About Us & Press

Readers, we know some of out competition prizes have blown in the past. Any fool with a promotional I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry apron from us knows that.

But this time we promise that we’ve got a good’un on our hands. Indie moviemaker extraordinaire Jim Jarmusch has a DVD boxset - inventively titled The Jim Jarmusch Collection Vol 1 - coming out soon, and we’ve got three copies to give away. Comprising Permanent Vacation, Stranger Than Paradise and the still-unbeatable Down By Law, The Jim Jarmusch Collection Vol 1 is basically the best rainy Sunday ever in box form.

To win The Jim Jarmusch Collection Vol 1, all you need to do is answer this question:

Which gravel-voiced singer stars in Down By Law?

Email your answers - with the subject line ‘Tom Waits Competition’ - to hello@hecklerspray.com as soon as you can along with your name and address, and we’ll pick three winners at random by the end of the week. UK readers only, please. Good luck.

Hecklerspray's Matthew Laidlow recently applied for a job at a magazine, not knowing that it was to be edited by Peaches Geldof as part of an MTV reality TV show. The following is a true story… 

Firstly, let's be clear - nobody told me that I was going going for a job on a reality TV show or that Peaches Geldof was going to be the editor. Both these factors would have put me off straight away.

So here is my story of how I almost worked with the stupidly-named celebrity wannabe Peaches Geldof.

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Hecklerspray, never knowingly less than 18 months behind the rest of the world when it comes to technology, has joined the Twitter revolution.

Trouble is, though, we don't got no friends. This is where you come along. Become hecklerspray's Twitter follower here and you can see what we're doing and we can see what you're doing and we all become as one and everything's wonderful. Sound like a good idea? Of course it does - especially when you start using Twitter to make pronouncements about how sexually arousing you find hecklerspray.

You've done good before with the hecklerspray MySpace and the hecklerspray Facebook. Now do some similar good with Twitter. We'll be friends forever. Forever! Or until we forget that Twitter exists, which is probably quite inevitable. Twitter!

Become a hecklerspray Twitter follower here  

You know us, total award-whores one and all.

Not only is hecklerspray the universal meeting place for abusive gonk-eyed, all-capital Christina Aguilera fanatics, but we're also winners of Metro's best British entertainment blog award and the 45th most powerful blog in the world. We don't know if we mentioned that before. 45th.

But that's not enough, oh no. Because now we've also been nominated for Best Celebrity and Entertainment blog at this year's Glam awards. Somewhat predictably, though, we're going to need your help. If you'd like to, and of course you would, you can vote for hecklerspray here under the Celebrity and Entertainment category. Best of all, you get a brand new vote every day - so you can vote hecklerspray again and again and again.

The prize? Why it's a shiny pink camcorder. And here's the thing - if we win the award, we're going to give it away to one of you. Because it's a shiny pink camcorder, for christ's sake. Who'd want that.

Vote! Vote like you've never voted before! 

In the past, when we've hurled bowling balls at round-faced American preachers it's been just for fun - but when we do it now it'll be because we've been corrupted by power, There Will Be Blood-style.

Why? Because according to a list in today's Observer, hecklerspray is the 45th most powerful blog in the world. Yes, the world. Take that, blogs from Argentina and eastern Europe - today we wear a crown made from your broken dreams. Hecklerspray is powerful, like a tank or a bear or something.

You can see The Observer's 50 most powerful blog list in full here, including the bit where it says we're good. We knew that tainting a newspaper's water supply with mercury would eventually pay off. We knew it.

Honestly, we don't think we've ever been so flattered. There are some very good blogs in the list, along with a couple of ropey ones. And - if first is gold and second is silver - then what sort of medal will 45th place get us? One made of milk bottle tops? A discarded condom wrapper? Depleted weapons-grade uranium? Hooray for us!

If you haven't heard of Fafarazzi, we've got two pretty excellent reasons why you should remedy this - 1) Fafarazzi is like Fantasy Football, only with celebrities and 2) hecklerspray's involved.

This is how Fafarazzi works - you join a league with some friends, draft a bunch of celebrities for your team and then watch them score points for every mention they get in the news. And when we say 'news' we mean 'us' because hecklerspray's the newest Fafarazzi source. So it probably might be a good idea to get Britney Spears on your team as fast as you can.

Anyway, long story short, Fafarazzi is a stupid amount of fun. Go see. 

