Now, far be it for us to suggest that all vegetarians are gaunt, lifeless, protein-deprived morons who don’t realise that chewing on bleeding lumps of dead animal is both cool and sexy, but there’s a definitely a lack of sexy vegetarians around.

Why do we say that? Because animal rights group PETA has named its annual ‘World’s Sexiest Vegetarians’ list – a little like trying to find the world’s tubbiest anorexic or the world’s most interesting envelope – and the results are so depressing that we’re planning to visit the winners’ houses and frisbee lamb chops into their mouths just to get them disqualified. Why? Because PETA has decided that this year’s World’s Sexiest Vegetarians are Carrie Underwood from American Idol – who was also the World’s Sexiest Vegetarian two years ago – and a bloke so startlingly anonymous that we’re not even sure his mother knows who he is.