Big Brother Betting

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has just lined up another four schmucks for eviction - Victor, Jeremy, Emilia and Liam.

Come Friday, one of those poor kids will be out of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. But who? Bendy girl? Her idiot brother? The monotone racing driver? Liam? Liam, obviously, but we'll come to that tomorrow.

But who'll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, John and Anthony, with help from Paddy Power…

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Big Brother Celebrity Hijack - the only Big Brother series that proves SAS interrogation tactics don't even work on pasty-faced teenage girls - is still rattling away on E4.

And we're giving you and a guest the very special chance to be at the Big Brother Celebrity Hijacks finale.

Taking place on Monday January 28, the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finale will be the best place to experience the emotion, the drama and the slightly rubbishy homemade banners that accompanies all Big Brother finales. And you could be there. Yes, you.

We have two sets of tickets to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finale to give away to you, so long as you're over 18, reside in the UK, able to find your own travel and accommodation and have a friend that you can take along with you.

To enter the competition, just answer this simple question:

Who won Big Brother 4?

Send your answers - along with a mobile number you can be contacted on if you win - to hello[AT]hecklerspray.com and  we'll pick two winning entries by Jan 23. Good luck!

The Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are made of tougher stuff than they look, you know - just look what they've been through.

As if just living in a new house with 11 total strangers for a month isn't bad enough, they've also been put through a brutal SAS interrogation process by Andy McNab, had their acting skills harshly criticised by that Scottish actor, plus they had to spend a day listening to Peaches Geldof rabbiting on at them without being able to kick their way into the control room and choke her on her stupid microphone. They're made of stronger stuff than us.

But who'll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Latoya, Emilia, Jeremy and Amy, with help from Paddy Power…

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Beauty queen and inexplicably gifted child Jade was the first housemate to be evicted from Big Brother Celebrity Hijack on Friday, but that's hardly important.

Nor is the fact that Victor's already up for Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction this Friday. What is important is that Big Brother Celebrity Hijack seems to be turning into 24, and we don't know why.

Look at the facts. As soon as the first housemate entered the house he was given a Jack Bauer-style earpiece to wear, and then on Saturday the housemates were all given a Jack Bauer-style interrogation. What next? Will the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates have to cut each others' hands off with fire axes? Will one of them get caught in a bear trap while a mountain lion prowls around them until Matt Dillon's brother rescues them and tries to keep them as a wife? We must know!

Anyway, who'll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win for Victor, Liam, Calista and Jay, with help from Paddy Power…

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Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is booting out its first overbearingly 'special' housemate tonight, but who's it going to be?

The Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates have decided that Jeremy, Jade and Victor are the people they'd least like to put up with for the rest of the month, and come this evening one of them will be bundled into the giant brass mail chute marked 'permanant anonymity'. But who? Who? We can't wait 12 hours! We want to know now!

So here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Jeremy, Jade and Victor to get evicted tonight, with help from Paddy Power…

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Tensions are rising in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house as Jade, Victor and Jeremy all face eviction oblivious to the fact that hardly anyone on the outside world is watching.

We'll have the eviction betting odds tomorrow, but let's not forget what's going on inside the Big Brother house right now. After the double body-blow of that bloke from The 11 O'Clock Show titting about in their garden and John McCririck spending all of yesterday bellowing nonsense at them, it's a wonder that they all haven't keeled over in a big messy puddle yet.

Who'll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, Anthony and John, with help from Paddy Power…

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Finally Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has had its first nominations, which means that soon we'll have one less of these numpties to gawp at.

As it happens, the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates up for nomination this week are beauty queen Jade, racing driver Jeremy and Victor, the funny-accented man who spins around on rollerskates for a living. We'll be bringing you the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for the nominated housemates later in the week, but not now. Now we've got unfinished business to, um, finish.

Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win for Jeremy, Latoya and Emilia, with help from Paddy Power…

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So far it's painfully clear that the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are an absurdly irritating group of overconfident bastards, but that's missing the real point of the show, isn't it?

And the real point of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is that celebrity hijackers can do naughty things to the housemates. Evil, huh? No, not once you've realised that even when playing Big Brother, most famous people are too scared of destroying their reputations to be genuinely nasty. In fact, the extent of the celebrities' evilness has probably been Matt Lucas getting a fat boy to shout about cake, which is hardly going to put him on the CIA Most Wanted list, is it? We want real evil from the hijackers, and if that starts with Kelly Osbourne starving Liam to death then so be it.

Who'll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor, Amy and Calista with help from Paddy Power…

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Now that we've had a full weekend to absorb the various personalities of the new Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates, what have we learnt about this compelling anthropological study?

Well, in a nutshell, that they're all turds. Self-centred arrogant turds the bloody lot of them. At least Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has managed to teach us something already - that if you're young and prodigiously talented, there's a pretty high likelihood that you're going to be an utter bell-end of the very worst kind as well. And we've got a month of putting up with them yapping on about themselves like horrible miniature Donald Trumps as well. Joy. No really, we're thrilled.

So who's going to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack anyway? Here's the first part of our Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds - for Jay, Liam and Jade - with help from Paddy Power…

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Have you heard the news? Celebrity Big Brother's back on the air, only this time Channel 4 is so scared of starting another full-scale international race war that it's had to make some changes.

For starters you can't call it Celebrity Big Brother any more - you have to call it Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. Second of all, it's all on E4 rather than Channel 4 itself - which is frankly an outrage because if Big Brother's on E4, where are the 15 solid daily hours of Friends repeats going to go? And thirdly there aren't any celebrities in the Big Brother house - for the next month the celebrities are Big Brother and the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates are 'specially talented' normal goons who seem to think that spending a month in a box being shouted at by Ian Wright will improve their lives somehow. Fools.

The housemates all entered the Big Brother house last night and one of the fuckers has got to win, so here are the early Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds, with help from Paddy Power…

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This series of Big Brother was the least-watched ever, either because of the new multichannel on-demand TV age taking hold or because nobody could understand what the hell any of the Big Brother housemates were ever talking about.

But forget all that, because Big Brother 8 finally has a winner - and it's Brian Belo, the man who turned shouting "Shut up!" like an enraged homosexual hairdresser into the catchphrase of the summer among the 12 people who actually watched Big Brother regularly this year. And as the winner of Big Brother, Brian Belo can now look forward to having a super high-profile media career that'll make him even more of a household name, the same as other Big Brother winners like Aberdeen Evening Express columnist Cameron Stout, mid-sized provincial town nightclub DJ Kate Lawler and failed 1970s disco dance fitness DVD salesman Anthony Hutton. Yup, it's the big league for you now, Brian.

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The final day of any series of Big Brother always conjures up a mixture of conflicting emotions in its viewers - we've lived with Big Brother for so long that not having it around will be weird, like getting an ovarian cyst removed or something.

This series of Big Brother has been the longest yet, lasting approximately seven calender years from beginning to end. This series of Big Brother has gone on for so long that neither of the Big Brother twins were actually born when it began, and Jonty had yet to learn the dangerous thrill of getting his willy out in front of girls. So make the most of tonight's Big Brother final - and all the badly-judged, super-short eviction interviews that'll go with it - and don't forget that this is your absolute last chance to place a Big Brother bet. After all, it's not as if you're going to give a flying toss about any of the housemates after tonight, is it?

But who'll win Big Brother tonight? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Sam & Amanda, with help from Paddy Power…

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