Badvertising
People hate KFC. Really, really hate it. Why? Because their treatment of chickens is exceptionally cruel, with workers in one American plant ripping beaks off live animals and then twisting their heads off? No. Because Mike Skinner tells us to hate them? No. Because their coleslaw is rubbish? No.
The reason most people hate KFC is because of that dreadful advert where people sing with their mouths full of chicken.
'Distinctive'-voiced MOR teeny warbler Joss Stone may lose her multi-millon dollar Gap contract after shacking up with an older boyfriend.
Joss - only 17, the poor lamb - faces trouble after reportedly moving in with 25-year-old music producer Beau Dozier.
And here's a surprise: it's received complaints from UK anti-gun charities. They accuse Reebok of glorifying gun crime. For the unaware, let us pop an information cap in yo' ass...
Sometimes the only reason to mention something is that annoys the crap out of you. Case in point: the Diet Coke tortoise advert.
Coca-Cola has been responsible for some real whiffy-ones as far as advertising on TV is concerned. From the ‘hands of love’ guff across the prairie fields in the seventies, to their 'Just for Taste of it' bile in the eighties, right up to this current slab of commercial hell-on-earth...
The continual travesty in commercial production that is the Elephant.co.uk television advertising campaign continues to puzzle scientists and UK consumers alike.
Featuring what appears to be a pretentious loser and a man dressed in an elephant’s costume, hecklerspray wonders whether the creative strategy was the result of some form of primary school competition...
There now follows a hecklerspray public warning. If you're a regular cinema-goer, you'll know the feeling - having to watch the same godforsaken adverts over and over as they play out their two-month stretch. Remember that BMV promo, directed by Tony Scott and 'starring' walking charisma bypass Clive Owen? Remember thinking: this is about as bad as it gets...
Sorry, folks. The bottom of the barrel is still being scraped. Shampoo saleswoman Beyonce, professional arse-wobbler Jennifer Lopez and ball-kicking village genius David Beckham are obviously all a bit short of cash. That's why they've clubbed together and made a Pepsi Commercial ...
Oh, but don't despair! This isn't some lame Fanta beach-party affair. This is a far classier, 'noirish', two-minute mini-movie set in Hong Kong and featuring kung-fu fights, motorcycles and seedy underworld clubs.
Beyonce even claims that the advert 'looks great', while Beckham describes it as 'incredible'. Would they lie to us? Those two?
So put your worries aside. You won't be vomiting up your popcorn after all. That's because - as soon as this starts showing - you'll probably be avoiding the cinema like a Michael Barrymore Pool Party.
