You’re all going to have to get used to this. Miss California Carrie Prejean is the new Chris Brown and Rihanna.
Except without the sweet release of physical violence. Today: two pieces of Carrie Prejean news. Firstly, the naked Carrie Prejean photo that turned up this week is apparently one of many, and the rest are forthcoming. Secondly, Carrie Prejean apparently hates gay people because her mother constantly told her that her dad was gay while she was growing up.
Thirdly, this Carrie Prejean saga seems to have been written by a grossly incompetent TV movie scriptwriter. Fourthly, shut up.
This Miss California Carrie Prejean anti-gay thing seems to have split the world in two – those for gay marriage and those against gay marriage. Also those accepting of homosexuality and those against it. Also those who can spell and those whose website comments are essentially made up of long strings of angry, jagged, unconnected consonants. Also, those who won’t shut up and… oh, those who won’t shut up. Weird.
But as a beauty queen, Carrie Prejean’s main role is to unite. Well, unite and thump on insincerely about world peace in the blind hope that a panel of middle-aged men will lend her a tatty sash for a year. Anyway, our point is that – so far – Carrie Prejean has done a brilliant job of uniting everyone. Mainly because she’s managed to offend everyone on the planet, but still.
First Carrie Prejean managed to offend a vast swathe of the community by speaking out about gay marriage and then making an advert about how the thought of two men rubbing their genitals together makes her want to go on a murder-spree with hammers (we’re paraphrasing). Then, if that wasn’t enough, Carrie Prejean offended all the conservatives who’d previously adopted her as their non-threateningly sexy mouthpiece by posing naked for photos four years ago.
Previously, Carrie Prejean had a winning excuse for the naked photos – she’s a model, and sometimes models have to pose for tawdry naked photos with no make up on in what appears to be someone’s grotty apartment prior to the legal age of consent. Also, Prejean maintained that it was the only naked photo of her ever taken.
Which is wasn’t, clearly, because another one has surfaced on thedirty.com, with the promise of more to come. So that’s that.
More hilarious, however, is the explanation for why Carrie Prejean is such a squawking wrongheaded reactionary in the first place. In what will make a perfect flashback scene when somebody writes the Carrie Prejean: Slightly Pretty, Worrying Orange & Massively Bigoted screenplay, it transpires that her parents might have put the idea that gay people are evil in her head while they were divorcing. The New York Daily News reports:
In one of the documents, Prejean’s father describes a confrontation he had with her mother in 1996, in which “Ms. Prejean accused me, in front of our daughter, of homosexuality.”… Court papers dated May 16, 2000, include the following statement from a court-appointed counselor: “The mother also alleges the father told the girls their stepfather was gay, that all men with mustaches are gay.”
It’s one for the nature vs nurture debate, isn’t it? Is Carrie Prejean so firmly against gay marriage because her parents brought her up believing that ‘gay’ was the worst insult you could ever use on anybody, or is it because both her parents are clearly remedial-level dunderheads and their combined DNA has left Carrie Prejean roughly as clever as a bag of hair? You decide.