Read more:

Fafarazzi.com 

Hello kids, Stu here. I'm back from what was either a long weekend running through a field with Nicole Kidman or a long weekend walking around a European city for so long that my feet have swollen up to the point where traditional shoes no longer fit me, depending on who you ask.

Anyway, now I'm back. High fives all round! No? Suit yourselves. Thanks ever so much to Shawn Lindseth for filling in on Friday, especially since - and this is completely true - he's getting married this weekend. I only hope that writing stories about Lindsay Lohan hanging out in morgues proved to be an enjoyable distraction from fretting over confetti scatter-patterns for him. 

So congratulations to Shawn and his bride-to-be, even if the whole thing is transparently a sham for visa purposes. Now, on with business… 

Now we're at the bum-end of 2007, it's time to reflect on the year gone by.

It's a year that's seen hecklerspray writers thrown out of magazine-based writing competitions for cheating, hecklerspray writers painted bright orange as a gruesome initiation to other magazines, hecklerspray writers going on serious news programmes to discuss the real threat of wanking Kenyan monkeys and hecklerspray writers waggling huge black dildos around while being scathing about Second Life for digital TV channels. And we're even told that some things happened over the course of 2007 that didn't directly involve people who work for hecklerspray, although we are yet to see proof of this.

But what about next year? What do our senior writers personally want from that? Let's take a look…

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December 28, and an admission. The reason why we aren't here throwing celebrity news at you like bananas in a monkey factory is because the whole hecklerspray family has gone camping.

It isn't going well. Laidlow, hammered on alcopops, has thrown up in Lindseth's sleeping bag and made him cry. Laverty tripped over the guy rope and dropped all our eggs on a cowpat. C J Davies keeps walking into a tree head-first again and again, convinced he'll be able to move it with the power of his mind and nobody has seen Annette since she went off to film that witch's hut. Only Stuart Heritage has managed to rise above this pathetic scene. Really, he's like some sort of hero or something.

Anyway, want to know what our favourite TV shows of the year were? Good, they're all here…

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December 27. A day even more boring than Boxing Day. The turkey's more rubbery, the decorations are more tatty and you've eaten so much Haribo you've started to hallucinate.

But fear not, because hecklerspray's very own personal best-of-2007 lists are here again to save the day. Literally save the day. Like Superman would. As you know by now, the Spraylist is a chance to shine a light on the essentially contradictory nature of the senior hecklerspray writers by getting them to reveal a bunch of stuff they liked this year, even though chances are all the stuff's been slagged off on these pages within the last 12 months anyway. Probably by the same people who are now saying they liked it. It's a tough life.

Today - our favourite movies of 2007…

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Boxing day. A day of cold turkey, lingering family resentment and the fist-hard realisation that you didn't get a Nintendo Wii.

But don't worry. We're here. Well, actually we're not here at all. We wrote this weeks ago. Right now we're either laying on the balcony of an exclusive five-star hotel in the Seychelles or we're watching An American Tail on TV in bed with a bucket of Haribo and a hangover. Who knows where our lives will take us?

Anyway, as is now fast becoming traditional in the week between Christmas and the new year, we're going to fill the gap with the Spraylist, a personal insight into the stuff our senior writers liked best this year. And we're kicking off today with everyone's favourite albums…

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That's us for this year, then - we're off to spend a week celebrating Christmas by not staring at two-dimensional flickering screen positioned nine inches away from our noses for 13 hours a day.

Almost - you'll still be able to read our now-traditional Christmas Best-Of lists between Boxing Day and New Year's Eve. But look how good 2007 has been - every single famous person in the world has either overdosed on drugs, made a sex tape, got pregnant, wound up in jail or spent prolonged periods of time locked up in jail. Every single one. Will 2008 be able to top that? Of course it will! At the rate things are going, if Britney Spears hasn't caused a large nuclear reactor to melt down and explode by Valentine's day we'll be awfully surprised. And hecklerspray might even have a surprise or two up its sleeve for you as well…

Not that 2007 hasn't been a sterling year for us. We've won awards, been threatened with legal action from famous Hollywood directors, had our name mispronounced twice by Sky News presenters and - best of all - we're twice as big now than we were at this point last year. A lot of that is down to you, you crazy bunch of kids. All of us here would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts, but our natural aversion to sincerity in any form won't let us. So we've roped in our famous friend Alec Baldwin to tell you all the things we want to, but can't.

We'll be back in full force on January 2 to try and make news out of the scraps of post-Christmas nothingness that'll be bobbing around. But until then, have a jolly bloody merry Christmas, the sodding lot of you.