurovision betting odds? Of course you are. Don’t try to kid yourself, it makes you look fat.

Since this is the first week of Eurovision rehearsals - of which we’ve been meticulously watching for your benefit - we thought we’d fill you in on some of the more recent developments we’ve noticed. The Latvians do a dance that looks like swordfighting and the Swiss bloke’s routine involves standing quite still. You’re welcome.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Slovenia, with help from Paddy Power…

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Ready for another of Eurovision betting odds? You’d better be, or else there’ll be murders.

We spoil you, we really do - as well as filling you in on every single Eurovision entry of the year, we’re also watching every single Eurovision rehearsal to keep you filled in on that as well. What can we tell you so far? That the Greek lady sits on a plank of wood for a bit and that one of the Armenian dancers does a backflip at one point. See? This is exactly why hecklerspray wins so many awards.

So here are the Eurovision betting odds for Serbia, with help from Paddy Power…

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The Eurovision Song Contest is getting closer, so savour these Eurovision betting odds while you can.

Eurovision’s getting so close, in fact, that the rehearsals are taking place as we speak, and the Eurovision website has them all online to watch. It’s worth a look, especially if you enjoy watching Bosnian men climb out of washing baskets. Which you do, of course. Everyone does.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for San Marino, with help from Paddy Power…

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A new week means a new flurry of Eurovision betting odds. And nothing else. It just means the Eurovision thing.

And with Eurovision now less than a fortnight away, it’s time to kick off some official Eurovision festivities, like today’s Serbian Royal Eurovision welcome party held in Belgrade’s White Palace, where one Eurovision contestant will be chosen at random and fed to the dogs as an example of the family’s all-consuming power. Fingers crossed it’s the Estonians.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Russia, with help from Paddy Power…

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Eurovision betting odds. Hup!

The Eurovision Song Contest is almost upon us. have you placed a Eurovision bet yet? Now’s the time to do it, beause these odds are only going to get shorter the closer we get to the actual contest. The risk is high, but the rewards are great. And if you’ve managed to read all these betting odds so far, you deserve some kind of financial reward, don’t you.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Romania, with help from Paddy Power…

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