by Stuart Heritage
In these times of immense global hardships, it’s reassuring that governments are doing what they need to do.
Like creaming themselves over Brad Pitt. Wait, no, hang on, what? Even though it’s probably right at the very bottom of their priority list – just after ‘stop the world slumping into an irreversible environmental and financial catastrophe’ and ‘buy more milk for the fridge’ – the entire US government froze up yesterday so that Brad Pitt could chat to senior politicians, including the actual president, about charity.
Next week: Jennifer Aniston shouts at the Lithuanian interior minister through a megaphone about her fingernails.
Read more >>>
by Stuart Heritage
Chris Brown has tried all sorts – apologising, getting back with Rihanna, gleefully norking around on a jetski.
But it hasn’t worked. Yesterday Chris Brown was formally charged with two felonies regarding his alleged thumping of Rihanna – assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making criminal threats – which could land him a jail sentence of up to five years.
What’s more, a detective’s affidavit has also been released, describing exactly what transpired that night. Oddly, it doesn’t seem to think that it was all Rihanna’s fault for having a funny voice. Jeez, don’t these policemen read the hecklerspray comment section?
Read more >>>