Steady yourselves. We’ve got some big news. Ready? Get this – there’s a beauty queen with quite a high opinion of herself.
Alright, that’s not news – everybody knows that if you put a beauty queen anywhere near any reflective surface she’ll probably try to dry-hump it. But when the beauty queen in question is recently-ousted Miss California Carrie Prejean, and the high opinion of herself manifests itself in a string of berserk, illiterate emails to the Miss California director, then it’s news.
OK, it’s not news either. But it means we can make fun of Carrie Prejean, and that’s always hilarious.
The fundamental debate at the heart of this endless Carrie Prejean malarkey ultimately boils down to the question of free speech. Yes, Carrie Prejean may have potentially lost the Miss USA pageant by banging on about how much she dislikes gay people and how she tried to claw her own face off with her acrylic fingernails the first time she ever saw an episode of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (we’re paraphrasing) but isn’t this a free society? Shouldn’t Carrie Prejean be allowed to ay anything she likes?
The answer, clearly, is yes. Free speech is a basic human right, and it doesn’t matter if Carrie Prejean uses that right to denounce a section of the community as immoral. It doesn’t matter if Carrie Prejean makes a series of television commercials reinforcing her point. It doesn’t matter if she makes some of those points in just her knickers.
And, really, it doesn’t even matter if Carrie Prejean wants to send a batty series of increasingly-insane emails informing the Miss California director of how little respect she has for him in such a crackpot, badly-written way that if anyone were to actually read them aloud they’d end up being dragged away to a lunatic asylum by a team of burly men equipped with nets and syringes.
Which is just as well because, hey, that’s what she’s done. Now that she’s been sacked as Miss California for essentially being a horrible person, Carrie Prejean’s emails to the pageant director Keith Lewis have been made public. And they’re so perfect that we’d quite like someone to engrave them verbatim onto the side of a mountain for the benefit of future generations.
Ready? Here’s our favourite bit. It comes in reply to an email from Lewis politely asking her to inform him of all her planned appointments – including being a stand-in DJ on a local radio station and appearing at the Special Olympics – so they can be placed on a master calendar to avoid scheduling conflicts:
“You do not cooperate with me, and you pick and chose the things YOU want me to do. That is not happening anymore. Stop speaking for me. I have MY own voice. What are u gonna do fire me for volunteering for the special olympics hahaha ur crazy No I am doing this appearance. You do not need details. Its for the SPECIAL OLYMPICS!!! You just need to know I will be doing it alright.”
Oh Carrie Prejean, we take everything back. You’re brilliant. We’re addressing you directly, by the way, because if your grammar and punctuation are anything to go by, we’d imagine that you’re already a seasoned hecklerspray commenter.
Still, as embarrassing as these emails are, at least it’s given you a couple of golden options for the title of your inevitable reality TV show. And for the record, we’ll be sure to watch regardless of whether you choose to call it Carrie Prejean: Hahaha Ur Crazy or Carrie Prejean: SPECIAL OLYMPICS!!!
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
This story is bloody great. MOAR EMAILS PLZ
You do not pick and chose the things YOU want to report about me. That is not happening anymore. Stop speaking about me. I have MY own voice. What are u gonna do mock me for hating the gays and having unwarranted self-importance hahaha ur crazy No I am not going to do any more funny things for you to write about. You do not need details.
obviously the girl deserves to be in the special olympics, why not just let her go? mmmh?
Carrie,
God bless and support you. You spoke your opinion and didn’t ramble on about some mindless world peace. I think that christians are too often persecuted. You did not say you hated the gays, you just disgreed with marriage. So what. You still have the title as far as Im concerned and now I will never watch the Miss America Pagent again . Nor will I support any shows or products that Mr Trump has now or in the future .
Thank you
Ladibelle
Wrong Pageant.
Donald Trump owns Miss USA/Universe.
Miss America contestants are a different breed of girls.
Obviously, they aren’t bred for brains.
I wouldn’t have been that tactful if they were haranguing me from day one. She hardly had time to get Shanna’s original knives out of her back.
carrie prejean is the best. I love her and comend her courage to stand up for what she believes in.Why the double standard ? If she admitted she was gay like the american idol fag everyone would jump for joy. grow up and look at the whole picture.
Well, she’s a seasoned Something. I haven’t figured out what though…
Please make her give back the implants, because I think they’re why she always sounds like a BOOB! They get in the way of her treating others with a modicum of respect. I’m straight and can’t stand P. Hilton, but that girl is an embarrassment to civilization!
Wooow… Speaking of Perez Hilton; Over at Huffington Post they have decided that Perez Hilton has gone to far because he posted nude pictures of someone named Dustin Lance Black. I don’t know who he is but I’m going to have to find out because he must be special. Huffington Post pretty much filtered out any comments that didn’t agree with their liberal bashing of Carrie Prejean.
Ok, now I see who Dustin Lance Black is…… a “gay activist” of course. Well gees, I don’t know what the politically correct protocol is in this case…… one gay male posting pictures of another…. isn’t that just a pin-up thing.
Well Keith Lewis has final stated that Carrie has NOT missed any obligations. He stated this on Geraldo at Large this evening. Carrie also made some statements and one was that Lewis wanted her to reply in writing that she did not want to take the Playboy offer, which mysteriously came through his office…. odd that someone would present an offer through the organization since they are suppose to be the ones against this.
It just smells really bad….. any cheap two-bit manager can make life miserable enough to force an employ out….. And I think Lewis safely falls into that category. Frump should fire Lewis for taking so long to force Carrie out.
I sure hope Shanna Moakler isn’t finished being a role model for her child, although I’m sure she could have passed on her moral content by now. Didn’t she promise to commit herself to her child for a while????
THIS BIMBO IS MY FAVORITE ! I THINK SHE IS JUST MAD SHE COULD NOT COMPETE IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS ————- PLEASE CANT SHE GO BACK TO HELL WHERE SHE CAME FROM ?
This woman was right from the beginning. She had every right to state her opinion and then that lame ass Perez Hilton (what kind of stupid name is that ANYWAY???)
and that stupid ass Shanna Moakler who looks like a complete white trash whore has to get up in the middle of everything to get some attention for her failing, untalented self.
Maybe she wasn’t exactly “fulfilling” her contractual obligations, but I can promise you that she will be fine without that biased pageant anyway. Look at her, she’s beautiful and has moral decency too. What’s wrong with that? Everyone aspires to be what they wanna be. You wanna be a fag or a slut, fine, you wanna be a good girl, that should be fine too.
Look at her, she’s beautiful and has moral decency too. What’s wrong with that? Everyone aspires to be what they wanna be. You wanna be a fag or a slut, fine, you wanna be a good girl, that should be fine too.
love the irony of this statement now — but then again, cinematic daring diddle days as a teen don’t necessarily make one a fag or a slut i s’pose. though you’d have to rule out “good girl”, too.