From the category archives:

Badvertising

Badvertising: Get Your Bits Out For The Lads!

by Michael Park

Here at hecklerspray we love to get involved in the great big sexism debate that rears its head every time Editor Mof slaps one of the female writers on the arse and tells them that they’re doing a great job “for a bird”. After that, the ensuing three day wildcat strike by our female staff [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Gordon Ramsay Axed As The Horrible Face Of Gordon’s Gin

by Matthew Laidlow

If you were ever faced with the task of cooking wrinkle faced chef Gordon Ramsay a meal, you’d probably find that it wouldn’t be up to standard. Instead of constructive criticism, a fiery Ramsay would slam into the kitchen, take you by the scruff of the neck and threaten to hack your eyes out with [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: Let’s Talk About Genitals

by Michael Park

Here in the hecklerspray bedsit, we’re often told off for using inappropriate words to describe the girls’ genitalia. In fact, there was a time that Matthew Laidlow had to spend three weeks hooked up to a catheter after asking Joanna Bolouri if he could cop a feel of her “pouch”. After that, Editor Mof came up [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: Blackburn Rovers Survive Earthquake & Celebrate With Chicken

by Michael Park

This week’s Badvertising was half-written until something dropped through our mould-covered letterbox that was so awful, it couldn’t be left alone for a week. We subsequently scrunched up the previous Badvertising and set it alight, after all this incumbent piece was so sickening to watch that we felt as though we’d been eating another of [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: Let’s Raise Age Awareness By Humiliating The Elderly

by Michael Park

It’s not easy to be nasty professionally. For a start, people automatically assume that you have no heart and that if you do, it’s a blackened, flaking husk that makes people unable to spend time in the same room as you. Admittedly for the most part, that’s true. Sometimes, you also have to poke fun [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: Carlsberg & The Feats Of Human Endeavour

by Michael Park

Beer. Lager. Come on folks. We all love a nice cool, refreshing lager after a hard day sitting in the bedsit, angrily hacking words into our typewriters but lager advertising is notorious for playing up to ‘laddy’ stereotypes or generally misrepresenting the product as being anything more than yellow piss-water that no-one in their right [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: For When You’re Really, Really Desperate

by Michael Park

Let’s just face facts right here and now. We’re pathetic. All of us. You reading this, us writing it and especially those that have to edit it. We all feel lonely sometimes and where some of us can just walk into a public house, identify someone they would like to engage in coitus with and [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Badvertising: Never Say No To Suggestive Advertising

by Michael Park

At hecklerspray, there are few things we hate more than watching television. It’s so irritating isn’t it? With its loud, garish programmes invariably starring some Northern “comic” trying to rehash the glory days when you could watch someone win a microwave on Bullseye and be genuinely delighted for them. TV will never change. It will [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: The Longest 30 Seconds Of Your Life

by Michael Park

Let’s talk about time, shall we? Time is important. Time is vitally important. Time is- we’re led to believe- money. The amount of time that we spend doing things directly relates to the amount of time that we have remaining to do other things like drinking tea and masturbating while crying into a woman’s garter. [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: We Don’t Want To Lose Money! Please Buy This Obsolete Junk!

by Michael Park

Windows. You either love them or hate them. Some see them as an invaluable way to let light into an otherwise darkened home while others see them as 3ft x 5ft invasions of their privacy. There are many types of window. Sash, double glazed, casement, transom, going all the way up to the stately bay [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →