From the category archives:

Celebrity Gossip

Matthew McConaughey Claims To Be A True Texan Sparking Mass State-wide Exodus

by Michael Park

Along with Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey is one of those actors that make you think “I could do that”. His down-home style and inability to replicate a wide range of emotions, make McConaughey one of Hollywood’s most saught-after romantic comedy actors. Now it seems that the 42-year-old has sparked one of the largest movements of [...]

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Jamie Oliver Calls A Journalist A ‘Bitch’, Which Is Nice Of Him

by Mof Gimmers

Jamie Oliver, the Bono of cooking, has been keen to promote healthy eating and the like, for some time now. He wants you, humble reader, to put down that bag of M&Ms and start eating grapes that have been showered little more in butterfly tears and golden sun.

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Heidi Klum Lives Inside A Tornado (Nice And Airy Then?)

by Mof Gimmers

Supermodel Heidi Klum used to have it all. A moderately well-know singing husband named after a greasy bewhiskered mammal, legs that did the right thing down a catwalk and great Halloween costumes.

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Jennifer Aniston Has Clearly Gone Insane As Well As Forgetting All About Crying Courteney Cox

by Mof Gimmers

When Brad Pitt ran off with Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston cried and cried and cried. Every time we heard about her, she was weeping, jealous, lonely, worried and generally pathetic in a vest top (no bra, natch).

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One Direction Fans Are Part Of Sinister ’1D-4TW’ Project

by Michael Park

One of the celebrity’s greatest fears is the cunning, cold-hearted assassin. Those who kill for money or for a cause. They kill without remorse and without feeling, leaving the families and friends of their victims devastated. The mark of a great assassin is their ability to kill without getting caught. So what if we told [...]

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Will Young Slags Off Rihanna, As If She Hasn’t Had Enough Trouble With Men

by Mof Gimmers

Will Young is a proper grown-up now. He does quirky pop-videos, works with Groove Armada and even appears on popular British politics shows like Question Time. And all that with a slight lisp! How tremendous.

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Britney Spears’ Wedding Is Off! Which Wedding Are We On Now?

by Mof Gimmers

Oh no! Britney Spears’ latest wedding is off! Yes, she was getting married again. We dunno, some bloke called Jason Trawick. Yes, we know she’s been married a million times and still seems mental. STOP ASKING US QUESTIONS WITH YOUR MIND.

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Jessica Simpson’s Unborn Baby Is Already Acting As Evil Moral Compass

by Mof Gimmers

Do you know who Jessica Simpson is? Well, she’s having a baby. That’s right! She had unprotected sex and her assorted ovaries and whatnot worked sufficiently well enough to harvest a tiny, shitting human! And yes, we’re supposed to care because it is still regarded as ‘a little miracle’.

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Frankie Cocozza To Be “The Bachelor” Or “Perpetually Lonely”

by Michael Park

If you remember a time where people weren’t famous because they had tattooed tally marks representing every woman they’d ever had sex with which criss-crossed their body making them look like a Wilkinsons version of Hellraiser then close this window now. In case you hadn’t heard, Celebrity Big Brother contestant and X Factor flop Frankie [...]

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Skins: Killed With Fire, Never Again To Appear On A Television Set Near You

by Mof Gimmers

Are you a fan of thoroughly and comprehensively unrealistic teen-dramas that pass themselves off as hard-hitting, issue-heavy dramadies, prone to firing its cast every 5 minutes? You’re probably stupid enough to like Skins then… which has just been killed.

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